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Know what you want to achieve soon and in the future. This helps you know where to go and stay motivated.

Do the most important things first to save time and energy.

Have a daily plan that includes work, rest, exercise, and learning.

Make big tasks smaller so they're not scary, and you can see progress.

Use methods like the Pomodoro Technique (working for a while, then resting) or blocking time to get more done.

Notice when you're avoiding work and make yourself start.

Control yourself from getting distracted or doing things just for fun.

Say no politely when you can't do more things without getting stressed.

Stay healthy by eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough.

Keep learning by reading, taking classes, or trying new things.

Check how you're doing with your goals and change plans if needed.

Tell a friend or mentor your goals so they can help you stay on track.

Keep your spaces tidy to help you focus better.

Learning discipline takes time, and it's okay if things don't go perfectly.

Think good thoughts about yourself instead of bad ones.

Imagine doing well to get motivated.

Mistakes are chances to learn, not reasons to give up.

Be happy about even small successes to stay positive.

Listen to advice from others to get better.

Be ready to change your plans but keep your main goals.

Try mindfulness to concentrate, be calm, and know yourself better.

Write about your progress and plans in a journal.

Turn off things like social media when you work or study.

Think about things you're thankful for to stay happy.

Do quick tasks right away instead of waiting.

Spend time with people who help you and make you want to be better.

Let others do tasks that you don't need to do, so you can focus.

Get better at handling problems without giving up.

Picture doing well to stay motivated.

Drink water to think clearly and stay healthy.

Have a special place to work or study to help you focus.

Wait for bigger rewards instead of quick ones.

Keep things simple, both around you and in your mind, so you can concentrate.

Listen to advice without feeling bad about yourself.

Use apps and tools to manage your tasks and time.

Reading helps you learn and think better.

Decide what's good enough for you and stick to it.

Believe you can get smarter and better with practice.

Do creative things to stay imaginative and interested.

When getting out of bed, cleaning the house, and paying the bills are unbearable chores, being responsible for another human being’s welfare can feel like a crushing burden. A Dominant who lives with depression may at times feel weak, irresponsible, no match for the task of even showing up to the job, nevermind exerting the effort and strength required to be the submissive’s rock and shelter. Depression creates unique challenges for the relationship, and will test the strength and patience of both Dominant and submissive. Only by working together can the couple maintain their bond and fulfill their roles.

Here are a few observations and bits of wisdom I’ve gleaned from capable sources, as well as from my own time in the trenches.

Your mental health is your responsibility. Yes, your partner should support you in every way possible and make all efforts to help you through the rough patches. But no one can cure you. No one can save you. No one can carry the burden for you. Take your meds. Talk to your therapist. Keep your appointments. And when you feel like doing nothing but lying in bed and hiding from the world, remember that you are a Dominant, you are strong, you are your own light. Throw off those covers and leap out of bed.

Tell your submissive what you need. This is often exceedingly difficult, because you may not have a clue what you need. But make every effort to keep those lines of communication open. During your lowest times, your submissive may feel lost and unsure without your usual guidance and strength. Assure them that you love them still, that this depression is in no way a reflection on them, and give them tasks that will allow them to do what most drives them: pleasing you

Submissives, this is your opportunity to step up and show your quality. Pleasing your Dominant is your purpose and goal in this relationship. Keep to your daily rituals and rules as much as possible. Remind your owner that you belong to them, that you love them with all your heart, and that they are not alone in the darkness. Do those things that usually please them, without waiting to be told. And above all, be available, and be patient. They will come back to you. You just have to turn on the light for them to find their way home.

According to Dr T.A. Richards, we can stop thoughts that lead to anxiety by consciously replacing them by more rational thoughts like the following:

When anxiety is near:

1. I’m going to be all right. My feelings are not always rational. I’m just going to relax, calm down, and everything will be all right.

2. Anxiety is not dangerous — it’s just uncomfortable. I am fine; I’ll just continue with what I’m doing or find something more active to do.

3. Right now I have some feelings I don’t like. They are really just phantoms, however, because they are disappearing. I will be fine.

4. Right now I have feelings I don’t like. They will be over with soon and I’ll be fine. For now, I am going to focus on doing something else around me.

5. That picture (image) in my head is not a healthy or rational picture. Instead, I’m going to focus on something healthy like _________________________.

6. I’ve stopped my negative thoughts before and I’m going to do it again now. I am becoming better and better at deflecting these automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and that makes me happy.

7. So I feel a little anxiety now, SO WHAT? It’s not like it’s the first time. I am going to take some nice deep breaths and keep on going. This will help me continue to get better.”

When preparing for a stressful situation

1. I’ve done this before so I know I can do it again.

2. When this is over, I’ll be glad that I did it.

3. The feeling I have about this trip doesn’t make much sense. This anxiety is like a mirage in the desert. I’ll just continue to walk forward until I pass right through it.

4. This may seem hard now, but it will become easier and easier over time.

5. I think I have more control over these thoughts and feelings than I once imagined. I am very gently going to turn away from my old feelings and move in a new, betterdirection.

When feeling overwhelmed

1. I can be anxious and still focus on the task at hand. As I focus on the task, my anxiety will go down.

2. Anxiety is a old habit pattern that my body responds to. I am going to calmly and nicely change this old habit. I feel a little bit of peace, despite my anxiety, and this peace is going to grow and grow. As my peace and security grow, then anxiety and panic will have to shrink.

3. At first, my anxiety was powerful and scary, but as time goes by it doesn’t have the hold on me that I once thought it had. I am moving forward gently and nicely all the time.

4. I don’t need to fight my feelings. I realize that these feelings won’t be allowed to stay around very much longer. I just accept my new feelings of peace, contentment, security, and confidence.

5. All these things that are happening to me seem overwhelming. But I’ve caught myself this time and I refuse to focus on these things. Instead, I’m going to talk slowly to myself, focus away from my problem, and continue with what I have to do. In this way, my anxiety will have to shrink away and disappear.

This works.

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