Beetlejuice Starter Sentence Package
“What are your qualifications?”
“Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively.”
“I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that”
“I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I’m qualified?”
“Go ahead, make my millennium.”
“Because if I tell you, you’ll tell your friends, your friends are callin’ me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a *hell*. Okay? A living hell.”
“A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.”
“I don’t think we survived that crash.”
“Dead. Dead, dead, deadski.”
“Of course they’re dead. They’re ghosts.”
“No, I mean they’re gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased-ahh.”
“I’m a ghost with the most, babe.”
“You look like a regular girl/boy to me.”
“She/he didn’t see you, right?”
“we’re dead. I don’t think we have very much to worry about anymore.”
“Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.”
“I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to relax.”
“I’m here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, and I will take you with me!”
“We were trying to scare your mother.”
“Haunted houses aren’t easy to come by.”
“Start simply, do what you know, use your talents, practice. You should’ve been studying those lessons since day one.”
“It obviously doesn’t do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can’t see you”
“Maybe *you* can relax in a haunted house, but I can’t.”
“Never trust the living!”
“you have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.”
“We’ve come for your daughter Chuck.”
“I think the reason is, is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn’t get scared.”
“I’ll eat anything you want me to eat. I’ll swallow anything you want me to swallow. But, come on down and I’ll… chew on a dog! Arroooo!”
“I’m tellin’ ya, honey, she meant nothin’ to me. Nothin’ at all!”
“I’m feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean.”
“I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little *action*.”
“ I gotta do a photo shoot for GQ in about an hour and a half. Yeah, they’ve been after me for months. Doin’ some underwear deal.”
“If you tell me what you do I’ll tell you why my husband/wife will fire you.”
“Don’t you hate it when that happens?”
“This was not a hallucination. This was real. We all just experienced a super-powerful, paranormal experience, and it was real.”
“Paranormal - is that what they’re calling your kind these days?”
“Don’t mind her. She’s still upset, because somebody dropped a house on her sister.”
“What’s our curfew around here?”
“These aren’t my rules. Come to think of it, I don’t have any rules.”
“We’re gonna have some laughs.”
“This is my art, and it is dangerous! Do you think I want to die like this?”
“Is this what happens when you die?”
“Maybe we should try that Beetle guy?”
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