#SixFootWingspan

#sixfootwingspan

To the winds

And to the winged ones, who ride the wind:

May I learn to be soft in my landings;

Swift in my instincts;

Adaptive to the inevitable, ongoing CHANGE;

Protective of my beloveds, including my own heart;

Present to my ecosystem;

And ready to fly.

#sixfootwingspan

@sarahbushsbdp

Prompt number 6:

crack open, extend, tend to new life

cracking open old ways of thinking, seeing, being.

tending to what’s inside, what’s outside.

changing.

visioning new ways of stepping into, of stepping up, of stepping back, reaching out.

new notions of growth.

#sixfootwingspan Prompt 3: Bird charades: embody and express your favorite bird through sight, sound, art, and/or movement. 

I do not own the rights to this music. Music is by Samuel Lockridge, via Seth Martin based off a Wendell Berry poem. 

There’s a grieving and an aching in beauty sometimes. I’ve been connecting with the resilience of the Stellar’s Jay throughout these many months of sheltering in space. The resilience, the adaptability, and the tenacity of this Jay inspires me. How much we are adapting, shifting, changing these days...but it is not without great pain. 

I grew up singing in the church. Songs of hope, songs of triumph, songs of praise, songs of lamentation, songs of love. There’s something about singing that that calms me, comforts me. I’ve been tuning in more and more to the bird song, these days. I love waking up just before dawn to hear the swelling songs of greeting the day, sometimes known as the Dawn Chorus. Waking to the Dawn Chorus is an experience of deep peace and connection to the More-Than-Human community.

#sixfootwingspan

#sixfootwingspan

Sheltering in place has some qualities of the underground forest, that place of deep shadow work in the psyche, where we meet and befriend hidden aspects of the self. For me, on a meta level, this has been an examination of power. Looking at white supremacy; looking at the patterns of dominance inside of me; looking at the power structures in the field of dance and inside of the choreographer/dancer relationship, as recent abuse allegations in the SF Bay dance community have called us into examining.  

Shadows. Aspects of self hidden underneath the surface. 

I am attracted to power. and I don’t totally understand it. or even what I mean by that but I will say that exploring power has very been alive in me this shelter in place season of life. 

The Stellar Jay is an aggressive bird. They go after what they want and they can disrupt the balance of an ecosystem with their ability to dominate resources. They are bold and courageous. They wait until they are ready and they are highly adaptive. Adapting to change. 

I’ve been researching drag during this season. One of the things that calls to me is the exploration of archetypes in the creation of drag characters. Again, it is the digging into different aspects of self and bringing them lovingly to the surface. So, yeah, there is a part of me that likes feeling powerful: strong, resilient, resourceful, capable, loud and unapologetic! And yeah, as someone who was raised with forced submission to authority, exploring my strong will to live free, as I want to be, is incredibly healing AND scary for me! And in the same moment, that I, as a white person, explore the power of embodying self in my strong will to live free as i want, I must examine my privilege to do so. For indeed, my liberation is bound up with the liberation of all. 

Jay is a protector, and knows how to wait until the moment is right. Slowing down and studying the body on a somatic level has been a big part of my sheltering in place experience. I’ve been digging into the Body-Mind Centering work with the nervous system, working on balancing the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems in my body. Rest until you are restored. This is deep work for me. There’s a lot of letting go required in it for me. Letting go of urgency. Letting go of forcing things and learning to wait. Waiting for cellular agreement. Waiting for and allowing change to happen. Adapting. Rethinking. 

I won’t lie...I have become very fond of the beard. It’s my covid look. I am drawn to the sharp lines. Befriending the parts of myself that live in the shadows, like the part of myself that wants to wear a beard, isn’t easy work for me. And what happens when parts of self emerge that I am ashamed of or feels totally problematic? Well...I don’t have all the answers. Thank goodness for therapy! And kink! Finding channels for exploring power, exploring the shadow aspects of self in consensual ways feels like good work. Healing work. 

Black Lives Matter. Supremacy culture has got to go. Examining the ways that I as a white person uphold white supremacy is critical. Discovering the ways that dominance lives in my body a part of this work. For me, drag has been a part of this deep, befriending of shadow self work that allows me to confront my own demons, my fear, my pain, my own engagement with supremacy, as well as my ability to change, to adapt, to rethink. 

#sixfootwingspan prompt number 7:

face the precipice. live in the moment before tipping. move on instinct.

reflection question: where does the courage come from?

Reflection. Question.

Where does the reflection come from? From the glass? From the mirror? From the moment of pause and remember? Where does the question come from? From the darkness? From the depths? From the clouds and the lightning? Where does the courage come from? To leave the nest. To put those still new tender feet on the outermost edge of the construction of sticks? To decide to open those wings, those ones that have thus far only been folded? Where does the tipping come from? The accidental weight shift? The considering but unsure being decided for you by a big gust of wind? FLY! Where does the moment come from? The moment you imagined you might find yourself in but didn’t know when. Where does the movement come from? In you is this instinct. In you is this reflex to right yourself. To save yourself. To stay alive. To soar. To survive. Where does this instinct come from? You saw your mother do it. Your hollow bones came from her bones. And her bones knew how to do it. She fed you worms and grubs, tipping her large head over your upturned open mouth. The energy came from her, from the interconnected web of the ecosystem, the sunlight, the plants, the rotting fruit. That caterpillar you ate -- gave you its’ wings. Who are you not to fly? Who are you to stay small forever nested? Who am I when my wings are tired? When my body says, rest? — SB

Wings weightless and still, riding and gliding in the gusts - destination nowhere. Perhaps it is longing, perhaps it is envy, perhaps it is the wishing that the clear skies sweep us off our feet once in a great blue while.  ~ frances sedayao

ride the changing winds. let go. feel your weightlessness.

getting lift. the apex. the descent. and collapse. flying into corners of my room I’ve never been in before. 

-Julianna