happy little whore

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I believe that those who have never felt this feeling, felt different / wrong, will have a hard time understanding it.  Even after all these years of trying to understand it myself I have a hard time trying to explain it.

What am I talking about?  Gender Dysphoria…

The term “transgender” refers to a person whose sex assigned at birth (i.e. the sex assigned at birth, usually based on external genitalia) does not align their gender identity (i.e., one’s psychological sense of their gender). Some people who are transgender will experience “gender dysphoria,” which refers to psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity. Though gender dysphoria often begins in childhood, some people may not experience it until after puberty or much later.

Everyone who feels gender dysphoria will feel it differently because we are all different.  For myself I knew it was different but I had a hard time understanding the why till much later in life.

Your Gender Identity is in your mind, not your genitals.

One’s innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One’s gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.

My gender is not just two choices, like the concept of a gender binary. Gender is a spectrum, like a rainbow of colors, not binary.  My gender identity has both masculinity and femininity in it.  But my identity has more femininity in it than masculinity.  So I’m more comfortable in feminine clothes than masculine clothes.

Apparently also your gender identity is formed while you’re still in the womb.  Everyone has their own gender identity.  And usually their gender lines up with their assigned sex, or at least comes close enough to be comfortable.  But not all of us line up or come close.  I don’t.  Mine is a mild form of gender dysphoria.

Gender - History of the Concept - from Wikipedia…

The concept of gender, in the modern sense, is a recent invention in human history.[26] The ancient world had no basis of understanding gender as it has been understood in the humanities and social sciences for the past few decades.[26] The term gender had been associated with grammar for most of history and only started to move towards it being a malleable cultural construct in the 1950s and 1960s.[27]

Before Sexologist John Money and colleagues introduced the terminological distinction between biological sex and gender as a role in 1955, it was uncommon to use the word gender to refer to anything but grammatical categories.[1][2] For example, in a bibliography of 12,000 references on marriage and family from 1900 to 1964, the term gender does not even emerge once.[1] Analysis of more than 30 million academic article titles from 1945 to 2001 showed that the uses of the term “gender”, were much rarer than uses of “sex”, was often used as a grammatical category early in this period. By the end of this period, uses of “gender” outnumbered uses of “sex” in the social sciences, arts, and humanities.[2] It was in the 1970s that feminist scholars adopted the term gender as way of distinguishing “socially constructed” aspects of male–female differences (gender) from “biologically determined” aspects (sex).[2]

Some might never understand all the whys, why it happens, why I made the choice and do this.  Why would I, in this patriarchal society, give up identifying as a man?  Why loose the advantage?  Those who say this don’t understand what it feels like to feel wrong, feel different.  Over the long years this feeling has just grown in intensity till it can’t be pushed away or ignored.

And what about my cisgender sisters, other women, who were born female?  They are over half the population of humans.  Isn’t it about time we truly treated women as equals and not possessions of men?