Cause no. You DON'T get it. Jesper was Kaz's first recruit for the Crow gang, and even THAT was based on a lie. But that's all Jesper needed to fall into the trap. He loved it all too much. He went too deep. He couldn't escape the cards, the debts and Kaz. They were the only things he felt good about, that made him think he had value. Outside of all the chaos he chased, and the chaos he causes. And for Kaz? This is bad, BAD. His coping mechanisms hunger for control, precision, and predictability, BUT JESPER IS THE OPPOSITE! Worst of all, JUST LIKE JORDIE!! And it's triggering Kaz's worst and deepest weaknesses. It's raising things he TERRIFIED of experiencing again. So he tells Jesper to keep playing, to control him, to keep him in check but it's hurting Jesper, it's poisoning Jesper and leading to his destruction. But Jesper just craved the validation, the words that tell him that he did a good job, but every time, he was met with a cold shoulder, a cruel remark, a dismissal and it stings, it makes him question his own worth, BUT HE DOESN'T GET IT FROM KAZ'S PERSPECTIVE, WHO IS FUCKING TERRIFIED!! Who is refusing to quit, who is refusing to soften, who is refusing all vulnerability and choosing to protect Jesper using cruelty instead of open love. Their coping mechanisms are not compatible, they are toxic and suffocating, SO SUFFOCATING. Jesper is codependent, Kaz is horrible. AND I CAN'T BLAME EITHER OF THEM BECAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE THEIR REASONS. They are young and stupid and broken. And it all culminates when Kaz calls Jesper JORDIE, when it comes out that he doesn't want to lose another brother, but in a way that continues to make Jesper think that Kaz hates him and will never accept him. He doesn't hear Kaz begging him to be careful and not mess up and die. But despite it all, their friendship survives till the end. And hopefully finds a happier, healthier stage at some point.
titsay
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romaincrisis
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