Wondering Warrior

Athena: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Ares: Tackle him.

Artemis: Dump him.

Enyo: Kick him in the shin.

Persephone: *points at Hades*

Persephone: :D

Persephone: :D

Hades: *sighs*

Hades: *monotone with deadpan expression* Hot damn

Aphrodite: Always has some candy in her pockets so if she meets little kids or someone sad she can cheer them up. She bewitched the candy so it’s always the favorite flavor of the person who eats it.

Hermes: Lets his friend catch a ride on his back if they’re in a hurry and there’s mad traffic. Never asks anything in return because he secretly loves normal people’s reactions to flying.

Dionysus: Reads every single post on Hestia’s blog and comments encouragements on her poems under fake names.

Hephaestus: Has an almost unhealthy addiction of adopting small stray animals for a few nights. Tried to rescue a venomous snake that was in danger of freezing once and got bitten. Had no regrets because the snake survived.

Hestia: Cooks for the family and packs their lunch in little name-coordinated boxes. Everyone pretends like they are way too mature for stuff like this but they love it.

Ares: Wears each and every friendship bracelet he’s received from kids over the literal thousands of years on his belt.

Artemis: Organizes themed Christmas greeting cards, succeeds in getting everyone in the pic (“even uncle Hades and his idiotic dog”).

Apollo: Plays the guitar and sings around campfires. Somehow manages to not be really fricking annoying while doing so. And in his own words: Doesn’t kill Hermes every time he asks for Wonderwall.

Demeter: Names plants after people she likes and grows a section of “cheer up herbs”, that smell like a combination of cotton candy and wild flowers when touched. She gives a batch to everyone from time to time to prevent family disasters. Dinnertime catastrophes decreased since she started.

Athene: Reads books in her spare time to kids and elderly. Sometimes she tells stories from her past instead of what’s actually in the book. Kids love her.

Persephone: Takes care of Cerberus when Hades is away. Acts like they don’t really get along but absolutely spoils the dog when it’s just the two of them. They even sleep in the same bed.

Hera: Somehow senses when someone in the family is in trouble. Hermes and Dionysus have escaped death thanks to this mom power several times.

Hades: Hosts the best game nights ever. Unlimited snacks, games, everything you can think of. Apollo once made fun of him and now game night’s only once every 6 months but it’s still awesome.

Poseidon: Gathers and repairs stuff that’s fallen into the sea and gives it to those in need under anonymous donations.

Hades: LORD OR THE UNDERWORLD

Hades: RULER OF THE DEAD

Hades: FEAR ME

Hades: THOU SHALL BOW BEFORE THY LEADER

Hades: … how was that?

Hades: I sounded pretty tough right?

Persephone: *peers over phone as she strokes a sleeping Cebrus*

Persephone: I nearly pissed myself. That was amazing. Top notch.

Hades: *fist bumps the air before sitting in his fluffy pink chair*

Hades: what is this ?

Persephone: affection

Hades: disgusting

Hades: