Roy leaves Anya sleeping in his room and takes the elevator to the hotel bar. It's deserted at this time of the morning, as he was hoping. There's bar snacks available and he orders a selection of cheeses, which comes served on a platter accompanied by a chunk of fresh bread, as well as olives, figs, and some scattered walnuts. It is the most delicious and satisfying meal he has eaten in days. After he has finished he calls Joël, but Joël doesn't pick up. Roy leaves him an affectionate, expletive-littered voicemail and then calls Mia.
"Hey, Roy," she says. "Is everything okay?"
"Way better than okay," he says. He pauses for dramatic effect. "I think Anya and I are back together."
"WHAT?" she gasps. "Oh my God! That's fantastic! But what happened to the throuple? Gimme all the deets!"
"I don't really want to discuss the whole sordid saga over the phone. Where are you?" says Roy.
"I'm just about to buy a ticket to a movie," says Mia. "I got woken up early because Sofia wanted me to go to church with her and her Dad but I had to respectfully decline because dude, seriously? Can you imagine? Like my soul isn't already owned by the devil? Also I had absolutely nothing suitable to wear. Anyway Mum and Rennie were up early too because they'd planned some lovey-dovey picnic somewhere so I was at a bit of a loose end. Then I remembered walking past this cinema the other day so I came down here again after breakfast and I haven't seen any of the movies they've got advertised which is kind of exciting. I'm tossing up between this werewolf one and this other one that looks like it's supposed to be romance because the poster's got a picture of a hot couple on it except there's also pterodactyls in the background and a picture of a sheep who looks like he's holding some nunchucks? Which is super confusing but also I kind of want to see that one just to try and work out what the poster's trying to say-"
"But isn't the whole thing going to be in French?" says Roy.
Mia considers for a few moments.
"I didn't know you were fluent in French."
Roy feels a light, neurological pressure above his right eye.
"Okay, I'm too emotionally and spiritually exhausted to have this conversation. Besides, that movie sounds dumb as dogshit, whatever language it's in. Do you want to jump in a taxi and come and meet me in the bar of my hotel? I really need to talk to you."
"You just got back with your ex. Do you really want her knowing that you're meeting sexy blondes in bars?"
"She's asleep. But I want you to meet her, anyway. And you're an old friend. I'm not hiding anything. Besides, you have no boobs. Everyone knows I'm a boob man. There's no way she'd see you as a sexual threat."
"You know, it's a complete mystery why Anya left you," says Mia. "Like you're just soooo sweet and kind and charming."
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