Sir Speak

I breathe.

And I realize that I am here. Who, what, when, where, why? I do not know. I cannot understand.

I open my eyes. And darkness becomes light, everything born from nothing- I see, feel, hear, touch, taste. The words color, beauty, joy come to mind Is this what it looks like? Is this what it is called? And then in a blink of a moment, I realize,

This is Life.

I stood agape with splendor No words would come out. Paralyzed with awe and wonder, I hunger for everything- I want to run, to know, to experience more to dance with the flame that surges within my body.

But everything falls short when my eyes finally meet the One In an instant, I knew with absolute certainty that this One is my Creator My Father My Master.

I feel His Glory overwhelm my insignificance. Tears spring forth My knees weaken and I fall to the ground.

And yet, so gently, He takes my unworthy hands, and lifts me from the dust of the earth. With love in His eyes He leads me before he who was called Man whom I would soon call my Partner, my Husband.

As soon as my eyes meet his, I am held captive by a strange connection a sense of familiarity. He is the most beautiful creation I see; Perfection shaped by Hand into our Creator’s image and likeness. Eyes like mine Limbs like mine A mouth that speaks melodies to my ears

The same yet so different. And I realize,

I am he and yet I am not.

A strange heat arises from within my chest. It is blazes like wildfire yet gentle like a petal’s touch It consumes my every fiber. My heart races and I lose my breath. A beautiful storm stirs within. I am not afraid.

It is the most beautiful feeling. Is he able to feel this way too?

I breathe.

My chest fills with a sensation of light and of life I opened my heavy eyes to the first ray of light that pierces through the dust that veils my eyes A Voice, thunderous and yet benevolent, of absolute might yet that of clemence Says “It is very good” I shook off the dust that covered me. I rub my eyes for I was confused, And then I could finally see- I saw the strength in my arms to create and to protect; My broad shoulders to carry and to uplift; And my powerful legs to leap and to stand.

But there is another Being I was like Him But He is far more beautiful, stronger, mightier, grander, more majestic than I; The true King of this place. In all that I have seen, the longer I stand in His Presence, I realized he is the One- The one who breathed life to me And formed me from the dust at my feet. This One is my Creator My Father. My Master.

He brought me to a vast, luscious garden and called all creatures great and small. and appoints me as steward. “Name them all” And from one I should choose a partner

And so I toiled day and night Naming creatures at every sight I asked the animal I named “Bear” but he could not understand; And turned to the “Whale” but she was as vast as the seas that she ruled; the “Sheep” was simple and foolish, and the animal I named “Lion” was sound asleep in his kingdom of trees

I laughed aloud my voice echoes across the fields, for I could find no-one who could shoulder with me this burden that I bear- whom I could rightly call my helpmate, my partner, my other half.

Then one day, He calls me And faithfully, I stand before His presence and then in a breath of a second, I find myself Gently laid down Back to the ground, Back to the dust from where I was formed…

I reawaken. From a deep sleep, I rise, My hand at my right side. There was a throbbing, a stirring, a yearning within me. And before I could put a name to this unfamiliar sensation There was a light- And there was He There was glory, power, Beauty and splendor, And then, by His side, there was…

She.

Towards her I ran, I do not know why. My heart quickens and the yearning within me intensifies As her eyes meet mine. I held my breath and I stood tall.

The being was beautiful! No! The being was of awe!

And then He told me that this being shall be called my wife. My helpmate. My partner. My other half.

I held her hand which fit perfectly into mine. A sense of familiarity springs as I gaze into the wells of her soul. Deep within, I saw a reflection of me. Closer, I drew her; Our noses touch. Her scent was more heavenly than those of the lilies of the valleys. My heart stills and the hunger within me was quenched. She healed me, I did not understand.

A blazing flame overwhelms me and dulls my every sense, And from my lips a song breaks: “At last Bones of my bones Flesh of my flesh”

The same yet so different I realize something profound. She was was not just mine, She is me. And yet she was not.

I knew now that I had strong arms to gently envelop her. I knew now that I had broad shoulders to lift and protect; And the strength of my limbs to stand by her through all time.

Spiritual Goals 2016

Finish the Bible for the 2nd and the 3rd time.

Have a consistent D-group.

Tithing consistently of 10% of gross income after all ministry partners contract would end.

Physical Goals 2016

Lose 5 kg of weight. 

Exercise consistently.

Eat healthy balanced diet; One rice per meal, consume white meat more than red meat and more vegetables.

Family Goals 2016

Strengthen relationships with siblings.

Be Christ-like to each of my family member.

Build a good foundation for a godly relationship with Patricia.

Mental Goals 2016

Finish reading a minimum of two books per month.

Study more on internal auditing.

Professional Goals 2016

Start reviewing for the Certified Internal Auditing Exam. Buy a CIA Reviewer.

Become proficient in audit report writing and audit field work.

Build a positive professional relationship in the work place and people outside the work place.

Social Goals 2016

Have at least one new friend every month.

Become less critical on people and be more trusting.

Personal Goals 2016

Start investing in BDO’s Unit Investment Trust Fund. Investment goal is Php 50,000.00.

     “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). “The Son of Man came not to be served but serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).

You are beautiful. It’s an understatement, I can tell.

But how about if I tell you that your eyes speak of mysteries, would it sell?

Or if I tell you my heart fell the moment you passed by my vision.

Would it be different to all the others who told you in the same position?

You’re beautiful. No! You’re gorgeous. Hmmmm.. That’s a preposterous statement laid.

Have you looked at her eyes?

Her eyes speak of wonders that a wordless man can describe.

Or have you heard the song her heart always sings?

A mystery! An Adventure! A treasure hunt! It make me feel so alive.

She opens her mouth and I swam deeper and deeper.

I reached places where only few men have been

Or a few that she let her in.

Alas! I saw...

I saw a fragile flame under a pale blue colored night.

Dancing her way in through a waterfall’s heart!

Finally! I captured her. 

Mountain View above, beautiful lights below

I looked at you and everything turned slow.

Your eyes they’re beautiful but its sunken deep

And I wonder is there anything you keep.

  I asked and I found out you’re broken,

Your wrists testifies the pain.

I want to rescue you but what can I do?

I could not fix a broken you.

  I will not pursue you, I’m not the one you need.

I will not pursue you, He wants You more than me.

I will not pursue you, not just yet.

     Jesus Christ was introduced to me when I was still in High School July of 2007 and was able to know Him more when I was involved with Campus Crusade for Christ in College. My life was already planned out; I was taking up Bachelors of Science in Accountancy and was doing well with it. My plans were to graduate, pass the Board Exams, Work in Manila in a famous accounting firm until I become a Senior Officer, and then transfer to a multinational company and work my way up to the corporate ladder and probably get married and build my family and go back to my alma mater to teach and to author books until the rest of my life. However the first step of the ladder that I was supposed to be on was shattered. I didn’t reach the cut-off of one of my major subject. It’s either I get delayed for a year or transfer to another course. I can’t afford to get delayed because I have other siblings who are also in college already, and I am afraid that my father may not support me anymore with my studies because of our agreement that I will not fail with my course. I did a root cause analysis on where I went wrong, I studied hard, I did my assignments and passed my chapter exams, but how did I fail? Then I started to blame God and asked Him questions; how could you let this happen? I have been faithful all the time; I was involved with discipleship in the Campus, I serve every Sunday in the Church, what else do you want? This is my future? This is my plans; I laid it all to you? What happen? And amazingly, the clouds open and a light came out to the skies there was a loud thunderous voice coming from the heavens saying “Jose… “How I wish it went out that way but rather it was months of silence, months of questioning and not having any answers, months of crying and worrying, months of blaming and months of running away from God. In the moment that I was running away from God, through the world’s definition of “fun” I realized “When you ran from God, you ran to God and when you try to hide, you find Him there. When you tell Him “No”, He knew right where you’ll go. So when you ran from God, you ran to God.” His promise of I will never leave you nor forsake you became real to me. I got tired or running away and in my weariness he encouraged and led me to the verse in Rom. 8:28 for all things happened for the good of those who love God and called according to His purpose. I told God okay I do believe you that you can make good out of bad and I believe and know that I love you, but what is the purpose of this?

     I shifted to Management on my last year in college, and during the last semester of college CCC held a weekly bible study of Graduating Students called Transition. This is where we prayed and asked God what does He wants for us. Does he want us to become missionary or to be in the corporate world? God was clear, He wants me to pursue the Corporate World and I was okay with that. My plan was to go to Manila after graduation. However, God has other plans instead of Manila he lead me to opportunities here in Cebu City, then I met Kuya Dale and the D-group in elevate. One of my prayers is still what my purpose of coming here in Cebu is, and God lead me to the person that I’m living with, my father. A little background of my father, my father is a military officer and because of his work he is a stranger to us, his kids. He went home for 15 days a year and sometimes he doesn’t. And my father is not the type of father you take selfies with his the stereotype of a military dad; strict, authoritarian, demands honor and respect. So aside from that I don’t know a lot about my father and the same way to me. God put the burden in my heart to reach out to my father and share to him the saving knowledge of knowing Christ. I prayed for months for opportunities to talk about the Gospel but my fear of him always overcome. Until one evening God made the opportunity, I came from the Overflow conference of CCF and he asked me where I came from. I answered him honestly and he started to ask deeper about CCF and the teachings of CCF. He started to get mad at me because he thought I was talking about things that I don’t know, that I’m too naïve to believe in this things. He asked me one last question, if I got water baptized by another church aside from the traditional church that we go to. I know where this is going, If I tell the truth I’m 100% sure that I’m going to be beaten up or if I tell a little lie and save myself in that beating. However during that time I remember this verse in Mat. 10:32-33 Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. "But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven. So with the verse it strengthen me and rested on His promises that He will not deny me if I won’t deny Him here on earth. So I said yes, He got even madder because of what I did, he felt that it was insubordination in his authority in the family. So I got beaten up, his a black belt of aikido so you can figure out what happen, but good thing I trained MMA for a year so there were fewer casualties. But kidding aside, that night I texted the people whom I trust to pray for me and my father, and I thank God for my D-group and other people in elevate who responded immediately that they will pray for me. I felt comforted and I knew that Jesus was there with me. In the morning as I woke up my father asked for an apology for what he did, I forgave him and we were able to converse. During our conversation he talked about how he felt and he told me about his beliefs and why he is so against on my new found faith. Amazingly, on that day I was able to share to him the Gospel; that Jesus gives us the right to become children of God and yet we don’t deserve this and we cannot do this on our own, that’s why He needs to die on the cross to bear our sins for us so that we can come clean when we face God. If we believe this in our hearts and confess this with our mouth that Jesus is Lord, we will be saved. I thanked my father for listening to me. it was the first time as long as I remembered that He listened to me. Did he respond? No. Did we ever talk about it again? Not yet. Did he believe in what I said? God only knows. Am I worried that my father may not experience God in his life? Not really, because I know that only God can change his heart and I am rest assured that His plans are always good, acceptable, and perfect.

Adlaw-adlaw nagkita tas opisina

Wa ko damha nga ma-fall diay ko sa imuha

Hinay-hinay nga gibati ko.

Naghandum sa kaanyag mo

Walay laing maisturyahan

Kundi mga lalake ko nga kauban

Kada Dominggo apil kas pag-ampo

Basin ihatag diay ka sa Ginoo

Akong mama natingala sya kung ngano

Ngano nga excited ko mutrabaho

Wa sila kahibalo nga nahigugma na diay ko.

Lunes, Martes ikaw inday pawala sa akong stress

Miyerkules, Huwebes naghandum ko ikaw ang akong pares

Pag-abot sa Biyernes ganahan nako mag Lunes

Dear Future Wife,

I love you and I long for the time that I can finally say that I am yours and you are mine because we are one. I am praying for you constantly. Now, I am practicing the art of listening. It’s so hard at first because in the back of my mind I had all the answers to their problems however I am learning to contain my mouth and just listen. It’s so exhausting when you hear other people’s problems and struggles. It’s like they’re transferring all the negative energy into you. But I guess that’s just how love is; you intentionally  and gently tell the people you love that you are willing to help them carry their burdens. As Maxwell wrote, “The first step to love is to listen”. I want to learn this skill as early as now, so that when we live together under one roof I can provide a listening husband to you. A husband that will listen to your rants, problems, struggles, conflicts, fears, anxieties, and everything you want to say. I want you to know, that I want to be the husband that you can talk about anything under the sun and you will not hesitate because you know that I’ll love you unconditionally.

Your Future Husband,

You know better than I