girl with ptsd voice: hey, so something really bad is gonna happen, right? you guys are picking up on that too, yeah? The other shoe is about to drop, I just know it.

posted at 3 am and has over 200 notes less than two hours later. girls, are y'all okay?

Ma'am, we're sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband had an accident at the Pianos, Anvils, and Comically Large Panes of Glass Incorporated factory...

he was hit by a car in the parking lot

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

The wisteria one is mine! ❤️

i owe you some money back for straight up misspelling weapon, i just realized

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now

if you think showing ur kids harry potter will radicalize them u are wrong and u should just instead watch a bug’s life and chicken run. there are gays in there, even. no not “canonically,” shut up, i’m old and in my day we simply UNDERSTOOD when a chicken was a lesbian or a stick bug was a gay man with the telepathic connection between our massive gay brains like the baby geniuses. i took a benadryl

stop reblogging this post OP has a foot fetish

wawawawawawa. Very nice noises