I.Wanna.Be.Skinny.

So when this bitch Ana found me I was 136lbs. it started off casually, I tracked my cal intake, and how much I burned off. I worked out as much as possible, and ate less. as time went on my weight went up and down from 136 to 132. I didn’t see any difference and I got depressed, and went all the way up to 140. I made a quick change after that cuz I wanted to kms after finding out I was higher than my sw. that relizau got me down to 129 and I was happier after that. I kept going from 132-127, but the entire time I felt like I was faking an Ed because I couldn’t Break through 127 and that made me feel like shit. I was in a really bad cycle where I would fast then binge and I sometimes purged but I don’t want to do that anymore.

Right now I’m lost because I keep one going back and forth of wanting to be happy and healthy to starving my self for life. I have no self control. I honestly genuinely love food and the tastes and smells make me happy. but the feeling after I eat, and the feeling of being full make me feel like I lost yet again to food cuz no matter how much I try to resist I keep eating and I feel defeated. I tried keto, restricting, eating a normal 3 meals a day, and many diets, and juices n shit and I can’t control my self so it’s time I make a change.

If I want to reach my goals I need to make a change. I need to win.

I also seriously need help and motivation so if any of u Ana bitchs out here got any tips or tricks on food, diet, exercise n shit like dat plz help a girl out