it surprised him, the notion that there might be something he wouldn’t give back to his team if he had the means to do so. marcos blinks, almost belatedly, and a small smile curves at the corner of his mouth as he gives a nod of affirmation. “ of course, ” he says easily. “ i think it’s the least i can do for you. you’ve been exceptional this season, ivy. we wouldn’t be nearly as high in the standings without you. ” it isn’t flattery; it's a simple fact. the goaltender has been a force in the crease — ever steady and capable of stealing games outright. but beyond that, he’s been something rarer: a constant presence off the ice, too. cade moves through the locker room like a quiet guardian, checking in on everyone else, offering encouragement, carrying weight that isn’t always his to shoulder. and more than once, it’s struck marcos how little of that same grace cade affords himself. he pours endlessly into the rest of them while leaving his own cup half-empty.

marcos recognizes that pattern intimately. he’s no better.

he turns the container slightly in his hands, inspecting it like it’s the most rare artifact, shoulders relaxing as his captain explains himself. chicken and pasta. protein in the sauce. the details stack themselves neatly into cade's attentive mind, each another piece of evidence that marcos notices him. not just the vending machine wrappers, but the pattern behind them — the long practices, the late skates, the nights where going home meant collapsing into a chair beside his sister and pretending exhaustion counted as dinner. he always made sure she had a meal though, even when he didn't. i ate out, had gone platinum in their shared home. cade is usually the one slipping things into other people’s lockers, leaving protein bars or taping notes to sticks when someone looks a little worn thin. being on the receiving end of it feels… unfamiliar in a way that presses gently against his ribs. it warms him. his smile softens, more contemplative now, like sunlight emerging behind a thin cloud. “ she’s going to lose her mind, ” he admits quietly, thinking of his sister — how her eyes will widen when he walks through the door with something that didn’t come out of a freezer.

“ you may have just become her favorite person. which is rude, honestly, because i've been working on that title for years, man. ”

life does not provide a lot of opportunities for dreaming, or even wishful thinking, at least not for those of them born without money, status, or the freedoms those provide. aoife, certainly, spends so much of her time looking over her shoulder that she can't afford to have her head up in the clouds. she knows how much worse things could be, and prefers to keep herself in reality. life is lived day by day, moment by moment. life is about making it through the next day, the next moment.

and yet...now she finds herself wishing. because she doesn't want the spell of this evening — its warmth, its tenderness, the safety she feels even after such an awful nightmare — to end, for them to go back to how things were before, as if they'd never discovered this...this friendship. this attraction. she wishes it could be easy to see where this leads, the way she might if she took a fancy to a footman or groundskeeper. she wishes, too, that she could be worthy of simon; whatever things he says (and oh, they are nice things, aoife's cheeks so warm with them that she thinks they might be stained red) she cannot help but feel inferior when compared to all the beautiful, fancy, well-educated ladies he must know.

but there's no falseness in simon's words. surely they must be true? he has no reason to lie.

❝ aye, well, if the noblesse willna socialise outside your own class, you'll not meet people like me, ❞ aoife says, with no bite to it. she couldn't even pretend to be an aristocrat, is all, but she knows plenty of people like her, with the honesty and capability simon sees in her. they just all happen to be maids or seamstresses or blacksmiths. perhaps society is in peril, but only because it demands its debutantes fit into the same mould, be the same kind of person; pretty, demure, and capable only of marrying well and having babies like a broodmare. aoife feels sorry for them, even as she feels unworthy and plain next to them.

simon looks at her and sees something, clearly, something interesting and worthy. all aoife can see is that she's nothing special.

pouring the milk into mugs, she presses one into simon's hands; her fingers brush his and it's a jolt of warmth, a desperation for more. she knows what those hands feel like on her face, now, and she...she wants. what, she's not entirely sure, but she wants. more than anything, she doesn't want this to end. ❝ i—you're so much warmer than i thought you were. kinder. i thought you were...aloof and strict. ❞ how would she have known differently? aoife's hands drop, and she fiddles with the ends of her shawl. ❝ i dinnae think i've ever had such a long conversation with anyone titled. conversations aren't usually my forte, to be fair, but i— ❞

hesitation, and then she brings her hands back up, an intentional touch of her fingers to his. ❝ i like talking to you. will i get to do that, tomorrow? ❞

the smile she earns from him this time is softer, unguarded in a way he scarcely allows himself, as though her words have loosened a clasp he forgot was even there. warmer than i thought. the notion strikes him with a dull ache of irony. warmth has never been his ambition ; it has merely been the byproduct of choosing honesty over armor in this singular moment. he has spent far too long cultivating distance that he almost startles at the ease with which she bridges it, with nothing more than sincerity and a pair of earnest eyes. her fingers brush his again, evidently deliberate now, and the contact sends a slow, reverberating awareness through him — an awareness that this is no longer merely protection he feels, but inclination, vivid and unsettling.

he takes the mug she offers, hands closing around the heat as if to ground himself there, with her. the steam curls upward between them like a fragile veil, and for a heartbeat he considers retreating behind it — behind title, propriety, tomorrow. but then she speaks once more, and the query she poses is simple and devastating all at once. will i get to do that, tomorrow? simon exhales, a sound barely more than breath, and angles fully toward her. ❛ i have spent what has felt like an eternity being precisely what people expect of me, ❜ and failing at it, he confesses slowly, weighing each word as if it might tip the balance of the room. ❛ and it has brought me very little satisfaction. ❜ his gaze steadies upon hers, dark and intent. ❛ tonight has been… instructive. refreshing. ❜

he does not remove his hand from where her fingers rest against it. instead, his thumb shifts, brushing lightly over her knuckles, a restrained echo of the intimacy they shared earlier. ❛ you shall, indeed, ❜ he answers at last, there is resolve in it now, not the careless indulgence of a duke slumming with sentiment, but a considered and thoughtful choice. ❛ we may find it necessary to be mindful. though i see no reason why conversation should be forbidden simply because the sun rises. ❜ the corner of his mouth lifts, expression wry and sincere. ❛ i am quite certain i should find its absence keenly felt. ❜

the fire snaps softly behind them, and simon shifts closer to it, as much to give his hands purpose as to warm himself. clyvedon house feels altered, as though it has borne witness and will not forget. tomorrow, roles will resume their places ; he is keenly aware of that, of the careful balance required to keep her safe, unremarked upon. but tonight has carved a narrow passage through the walls he built so carefully, and he knows now, that he will not seal it entirely. his thumb brushes her knuckles absentmindedly, before he catches himself and stills.

finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for.

pulling them in for a kiss while showering together.

a kiss shared during a game  ( truth or dare,  spin the bottle,  etc ).

kissing your lover to show you forgive them.

a coy, chaste kiss meant to say thank you.

an intimate kiss full of relief the second you're finally alone.

wiping away your lover’s tears as you kiss them.

a kiss muffled by laughter in a library, hidden away among the shelves.

lazy kisses on the sofa while the television runs.

kisses while wrapping your legs around your lover.

a quick peck on the cheek as one party rushes off.

a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them.

a kiss to convince them not to leave bed in the morning.

a kiss to distract them from stitching a wound.

a parting kiss before one party goes away for a long time.

biting their lip amidst a kiss, drawing blood.

heated kisses while tugging on their hair.

abruptly kissing a stranger to scare off the people following you.

an emotional kiss bringing one party to tears.

a bruising kiss full of desperation and urgency.

distracting your lover from a task by kissing their neck.

standing on your tiptoes to kiss their forehead.

kissing down the column of your lover's neck, leaving marks.

a kiss while being reunited after a long time.

kissing your lover in a moment of sheer joy.

a dutiful kiss with no true feeling behind it.

kissing your lover to take away their pain.

colliding with a wall, then each other's lips.

a kiss placed over their freshly bandaged wound.

a kiss while slow dancing close and intimately.

sharing a spontaneous kiss with a stranger.

an abrupt ,  heated kiss during the middle of a fight.

a kiss motivated by a dare from a third party.

an adrenaline-fueled kiss while standing on the ledge of a rooftop.

kissing them to shut them up.

urgent, messy kisses as both parties scramble to undress.

a kiss to wake your lover up in the morning.

sharing a kiss in a heavy downpour of rain.

kissing your lover just above their waistband.

kissing your partner to seal a marriage.

pushing your love down onto the bed to worship their body with kisses.

a possessive kiss to stake a claim.

a kiss to resolve suppressed ( romantic / sexual ) tension.

a kiss attempting to convince the other party to stay.

kissing the top of their head as you hold them.

a risky kiss between forbidden lovers.

a kiss while hiding away from flashing cameras.

a kiss that means absolutely nothing.

kissing the swell of your lover's breast.

a kiss that leaves lipstick stains.

a kiss shared on a rooftop while the sun ( sets / rises ).

a flirtatious kiss on the back of the hand.

sensual kisses down the length of their back.

kissing them to confess your true feelings.

sneaking off to a public bathroom to make out.

a kiss to forgive one another after a fight.

a kiss on the forehead as the other sleeps.

an  ( accidental / mutually )  drunken kiss.

an unexpected kiss during a fake dating scheme.

kissing your partner after they've given you head.

caging your lover against a wall with your arms to kiss them.

a kiss after receiving good news.

an emotional kiss, relieved to find your lover alive.

crowded, heated kisses in the backseat of a car.

a tentative ,  exploratory kiss between friends.

a kiss shared between enemies during combat.

a kiss that smears blood everywhere.

kissing them even though you know you shouldn't.

kissing your lover after believing you’d lost them.

a kiss after a devastating event ,  meant to comfort.

a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party.

kisses while pulling them into your lap.

a heated kiss while holding them by the throat.

kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing.

a kiss to seal a promise that you just made.

kissing your lover lazily first thing in the morning.

holding your lover by the jaw to kiss them.

holding their face, kissing the tears from their cheeks.

a kiss to your lover’s stomach as you travel down their body.

an abrupt kiss that you melt into after a moment of hesitation.

sleepy ,  domestic morning kisses in the kitchen while making breakfast.

a rushed kiss before one party leaves for work.

i asked the nurse to give you this book so you could finish it.

that was the dumbest remark i ever heard anyone make.

he was pretty torn up that night.

you still have a lot o f time to make yourself be what you want.

i wish i could say that everything went back to normal, but it didn't.

my parents are dead.

i don't know, he just died.

i've had about all i can take from you guys.

you get back into your car or you'll get split.

how was work?

where have you been?

you don't quit!

that was really funny. i don't mean funny. you know what i mean.

i really did try in school, but you saw my grades.

don't you even remember being in the hospital?

i wished i could beat it out of there.

i guess this just about puts me out of every race.

i don't know what i expected the whole thing to be like.

you'd like that, wouldn't you?

the hearing wasn't anything like i thought it would be.

don't touch me.

what was he like?

if we don't have each other, we don't have anything.

i knew i was flunking out in that class, but golly, i couldn't help it.

he'll probably think you're crazy, but ask for me.

he was dead before he hit the ground, but i knew that was what he wanted.

you know a guy a long time, and i mean really know him, you don't get used to the idea that he's dead just overnight.

would he have listened? i doubted it.

some of their parents came by to thank me and i know it was worth it.

wanna smoke?

you're living in a vacuum, and you're going to have to cut it out.

there's still lots of good in the world.

sometimes i just have to get out

i told you you were in no condition for a rumble.

there's a guy here to see you. says he knows you.

a guy that'll really listen to you, listen and care about what you're saying, is something rare.

i thought he was going to go to sleep shaving this morning and cut his throat.

you're not going to drop out.

he isn't dead.

i don't know, baby. i just don't know.

you'd never be happy doing something like that.

dad's a good guy and everything, better than most, and i kind of let him down, being mixed up in all this.

i'm telling you the truth.

you wouldn't eat anything most of the time you were sick.

people i knew wouldn't talk to me, and people i didn't know would come right up and ask about the whole mess.

i'm not crying.

i dropped out because i'm dumb.

i'm okay. just a little hungry.

anytime you don't like the way i'm running things, you can get out.

it's like i'm the middleman in a tug o' war and i'm being split in half.

it was the oddest feeling in the world, i didn't feel anything.

did they hate us now?

where'd i get a concussion?

i guess we all just wanted to stay together.

you don't just stop living because you lose someone.

gosh, kid, you had us scared to death.

we're all we've got left. we ought to be able to stick together against everything.

i've never seen him so mad.

where did you think you were going?

i'm just going to miss you guys.

i had to push him to bed, but he was out like a light in a second.

it's not that easy, is it?

how'd you like some mushroom soup?

i guess your folks feel kind of awful about it, too.

what was the matter with me?

when you're a kid everything's new.

why didn't he tell you? i thought he told you everything.

i thought you knew that by now.

i wished they'd let me have a cigarette.

i'll have to get a job as soon as i get out of school anyway.

today's tuesday, and you've been asleep and delirious since saturday night. don't you remember?

i'd rather have anybody's hate than their pity.

what all did i say while i was delirious?

you really would have used that bottle, wouldn't you?

it's just.. i can't stand to hear y'all fight.

come on, let's go after him.

hey, i didn't know you didn't like baloney.

hate to tell you this, kiddo, but you're bleedin' all over my car seats.

gosh, mister, i'm sorry.

are you all right, kid? you look like you've been in a fight.

i'm not the kind that can lie around looking at the ceiling all the time.

put out that cigarette!

where's the party?

don't you start crying, too.

go back to sleep now.

what was he talking about?

you look beat.

easy, buddy, easy.

if you make me stay in bed there ain't anywhere else i can smoke.

will ya, honey? go back to sleep.

now please shut up,

he's gonna blow up, he couldn't take it.

i don't like it. i never liked it.

we don't like nobody killing our friends.

you'd have really cut them up, huh?

yesterday was years ago. a lifetime ago.

i don't remember.

have a seat if you can find one.

i ain't going to go to sleep smoking.

you're gold when you're a kid.

we're not going to fight anymore.

you couldn't make it to the door through that mess.

i don't want to sit down.

he was good-looking even then

his old man was rich, he could pay whatever fine there was for being drunk and picking a fight.

their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for.

if you got tough you didn't get hurt.

i can't take sides. it'd be a lot easier if i could, but i see both sides.

listen, with your brains and grades you could get a scholarship, and we could put you through college.

that's what i'm wishing was all that's bothering me.

please don't fight anymore.

listen, i don't mind dying now.

what's your address? i'm not about to dump a hurt kid out on the streets this time of night.

i'm cold. how about going home?

i want your own ideas and your own experiences.

he died violent and young and desperate, just like we all knew he'd die someday.

listen to me, you didn't do anything.

how long have i been asleep?

he's kind of upset about all this.

don't worry about it. this wreck's been through worse.

i think he could have whipped anyone, in the state he was in.

it's going to be a long time before i can even think about my parents.

hey, did the mail come in yet?

i bet you ain't had three hours sleep since saturday night.

i don't think he's ever really seen a sunset.

there's nothing we can do now.

i think you'd better go now.

he ran out like the devil was after him.

you can just lay off!

keep that way, it's a good way to be.

you're not going to die if you don't get a smoke, but if that bed catches on fire you will.

i had to stay in bed a whole week after that.

don't get tough. you're not like the rest of us and don't try to be.

what in the world are you doing?

t's the first time i've felt anything in a long time.

nobody ever looks a whole lot like his picture in a yearbook anyway.

he cried every night that week you were gone.

you got a concussion from getting kicked in the head.

two friends of mine had died that night

it's bad enough having to listen to it, but when you start trying to get me to take sides..

something wrong?

look, i'm happy working in a gas station with cars.

it's worth saving those kids.

i'm not ever going to be able to make up the school i've missed.

he feels things differently than you do.

you blasted fool. they don't know you're only bluffing.