“I guess…” He said bitterly, still thinking about how hard Cabanela pressed him. How terrified he had been of being declared guilty and never being able to see lady Sissel again and how things went downhill from there, leading to his death—
No. Stop. I’m not dead anymore. I shoudn’t go there again.
Yomiel felt terrified for a moment, as he nearly slipped into his old memories again. He should ground himself to reality.
He held Sissel close to his chest, continuing to softly caress his best friend, feeling the purring under his fingers. It was soothing and relaxing, especially when he held the kitten so close to his now beating heart, even if his friend felt cold. It helped him get his mind away from the thoughts that were creeping back into his mind, like a monster ready to attack.
“I hope so… But, Sissel… I’m scared.” He finally let out, squeezing his friend tight. “W-Who am I supposed to be now? I don’t know if I’m ready to face the world again. For ten years… All I have known was that I was dead and filled with grief and anger… What if I don’t know how to live again? I fear there’s not much left of me…. Of the original me, before the meteorite.”
He felt his throat tightening, as he was on the verge of tears once again.
“I’m scared of losing myself… Of not being able to let it go.”
“Be yourself.Well..no one is forcing you to be the old you whenever its the you in the old timelines or the you before all this....”
They continued to softly purr nuzzling the other to provide somewhat comfort to the other.
“You’ve been through alot.We both have,and we are different from it..different isn’t bad though.As for who you are suppose to be now..well you have friends to help you as you rediscover yourself.Atleast you have all the time in the world now to experiment and explore.”
Compared to him who thought he had til dawn to figure himself out before dying forever...thanks past missile.He mentally chuckled not holding a grudge considering the circumstances involving the whole time.But it was quite a rush to run around holding onto any clue he can get not knowing he was getting info on Yomiel rather then himself.But thanks to that he was able to save everyone including his Owner and he wouldn’t take that back for the world.He will always make the same choice if prompted even if he’s forever in this state of life and death.
“When you are free there’s so many possibilities on what to do.You can go back to programing...go explore the world?Help out jowd with detective work.Maybe become a painter ?...Ha ha...Having two sets of memory is confusing sure....and you had alot of grief and anger..but!Don’t let that hold you back.Don’t forget you have a wedding to plan with your fiance,a new life is just out those jail bars.”