HEYYY! me and @lyraisnotonfire post a hard launch bingo card WEEKLY (usually every sunday) so follow @hardlaunchbingo for that!! And i maybe say things sometimes^^
"you might as well be as weird, or gay as you can until we all die, turn to dust, and fucking evaporate" - Daniel Howell
Welcome to my blog!!
HEY! Im El or Ilya (friends also used to call me worm as a joke and it stuck as another nickname) i unfortunately reside in america, im 17 (18 in November, free me), i use any pronouns (pronouns page here), gender and pronouns are whatever you want it to be, have fun, because i sure as hell got no idea, might as well have fun with it am I right, sexuality though i am asexual and nebularomantic and idk if there's a term for it or if i just say pansexual but id be in a queerplatonic relationship with any gender idgaf
What do i do on here?: i tend to just reblog anything and everything i enjoy or relate to! Main thing i post about is Dan and Phil right now, i also post a weekly bingo card for the hard launch podcast with @lyraisnotonfire so follow @hardlaunchbingo for that! >:P
Other Interests/Hobbys i have: im also super into Hozier, Florence and The Machine, Noah Kahan, Muse, Next to Normal, Sherlock and Co, Percy Jackson, Good Omens, Doctor Who, Space, Greek Mythology (mythology just in general tbh i just know more about greek than others), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Hermitcraft, Marvel (sort of?) Pen palling, Crafting, Witchcraft, Reading, Various games, Project Hail Mary, and Smosh so i might reblog stuff about those things sometimes as well :]
Star signs? Mbti? Etc: im a Scorpio sun, Aries moon, and Capricorn rising (still not sure what that means exactly but its still fun) and my mbti is INFJ last i checked, i should probably do it again pretty soon, also lmk if theres any more of those quiz things I should take to add here!
Other random shite about me: My birthday is November 10th, my favorite scent is eucalyptus, I have a dysautonomia (was diagnosed with vasovagal syncope but we think I actually have pots so looking into that still :/), my family is almost constantly moving so I've been all over america! My favorite color is actually green despite this being all purple, i draw once a blue moon and sometimes it actually looks good and i post it here, im also learning polish!...its so hard send help, I also have tarot cards and im learning them (have been for like 3 years but for some reason i have a hard time memorizing cards even now but I've gotten a bit better recently) but I LOVE doing readings so if you ever want one just send an ask!
Seriously please do I'm begging it's so fun
Current timezone: EST
DONT HESITATE TO ASK ME THINGS OR SAY THING AT ME: im forever bored and love yapping and to be the yappee :P
And of course. fuck trump. fuck ai. fuck isreal. Im as far left as left can go im basically fucking anti government if you dont like that you can go fuck off
New intro post! Credit to @strangergraphics, dividers and such :]
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and thank you @joelle2038 for motivating me to actually start a project and finishing it <3
(pixel grid pattern by Enokiqxsii on braceletbook)
-> very long creative process ramble under the cut for anyone who's interested 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯
Writing this on my laptop because 30 tags are NOT enough and I'm a yapper at heart. (this is lowkey kinda funky)
-> Why this idea specifically?
I can't have pride flags in my room so we're improvising. Hiding it in plain sight kinda way. My family doesn't know what genderfluid even is so I'll be fine... for now. I wanted to finish it for pride month, didn't work out but that's okay!
-> Why jellyfish?
Combining the genderfluid flag with the jellyfish wasn't only because they look pretty but also because I think jellyfishes are also really fluid in the way they move which fits with the fluid part of genderfluid. They go like wishhh woshhh weeee and my gender also moves fluidly in phases (was a pain in the ass to figure out what was wrong with my sense of gender because it kept fucking changing!!!!)
-> Thoughts on pixel grid patterns and working on a longer project:
It was rather difficult to decide on a pattern to use because they all look sooo good!!! I want to crochet them all!! Really important here to like the process just as much (or even more) than the final project. It was really nice to just crochet without rushing to finish it. So what if it takes a lot of time? This one probably took several weeks.
It's kinda sad how there's so many really cool pixel grid patterns on pinterest but they're rarely (if at all) credited and most of them are just reposts. Someone put the time and effort to create beautiful pixel art!! Sure, you could take any image and put it into a website that makes it into pixels but it doesn't look as good as someone who did pixel art by hand.
-> Thoughts on crochet colourwork and tunisian crochet:
After finally choosing what I wanted to crochet I decided to settle for something more simple with only two colours at a time because this is only the second time I made a crochet tapestry haha. Honestly I am in AWE of people who do crochet colourwork with multiple colours. All this colour switching and untangling of yarn strings?? AND for really big pieces as well??? Unbelievable I tell you. Originally I wanted to try tunisian crochet and then cross-stitch over it. Now, idk if it's just lack of experience but tunisian crochet is so tedious for larger pieces... So I instantly gave that up...
-> Learned anything new?
Learned how to take yarn with me while crocheting in a way that doesn't let it show that much in the front and doesn't create a huge mess in the back
Also removing the bark from a tree branch with a knife was also fun!! (There's no way bark is actually the word for Rinde. Bark? Like the sound a dog makes?) it looks pretty cool and it's quite easy to crochet the tapestry to the branch as well. Might even start woodcarving and add that to my pile of hobbies.
-> Experienced any difficulties?
Crochet is not a summer hobby. It feels so icky to crochet with sweaty hands, the yarn won't flow nicely anymore... But thanks to that I also discovered that the basement is a pretty cool place to crochet when trying to hide from the heat. :p
I hope it's still recognisable with the colours that it should be the genderfluid flag because I had to work with the colours that were available to me. Added the silver/light grey where the white part is so it doesn't disrupt the pattern but I honestly cannot decide whether I hate it or not
Idk why it has a slight hourglass physic, probably something to do with the yarn tension while crocheting. I don't have a steamer so it's gonna stay curled at the end. Crochet is so fun when you're a bit more advanced because you can just add an increase instead of searching where you missed a stitch.
-> Next tapestry crochet idea?
Too many... Way too many... I'm constantly torn between crocheting something that looks cool/pretty, something with a more political message or doing a pride flag again (like a lesbian crochet tapestry with that pixel knight I keep seeing around). But something I definitely wanna do is crochet something centipede themed!! Would love to freehand a pattern as well and make that into a crochet tapestry!!
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thinking about how phil was the first openly gay person dan had ever met. and how phil had so excitedly welcomed dan into his circle of old school youtube queers. and how being around that many queers at once (at the gatherings) was so exhilarating for dan, yet he still chose to spend most of his time with phil.
thinking about how they didn't yet know they had found their person when they first met, but how they both had such massive crushes on each other that they were dearly hoping even then that they could be each other's forever. and how over the course of just a couple months, after hours and hours of skype calls and constant visits, they knew. maybe they didn't know at that point if they were forever, but they knew they were in love and it was the greatest feeling in the world.
thinking about how phil was dan's safe space after a lifetime of closing himself off from the world. and how they're both each other's biggest supporters, even now. and how thrilled they must be to still be so deeply in love even after 15 years. how they were stretched to their breaking points, yet still held tight to each other through it all and are now standing stronger than they've ever been.
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“phan isn’t real.” I say into the mic, the crowd boos and throws clique merch at me. I stand my ground, I’m not a fucking pussy. The crowd of 12 year olds start screaming “the whiskers come from within!” and “ladders!”. I am very close to ending it all when two posh voices command silence over the crowd. “She’s right, stop fetishizing gay relationships.” Dan and Phil themselves stand in the back.
“phan is real.” I say into the mic, the crowd boos and throws clique merch at me. I stand my ground, I’m not a fucking pussy. The crowd of 12 year olds start screaming “you’re fetishizing gay relationships!” I am very close to ending it all when one posh voice and one northern voice command silence over the crowd. “He’s right, please write more yaoi.” Dan and Phil themselves stand in the back. Then they come onstage and kiss, holding the gay flag.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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