sketchy

The Akechi “I hate you” line is one of the most annoyingly brought up things for evidence that Akechi and Ren don’t like the other, but a thing I wish about the discourse about it is that it was more nuanced on both sides. Akechi DID hate ren, in a way. Part of the strength of the scene is him admitting so to his face, revealing this part of himself too early; an evident weakness inside the perfect prince detective facade. 

Akechi is less so being a liar, but rather a contradiction. Akechi’s entire character relies on him being contradictory, both in morals and emotion. Akechi feels like he hates him because he’s extremely envious of basically everything Ren encompasses. He hates him because Ren makes him feel good, along with awakening a flurry of emotions of jealousy and friendship and desire that has no place in his anger; the one thing that will get him to succeed. Anger is mainly the thing that he’s felt his whole life, it is the only thing he runs on, keeps him going. It has become comfortable for him to feel because he doesn’t know anything else. So when this one person comes along and manages to make you feel things you never felt, more vulnerable than you ever felt, it’s confusing, scary, aggravating. It throws a huge wrench in the trajectory of your life. 

It boils down to: Akechi hates him because he can't get himself to hate him. He hates him because he likes him. He hates him because he’s succeeding at everything Akechi has worked for but instead of turning out like the broken man that is Akechi, he has friends, he found a (arguably) moral way to rebel, he’s doing everything Akechi couldn’t. And Akechi admires him for it, so, so much. But it hurts so much as well.

Akechi believes Ren is truly someone special, great, admirable. There is a reason why all the things he said after the “I hate you” are positive things, things that Akechi wants to be himself. He believes the PT’s have no backbone without his guidance. They are the classic saying of two sides of the same coin, either one could have been the other if their lives turned out just a little bit different. That is the most important thing that: Akechi could have been Ren.

Ren is getting in the way of his revenge plan that, at this point, Akechi deep down knows it’s not great. It was a childish plan that he made as a kid, but he’s so far into it that he quite literally can’t escape it. The only thing he can go back to is his fury. Akechi is so deep in his own misery that he can only look at this person that he thinks is so great and he likes and wants to be around, be friends with, and hate it. He has no choice but to hate it if he wants any chance to come on top. He is continuing his deep seated isolation.

Akechi is a broken, scared child. His emotions always feel bigger than himself because he never had gotten the chance to develop normally. They mix together to the point you can’t tell what it is anymore.

And Akechi is going to kill him soon; that is the truth that is not going to change. He *has* to hate him with all his being if he wants to kill him. And the sad truth is that his plan encompasses his life, it *is* his life, so no amount of good Ren makes him feel, no matter how much love Ren can give, can no longer change this.