IT WAS REAL TO ME

INDEPENDANT || PRIVATE || SELECTIVE Yelena Belova from the 2021 “Black Widow”. At the moment this blog will be rather canon compliant within the MCU universe, but I reserve the right to rewrite canon as I see fit. Mun has not however, and probably will not ever read enough of the comics to be able to be incorporate that into this blog, but please if that’s where your muse lays I’m sure we can plot something out if you’re still interested in writing with me! Both mun and muse are 18+ and so therefore nsfw content will be present. It might not always be tagged, but I will try my best!  

ESTABLISHED : 10/12/2021 --- PENNED BY : Tara --- [27 || She/Her || Central Time Zone]

           she looks at him     like he has all the answers   ;    and though he’s had a couple more years experience of getting acclimatized to this new freedom,        he’s still unsure about how to spend his time.                  to pretend he has some hidden knowledge that she doesn’t know about would be dishonest.                         “  i’m still not quite sure myself,       to tell you the truth,      yelena,  ”                          bucky admits after a moment,                returning her curious,     if soft,      gaze.                        “  you seem to be doin’  just  fine  for yourself so far,  ”                       he tells her with a quirk of a brow.                         “  give yourself some  credit,       yeah?              you’ve gotten this far.  ”                          he gives a shrug,        an edge of a smile that borders on hopeful.                           “  we can figure out what to do together.                ―   if  you  want.  ”

   felt as though she could see through him, knowing that he’d feel some shred of guilt having left her there. or some guilt that any memory she’d had of him prior to them meeting now was of someone he detested. feared. someone he works every day to remove himself from. her words distract him from spiraling thoughts, and for a moment, a slight smile traces his lips. “it’s yours if you want it,” the story, he means. “won’t tell anybody i made it up.”

   he’d always feared that he was just doing these things, his amends, helping other widows to help ease his conscience. maybe it’d grant him a dreamless sleep for one night. it felt somewhat selfish, despite the sincerity that enveloped his words. of course, he doesn’t doubt that yelena or the other freed widows needed his help when it came to making a life on their own, but he knows how overwhelming it could be to be thrust into a world without anybody but yourself to tell you what you have to do. “an’ what are you doing these days, pilot?” he feels more comfortable sharing his curiosities now that they’ve spoken for a while (and that’s really saying a lot) — was she still in hiding? unsure of what to do? he wouldn’t blame her if that were the case, there was … a lot of uncertainty, a lot risks that accompanied coming out of the shadows. but he doesn’t need to tell her that. bucky drinks, knowing he couldn’t feel the buzz from it.

“Well,  let’s  just  hope  he  is  like  Bruce  Banner  and  can  revert  back.  Or  else,  well,  you  better  find  a  bigger  hat  for  him.“  John  points  out,  a  signal  with  his  hand  atop  of  his  head  to  signal  a  big  hat.  Not  ideal,  he  knows  it’s  best  to  lay  low  after  everything  that  had  happened  and  this  wouldn’t  help  them,  not  one  bit.  “So  far,  she  just  wants  us  to  surveil  the  security.“  Which  would  be  easy,  it’s  simple  recon  that  even  John,  in  all  of  his  need  for  action,  can  do.  He  is  going  to  therapy  after  all,  and  has  his  own  dog  back  home  that  helps  him  deal  with  the  trauma  and  bad  sleep.  “So  I  guess  I  should  grow  a  beard.“  He  already  has  a  4  o’clock  shadow  but  if  he  wants  to  be  more  unrecognizable,  he  better  grow  one.  “what  do  you  think?“

@sisterwidowed​ asked:1. [unlikely kiss] - Your muse kisses mine, but they are not in a relationship with one another, so it comes as something of a surprise. Works for enemies to lovers, rivals with sexual tension, unrequired-or-is-it dynamics, crushes, etc.      Some sexual tension / attraction prompts

SHE  HAD  BEEN  STAYING  FOR  WEEKS  WITH  THEM  NOW.  Every  day,  she  tells  him  she  might  leave  that  day  and  he  pretends  that  he  will  keep  the  quinjet  ready  but  she  never  leaves,  and  a  part  of  him  is  glad.  Her  presence  has  lighten  up  the  mood  around  the  place,  and  somehow,  through  their  connection  with  natasha,  they  found  a  common  ground.  She  is  good  at  what  she  is  doing,  and  she  is  always  eager  to  help  in  any  fight  or  mission.  They  return  from  one,  and  it’s  night,  everyone  should  be  asleep,  except  them.  At  this  point?  he  won’t  tell  her  he  is  worried  because  that  would  hypocritical  of  him.  So  instead,  he  puts  on  soft  music  and  hand  her  a  beer  to  celebrate  and  somehow,  they  ended  up  facing  one  another  on  the  couch,  speaking,  bodies  almost  draping  over  one  another. 

 “you  did  good.  I  wouldn’t  want  to  see  you  leave,  yelena.”  he  likes  her.  her  presence.  The  compound  has  enough  room  for  her  to  stay.  The  silence  is  prolonged  so  much  he  doesn’t  think  he  process  what  is  happening  as  she  presses  lips  against  his  own  into  a  kiss.  muscle  memory  makes  him  press  against  before  she  pulls  away.  surprise  and  bafflement  as  they  stare  at  one  another.  it’s  a  split  second  decision  before  he  drops  his  bottle  and  leave  it  to  one  side,  as  hand  moves  to  grasp  on  the  back  of  her  head  and  pull  her  into  another  kiss,  firmer,  and  sure  this  time.

Today’s the day. It’s the thought that’s repeated in her head for weeks now. She’s gonna do it. She’s gonna leave. FOR REAL this time. Hell, she’d even PACK up what little belongings she had and put the bag over her shoulder. But once it comes TIME to go? She DOESN’T. Maybe tomorrow. Or the next day. Yes. Definitely the next day. Again and again this happened, until one night she simply didn’t see the REASON to pack. That was the day she ended up here, on the couch with the man in charge himself after a rather EASY mission. Was this a celebration? It felt like it ... but at the same time it felt more INTIMATE. Like he was celebrating HER rather than the job they had just done. 

     It is a peace offering. One that will hopefully keep her entertained like a babe in a crib or a toddler with something shiny. No one told him he’d be babysitting more often than not. There had to have been someone better suited.

     Sticking a child out on their first run with him was…

     HYDRA didn’t make mistakes.

     She’s hungry, at least he knows what to do to assuage that. He’s in civilian clothes stocked in their poor excuse for a closet, false back shifted to permit him the access to stow his unused guns, hers too. One for his belt, knives for her. Until he learned what made her trigger finger itch she’s limited on recon.

     “Get dressed.” He doesn’t mean the Widow’s suit, sweet as it fits her, he chooses a gaudy sunflower dress and lays it over the foot of her bed. Sticking out like a sore thumb sometimes helped you blend in.

     Thumbing through the cell provided there’s local hotspots to eat at closer than he thinks. One in particular suggested be their choice of dining. The target’s having his weekly meeting.

     Habit, or more aptly reflex, slides his gaze to the time staring static back at him. 32 hours since he’d been woken up.

     “Seafood shack by the shore. Target arriving in 30. We’re to arrive in 15.”

Yelena MAY have been a child compared to most of the people he surely worked close with in the past, but there WAS a reason they trusted her with this mission. She was the best in her class if you could call it that - and this was one of the final tests. To see if she could be OUT there in the world, regarded with LESS eyes as the mission ticked onward. She was keen to pass it, if not only because it meant she gained an OUNCE of freedom. 

Eyes had flickered back to the TV as the man began to stash their weapons AWAY. She didn’t like the thought of being without her knives, but he was the boss. If he wanted her on recon, she’d be on recon whether she liked it or not. And then that HIDEIOUS dress was tossed onto her bed and a frown crossed upon her features. REALLY? Brows furrowed in silent response and for a moment all she could do was stare at him. To see if he was SERIOUS. He seemed to be. The blonde THOUGHT about arguing, but she knew him better than that. 

It was pointless. So with merely a HUFF, the girl grabbed the dress and disappeared into the bathroom. Perhaps she didn’t have to, as his eyes were currently GLUED to the phone in his hand, but hey ... the girl could have a moment of privacy if she so chose. Once dressed, she emerged from the separate room and held her hands out by her SIDES. ❝Why do I get the feeling you picked this thing out by yourself?           ❞