Kiki-J🪽

We know Enjin canonically likes hot chicks, and gets berated by Semiu for chasing after women instead of showing up to work.

Based on this information, it's easy to characterise him as a promiscuous, serial womaniser who enjoys the chase and is unable to commit.

But what if the reasons behind his commitment issues were related to his backstory, rather than simply chasing the next high?

We know Enjin carries immense guilt from his past, and feels responsible for introducing his former orphanage to slave traders, likely dooming his friends. His guilt was such that he considered suicide.

But in the panel below, we see an older Enjin trying to heal from his past, using the name Alto bestowed him to make connections.

Enjin mentions one of his goals being rescuing kids who were sold into slavery, which makes complete sense: he wants to atone for what he perceives as his sins.

But what about "finding someone"? This could have two meanings: perhaps he is simply referring to finding Alto to thank him for giving him another chance at life.

But what if he meant finding someone to settle down with, even building a family of his own?

I think commitment of this kind would be extremely difficult for him. Despite being close with Team Akuta and the rest of the Cleaners, no one knows about his past or even his real name. Making friends is one thing, building a true authentic connection with a partner with another. This would require him to bare his soul and be emotionally vulnerable, and I am not sure he can truly let someone in and be intimate with someone in that way.

He also mentions needing a person who is very forgiving. This could mean forgiving his slacking and flirtiness, but I think it can also be read as forgiving him for what he did in the past. Perhaps he is afraid of building genuine connection with someone, letting them into his deepest insecurities, only for them to abandon him once he opens up about what happened at the orphanage.

In short - I don't think Enjin is a womaniser because he sees women as objects and simply chases a high. I think he doesn't know how to to commit.

You played along on instinct and leaned into him with an exaggerated sigh. "Stop being so clingy in public, babe," you mused and playfully tried to get out of his grasp.

The look on Zanka's face and hearing how Gris dropped his sandwich somewhere in the back was very well worth it. From then on you two kept the little act up. You'd hold hands during briefings, Enjin would steal bites off your plate at meals, and you'd call him ridiculous pet names just to watch the others cringe and leave the two of you be—it was just a silly joke.

Until it started to feel like it was no longer just fun for either of you.

The first time you noticed the shift in dynamics was when Enjin took a hit that was meant for you during a harmless mission that turned serious—he didn't even think about it for a second. It wasn't fatal but was deep enough that the blood soaked through his jacket. You sat with him as he got patched up at the medical bay, your fingers trembling much more than they should when you reached to hold his hand.

After that the fake dating stopped feeling entirely fake. Enjin's hands would linger on you even after everyone left and it was just the two of you. You'd catch him staring occasionally out in the yard, something unreadable in his eyes as he took another drag of his cigarette. The jokes between you became different, and you started to wonder where the line had blurred—when pretending had become true feelings.

It all came together three weeks later in the hallways just outside the dorms. You had followed Enjin towards his room and stopped right outside his door—you needed to draw the line after Semiu teasingly asked when the wedding was, and it became much too real for you. In front of her, you laughed it off while Enjin stayed quiet the whole way back.

"We should probably stop. It's getting a little...weird," you mumbled with your arms crossed, trying to physically draw a line as well.

"You think so?" Enjin asked as he leaned against the doorframe, mirroring the way you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

"Mhm, yeah," you confirmed and nodded. "It's starting to feel a little too real... To me, anyway. "You didn't intend for your voice to sound so small, but it couldn't be helped.

"It stopped being a joke to me a while ago." He said flatly; a lopsided grin slowly formed on his lips.

"What?" You couldn't help but be dumbfounded by how flat he said it, unsure if it was yet another joke or not.

"I went along with it because it was funny at first." Enjin ran a hand through his blonde hair as he spoke, looking a little annoyed by himself. "But I kinda like how no one thinks they have a shot with you now... because you're mine."

The words landed somewhere between your ribs and got stuck in your throat. You really wanted to believe him, given how natural his fake boyfriend performance had become, but the doubt crept in the moment your head caught up with your heart. "You're only saying that because it's easier to lie than to admit what a mess this is," you mumbled, somewhat annoyed by the fact that he couldn't take you seriously.

Enjin's expression warped into frustration at your annoyance, almost making him look hurt. "You really think that low of me? He asked defensively.

"I don't know what to think! We started this to mess with people, Enjin. But it also messed with my head."

He sighed heavily and stepped closer, crossed arms bumping against yours ever so lightly. "Because I don't do this—mess with someone like that." His words were honest, no sign of doubt in his golden eyes.

You simply stared at him, searching his face for his usual smirk, the deflection, or the moment he cracked and admitted that this was all a joke too. But it never came. Seconds felt like hours when you eventually met his eyes before your gaze drifted to the scar at his temple that you'd traced once while playing a couple and had wanted to trace again ever since while cradling his face.

"If you're lying, Enjin—" You broke yourself out of that haze, threatening him with empty words.

He simply shook his head and gave you a lopsided smile, seeming more honest than ever. "Wouldn't lie about something like this," he stated with a much gentler voice than what you were used to. His hand came up slow enough for you to lean away if you'd wanted to, and his fingers brushed your cheek before tilting your chin up.

Your face heated up before he even moved when he leaned in to press a feather-light kiss to the corner of your mouth, just to see your reaction. When you didn't move away, the next kiss was bestowed right upon your lips—nothing scandalous, just lips locking for mere seconds before he pulled back.

"Still think I'm lying?" Enjin asked with a shit-eating grin on his face, knowing very well that he broke your no-kissing rule just to show you that this was no longer just a charade.

You exhaled a shaky laugh, the feelings of his lips still lingering on yours. "You're impossible, idiot."

"Yeah," Enjin grinned and raised one brow playfully. "But I'm your idiot, if you want me."

You didn't need to be told twice, curling your fingers in the front of his shirt to pull him closer again, craving another kiss from him, which he gladly provided. He couldn't help but let out a small sound of approval, one hand sliding dangerously low on your back as he pulled you impossibly close while losing himself in the kiss.

"So... we're done pretending? You asked as you smiled up at the man, one finger jabbing his chest right above his heart.

Enjin's thumb traced your bottom lip as his eyes lit up with something that resembled relief. "Been done pretending for weeks. Just needed you to catch up." He mused and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.