there's a darkness to fill

“jesus christ.” erik said as he listened to the other. he should have been there, he might have been able to stop it. “any chance to hear about you having your ass handed to you.”

“how about i let your imagination run wild with that one.” caleb said as he continued to look over the other, his hand gently pressing against skylar’s side. “actually i already spoke to frank, you aren’t going back to work tomorrow.”

      at the other’s words he forced himself to only chuckle instead of outright laughing.  “   i honestly thought that was a given already. inside or outside the walls there’s not a single sane person, but i guess that’s what this world does to everyone. you’d think by now you would be used to it,   ”   he said, shrugging.

        hearing the familiar voice, skylar wasn’t too sure he wanted to share the rare warm water that was mainly because of the weather. god, he wished they had hot water often enough, but no it was usually cold and he was thankful for the lukewarmness of it. it was when he looked over at rafe that he decided to let him in and he stepped aside, a smirk perking up the corner of his lips.  “   i guess i can let you in with me,   ”   he said, his voice teasing.

                           it   seemed   like   an   endless   cycle,   the   loving   each   other   and   then   fighting. rhys hated himself because of it. hated that he couldn’t just admit how sorry he was, how in love he was, how he just CONTINUED to hurt skylar. hated how selfish he was when it came to the other man. knowing sky could have easily of been with rafe when he came… it broke his heart, even when he did the same thing. but there was no stopping rhys from coming back to skylar. because even if he didn’t deserve sky, he WANTED him.

with their forehead pressed together, with skylar in his arms… it was this moment rhys didn’t want to end. ever. skylar wasn’t his, he knew this.. but it didn’t stop him from think og the other man as his, because he knew his OWN heart belonged to skylar. even if he didn’t want it.  f o r e v e r  . it was a simple word, one that rhys was SURE sky didn’t mean, but it still made him happier than he’s ever been. “ forever it is. ” he whispered before his lips were on his once more, stepping forward, forcing sky to step back since his arms were still around him. raising one hand, cupping the mans cheek while his other arm pulled skylar’s body even closer to him. 

       as lips met and his feet moved along with rhys, thoughts kept repeating in his head. please, don’t let me go. please, please just love me. words he wouldn’t and couldn’t say out loud no matter how vulnerable he was feeling --- at least he assumed he could never get to that level of vulnerability, but he didn’t want to think on it too much because if he did the tears that were behind his now closed eyelids would spill and the very last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of rhys. that would only give the other ammo for future fights because god knew there would be fights.

                         the   most   heart   breaking   thing   about   skylar   and   rhys   ––- was that they both still obviously cared so much for the other. however, both were oblivious to how the other truly felt. even if everyone else could see it. had things been the other way around, rhys wouldn’t want sky to show up for him, wouldn’t deserve it. but he knew that sky would be there. sky may not be sure of what rhys would do and rhys might not want sky to show up for him ( because again, he doesn’t think he deserve it ), but there was no REAL question. no matter what, no matter the fight, no matter how long they’ve been avoiding each other, they would be THERE for each other. 

he couldn’t, NO, WOULDN’T let him go. the worry and pain filled him. pain over the IDEA of never seeing this man again. of losing him so  C O M P L E T E L Y . it was something he couldn’t live with. when skylar spoke rhys found himself nodding easily. pressing his forehead against his. “ i’ll stay as long as you’ll have me. ” his grip on him tightened slightly, but he was still careful, didn’t want to irritate his injuries. 

      inside skylar was calling himself pathetic, needy, a disgrace because here stood this man he loved more than anything, more than his own life and would gladly give it up for him yet it was the same one that broke his heart years ago. a heart that never really healed and maybe that was because time after time he was running back to rhys like a damn lost puppy. the countless fights he got in just for someone saying a bad word about him, but never did he tell him that. it was always another reason he gave that he fought the person, skylar always secretly protective and --- always in pain over it, over rhys.

“ y’know, i would,  but i feel like she just lost her mojo.  “   rafe comments and starts to fiddle with his shirt.  then, he gets an idea and his motions idle for a moment. his lips purse and he steps towards the other, lashes batting.  “ plus, i like what i have now a lot better. “  he comments, voice dipping into something deeper and more sultry.  “ maybe i could help you feel better from your little field trip.  “  rafe’s free hand comes up to rest against the side of his neck, and he lifts his gaze to meet with skylar’s.

gideon knew that skylar was smart and that he could have survived much worse but she couldn’t help but worry. “well don’t let it happen again.” she said as she pulled away, her eyes scanning over him and his injuries. “hey i was a kid –– i can be scary now.”

“oh please, you can’t even take me now.” he said with a soft laugh. “stuck in a hole? now thats a story i need to hear.”

“i think you and i both know where a having a drink would lead us –– and you are in no condition to be doing that much work.” he said to the other, checking over his chest before rolling his eyes. “theres no internal bleeding and i like seeing that.”

it’s reckless and just plain stupid what he is doing.  or him and some engineer girl half clothed and barely hidden. they’re tucked inside one of the rooms of the foster building. hearing the door open, the girl is quick to scurry off, blushing and hiding herself with her small pile of clothes in her arms. rafe turns to look over at the intruder and he huffs.  “ and it was just getting good. c’mon, seriously you have the worst timing.  “  luckily, his boxers are still on, and he reaches for his slacks to tug them on.

as he held her hand to move away from him, her eyes met his face. no matter what he said, she would not change her opinion. she would just continue to insist on being his friend. “i don’t believe you. if what you want is to push me away, i won’t let you.”