Taking life one step at a time. @sixty-three-lions - Tumblr Blog

Second week of my last semester and I'm already in a depressive episode. At least I have my plants to keep me company.

#probably going to listen to sad music and hope it hurts me some more until it's out of my system #favorite saying at the moment is Thriving in the chaos

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It has become a joke with my dad that every time we stop a place the sell geodes, i buy at least forty dollars worth of stones.

After I finish paying he always looks directly at me and say, "I bought some rocks, [insert amount spend] worth of rocks."

Stone is the pictures

-> Hematite Druse

-> Obsidian

-> Crystal Quartz

-> Fluorite

-> Blue and Orange Calcite (in the background)

-> Smokey Quartz (though hard to see but is in the background)

#current favorite is the fluorite in the last two pictures.#the obsidian is cool too #i like geodes #i also bought some pink Amethyst today

This is literally the first messages I've ever received from this person. I don't even know who this person is at all honesty.

#weird DMS #im so confused

I love that I was in denial that I needed to take a hot shower to relax my muscles to get rid of a migraine for like 5 hours. Like when I get a migraine just doing anything physically hurts. Lying down trying to find a comfortable position, nothing feels good enough to be in. And then I tried doing like a cold compression across my eyes cuz that usually works. Nope, my best solution is taking a hot 5 to 10 minute shower and that clears it up right away. However, I let myself suffer for 5 hours because life is suffering, and I deserve it for the test I submitted on Friday.

#I'm doing just fine #I didn't fail a test on friday for a core class #I want to graduate at this point #going onto four years of suffering through this school #i love my major #however I hate that it is one of the hardest majors to graduate in four years with #I don't want to be here for another semester because im failing a major course.

Trying not to panic over my schedule for next month. There's more stuff I need to add but I don't want to do that because that's going to give me more anxiety about my schedule.

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Had one of the weirdest interactions today. So I had someone DM me and they were talking to me for about an hour. Was having a really nice conversation. I got asked if I had any piercings or tattoos.

I said yes I have four ear piercings. And that every now think I want a lip piercing, but won't get it. But I am mainly thinking about getting a tattoo on my wrist.

Explain to me why they lead up with saying that's cool, I have a Prince Albert piercing.

Let's just say I ended that conversation very quickly by not responding to any more of their messages. Think I don't mind the idea that you have that piercing. Only been talking to me for an hour. Also, it directly says in my profile on this website that I don't want a relationship and that I'm asexual. I mainly have it to talk to of my pen pal from Turkey. And every now and again I respond to other people who message me. Also weird me out at the fact that this person was 34 years old and I am 21. I don't mind the idea of dating someone older but I'm not interested in a relationship currently and this person has never spoken to me once before.

ฯ(*·*ฯ)

Excitement, I'm going home for the first time since January next week for a three to four day weekend.

Cannot wait to see my pets. Don't get me wrong I like my parents, but I miss being with animals. Next to the deer mice that are used in my research to study population the dynamics between said mice and an invasive grass species and insects. I cannot really go up and ask can I pet your dog because of the pandemic. Though my college has kind of been giving out the message that the pandemics over. However I'm still not comfortable enough to go back to the quote on quote normal. Seriously at this point I'm so used to wearing a face mask I have anxiety not wearing it. It also works because it hides the fact that I don't sleep.

#cannot wait to see Sunny #he's walking again #also Hemy the cat #I'm ready to be suffocated in my sleep by this cat

I finally repaired this necklace. The string broke and one of the feathers went missing, so I took one of my amethyst crystals and some thread and made the repairs. It took a few hours but I think I did an okay job.

Lately a lot of the jewelry Ione has been breaking so kind of just been going through and repairing it slowly.

#jewerly #repair went okay

So on Wednesday I helped my mom schedule a covid vaccine appointment. We were going to do my dad's but my mom and I didn't have all of this information so we didn't. I called her today call and apparently my dad was upset that we didn't schedule his appointment at the same time. However it's gotten to the point where my great-grandmother, my grandparents, and then my parents are all getting their vaccine on Saturday.

Meanwhile I've been trying to get an appointment for almost 2 months. Even scheduling to get an appointment all the way in June and I can't do it, because there's no vaccines available in my area. And then today I go and try and make another appointment. I get through but now I have to wait for them to contact me and telling me when I can schedule an appointment to get said vaccine. But my main problem is I don't have a vehicle to take me to set appointment when I get it.

So there's this YouTube commercial that I keep getting from Sony and it's making me laugh. So the spokesperson keeps saying "imagine a 3D world where you don't need glasses."

And every time it plays I automatically say "so you mean real life." We don't live in a 2d world you are literally an example of a person the 3D World.

#random thought of the day

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For some reason this past week I got real into drawing single line flowers. I also traced over them later with color, but I like the pencil outline better.

The last one is the original that I kept in my sketchbook, but photocopied it to give as a present.

Flower types: red rose, cherry blossom, carnations, sunflower ans lilies.

I draw more but have yet to take pictures.

So I've been naming plants because Norbert died and for Saint Patrick's Day I got 6 bamboo plants. And of course I named every single one of them. I would like you to meet Hershel, Isaiah, Jackson, Koda, Louie and Milton.

I also bought another plant and its name is Oscar. I need to stop buying plants. Sheldon's doing good but he's a moss plant he doesn't care. He will die and then regrow where he died.

Apparently to one of my residents, I give her depression, because I’m constantly seen working by her, and not going out and taking a break.

I laughed it off, but then when my co-workers agreed that I am the literal defintion of walking depression, I laughed it off again,

It hurts. I do relax by doodling and writing, but it is still painful to know that, most of my co-works and residents think I’m the embodiment of depression because I’m working to keep me mind off my PTSD and like busying myself with different hobbies or schoolwork.

So, much for my good day, I was happily doodling some abstract flowers to give out as gifts for my family members that birthday that are coming up, but now I don’t feel like doing that.

Edit: talked to someone, and I feel somewhat better, but it still hurts.

My one friend told me that she ships me with her other asexual friend. And my response started with a blank stare, then me stating i can't take care of myself let alone someone else. So I'll remain a single till I'm ready.

She then told my to look at lgbtq+ dating sites so I don't have someone state they can make me interested in sex (what don't you understand about the term asexual).

Though in highschool, one of my classmate asked if I would reproduce by budding and that statement still makes me laugh.

New bulletin board for in my res-hall. I got to do origami, so it was fun.

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I just realized by looking at pictures of my dog, well my sister's dog. He has a heart-like pattern in his fur that wraps with his nose. I don't know how I've never noticed this before. But for some odd reason this is making me cry of pure happiness.

#how have I not seen this before

I made doors decs for my residents. I was watching spirited away and ended up drawing soot sprites.

I feel like they showcase what my mind has been doing the last few days.

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