An End, Of Sorts.
It’s one of the first really hot days of summer. The whole house seemed subdued, contently lazy under a blanket of heat. You’re in the game room, mostly because it has lots of windows, all of which are open. Some of the others are playing a slow game of pool in the corner, laughing and joking and making a racket. Usually you hate it, you can’t stand to be long in a room with the others going off like that. Right now, you don’t mind. You don’t know if they’re quieter than usual, or you’re less on edge than usual, or what. Right now it’s almost soothing, to hear Fin and Trace going back and forth with their usual banter, Clover’s little tittering laugh, Itchy running his mouth about every little thing that happens. You guess, it finally feels like home. It’s still strange to think of this place as your home. Your gaze wanders out the window and over the desert. The distance and the heat has the sand rippling, dancing in hazy mirages the farther out you look. It’s so different than where you’re from. Where you grew up. Where you thought you would die. You swallow. You’ve always thought that you would die somewhere cold and alone. You’ve expected it. Accepted it. As you stare at the golden sunlight reflecting off of the desert sands, as a hot summer breeze blows through the house bringing with it the smell and the sound of the city, as you listen to the voices of your gang members, your...friends, your. Family. You spent so long being so desperately lonely it’s still hard for you to feel like you truly belong. It’s hard to believe. Right now, though, with the sun on your face, you know it. Deep down in all the cold dark messy places, you feel something warm. You aren’t, you don’t have to be, alone.
“Die?” The voice startles you out of thought. You let out a little gasp and jump in your chair, your head swings around to stop staring out the window and look in front of you. There’s a card game set on the table before you. Poker. Right, right, you were playing poker. And from the other side of the table, Crowbar gives you a small, slightly bemused smile.
“You alright?”
“Y-yeah, sorry, just got, uh, lost in thought.”
“‘s fine. Your turn.”
You inhale in preparation to reply, but say nothing. It’s alright, though. You know it’s alright. Even if you stutter and space out and think too much or not at all or the words you try to speak come out all wrong...it’s alright, with him. With all of them.
It’s alright, because they are family. They are your family, and this is your home. And you know, deep down, that you can be happy here. Your end is not some vague, cold, lonely inevitability anymore. You know, when the time comes, you will pass on surrounded by warmth and peace.
((Hey so! This will probably be the last post on this blog. Gosh, this blog and this fandom and rping in general has been a huge part of my life for the last like, four or five years. I have so many incredible memories attached to this and I’m so grateful that I found this community and this outlet. It got me through some of the toughest years of my life. I’ve pretty much lost the muse for Die, though, and the interest in tumblr RP in general. I wanted to make one last IC post that kind of wraps things up, gives a sort of happy ending. Who knows, maybe I’ll reboot this blog in a year or two if I get back in the spirit. I’m not deleting. But I probably won’t be active on here again. You can find me at my personal blog @friendlyneighborhoodeldergod if you want, I still post writing sometimes! Not sure if anybody is reading this, but if you are, thank you. Thank you for following me, no matter how long you’ve been doing so. Thank you if we RP’d or interacted at all. Thank you if you were even interested at all in me or my character or my writing. I’ve gained so much confidence and self-love from doing this. Thank you.))
