(Angst ahead)
Enjin and you as fuck buddies, but after spending so many days and nights together, you both began to develop deeper feelings. For a while neither of you say anything and continue to live like normal. Maybe Enjin gets more touchy in public and maybe youâre softer towards him, but everything else remains the same.Â
Itâs only when you find out that he still goes out to bars and picks up other women when you arenât available that you begin to realize something needs to change. At first, itâs simply putting distance between you two. Enjin notices it and is disappointed at the fact that you arenât laughing at his jokes or are avoiding eye contact, but it wasnât like you and him were mixed up with emotions so he just leaves it alone.
One night, he calls you and asks you to visit his room and you know tonight was the night. So you go, like normal, but when you get there you leave your shoes on. He makes a joke about it, but quickly changes his tune when he sees you just avert your gaze even further and cross your arms as if you are trying to comfort yourself.
âHey, whatâs-â
âLetâs stop this.â Those three words shatter something fragile in him that he didnât even know existed.Â
It hurt.
It hurt like hell. But what hurt even more was seeing the face you made. The way your eyes were glassy, how you bit your lip, the fact that you wouldnât even look at him as you held yourself.
âWhat?â
âI canât continue to be what we are. IâŚI have feelings for you and it isnât fair to either of us. I canât give you what you want anymore, and you canât give me what I want either.â He heard all the words, but they sank in slowly. His mouth opened and closed, trying to find the right words to say because he liked you too. Yet, for as much as that was true, he couldnât bring himself to be in a relationship with you. I mean, heâs already hurt you this much while just being a situationship.
His hands ached to reach for you as you turned around and reached for the door. Even in the last seconds, he couldnât make himself say anything. He knew he was shitty. Seeing you so shattered and sad only made him realize that more.
So you left.
He stayed completely still for a long time, just replaying the image of your tear filled eyes as you refused to cry. He prayed that in his next life, he would be someone that could properly hold you and tell you exactly what you wanted because he knew it would never happen in this one.










