Strive

Sometimes she thinks about these things too much. When she's aware of this happening, she forces herself to stop. Her deepest questions have to remain unanswered, and this bothers her. Her own self seems to belie explanation, as if it were somehow beyond her possible understanding. She doesn't know if things will ever become clearer, but she continues to look everywhere for answers.

She doesn't trust her own desires, because she doesn't know where they come from. She trusts her fears even less, for they often seem to get in the way of what she needs to do. She has endless doubts about most things, and not just things in her, but those out in the world too. She wishes there were something solid to support her, some dry ground she could stand on, instead of constantly flailing about in the sea of doubt.