dirty little secrets â part two [t.r]
â summary: You spent six years at Hogwarts perfecting the art of invisibility. No friends. No enemies. No one ever looked close enough to notice you, to question you. To see you. You learned to embrace the arms of loneliness in the hallways of Hogwarts, and now, in your final year, you thought it would be no different. You would focus on your studies, drown in your quietness, and make it out of the hellhole you called home. Get a job as a healer apprentice. Get a place of your own. You had it all planned out. But once you catch the eyes of the infamous Tom Riddle, everything changes. Catching the eyes of the devil leaves you tangled in webs of dirty little secrets, ambition, and now that you've unlocked the monster's cage, he won't stop until he's corrupted you. Now it's only a matter of time before you'll give in to the darkness or let it swallow you to your destruction. MINORS DNI PLEASE. please remember to reblog and leave a comment if you can, it helps a lot. thank you âĄ
â pairing: tom riddle x reader
â genre: series, eventual smut, angst, dark, 18+
â warnings: ominous tom riddle, reader is a loner and some dark shenanigans, a lot of potion talking (i tried my best to be accurate).
â word count: 9k
â links: series masterlist đà§ my masterlist đà§ inbox đà§ part one
â author's note: hey, loves! i'm sooo sorry for taking so long to update, life has been crazy :') hopefully i'll be able to pop out more frequent updates, love you all ⥠ps this is not beta read and english is not my first language, so forgive for any mistakes <3
â if you would like to recieve formal updates, i have it cross-posted on wattpad and ao3 âĄ
Tom scanned you in a way that sent shivers plucking each bone of your spine. Youâve never been so thoroughly looked at before, as if he were picking apart every part of you on a cellular level, seeking to understand the enigma that built you.
It was the way you looked at him in the courtyard.
âIâve been watching you,â Tom says in a dry tone. Blood left your chapped lips at that brief moment, your brain scrambling for answers. For a reaction.
You knew it alreadyâthe heaviness of his gaze lately was impossible to ignore. But saying it out loud let all speculation burst into the air of reality, one that hit your chest so hard, breathing seemed like a faraway concept.
âWhy?â That was all you could formulate. Your brain was still mush, still not comprehending reality as it formed around you, and Tom only blinked in response. He noticed your confusion, your dazeânow that you were standing right in front of him, he did not need to make an effort to seek your reactions out in the darkness.
âA personalâŠ.interest of mine.â
You couldnât fathom it. It was like an alien conceptâinterest. In you. Tom Riddle had a personal interest in you. Was this another dream? Or perhaps a nightmare? And yet, it all seemed too real to be your mind playing tricks on you again.
You blinked, red painting the skin of your ears as your eyes shook. You physically couldnât form words, but Tom didnât need them. It was like he looked right through you, or tried to, for a purpose. Your curiosity now burned inside you to understand. And for the first time, you let it create arson inside you.
Tom, then, made a swift move to grab the idling potions book in your hand, âToo advanced. You have no skillset like this yet.â He made a movement with his wand and put the book back, and you followed it with shaken eyes. You were about to open your mouth when, âYou follow everything by the book, donât you? Breakfast, lunch, classes, and even curfew. You never did step out, did you?â
Your lips moved, but it seemed your voice was held in a tight knot at the depths of your throat. You couldnât fathom how he could gather so much information about you, observe you, within two days of school. It shouldnât beâ
Your eyes grew wide then, when realization dawned upon you like an ice-cold bucket. Tom paid no attention to you anymore, his gaze now diverted to the infinite wall of books behind you, his fingertips caressing each spine with a delicate caution.
âYouâhow long have you been watching me?â Your voice came out faint, but Tom didnât flinch. Paid no mind to it, really, and continued searching.
âSince last year.â He said it with uneasy neutrality as he continued to focus on searching for whatever book he needed to. An invisible fist punched the air out from inside your lungs at his response.
Since last year.
Tom Riddle had been watching you since last year. The concept was so absurd, you almost chuckled. Almost.
But the sound died before it reached your lips, because Tomâs tone had not been one of jest. And it wasnât laced with strings of unnoticed cruelty, either. It had been factual, precise. Denoting an incident like a desensitized surgeon.
You hadnât felt his gaze on you for almost a year. You always observed him like you would stars, tried to place him as you did with constellations, and yet you hadnât solved the one right in front of you: his eyes on you. Burning you. For almost a year.
A goddamn year.
You hadnât felt it. His gaze certainly didnât prickle your skin as the sun did. It was far away, you concluded, like a quiet satellite observing your world from light-years away.
Had your mind been playing tricks on you for seven years? Were you not apt for the art of observation? Was your body not made of the shadow you were certain plagued you?
âAâa year?â The question tore itself out of you again. Tom paid no mind to you, treating you like a spirit roaming behind him, as everyone did. But he knew youânow you definitely knew he did.
Your lips partedâwas this how he tricked you into thinking you were a ghost in his life? A light breeze not worth the attention? Perfecting the art of ignoring you? You thought his ignorance of your existence was natural, like every other student, not a Shakespearean-worthy theatrical performance you had just witnessed.
âYou cannotâit canât be possible! I would have felt you gazing at me for a yearââ
âAh, here it is.â He ignored your chatter and grabbed a purple book at the corner.
You licked your lips, dry as parchment. âYou canât meanââ
Tom finally turned, the purple book balanced easily in his hand, and fixed you with that same impenetrable stare. It couldnât be possible to not feel such a gaze like his. It was a magnet, it pulled you into the abyss of dark oblivion of his pupils. It justâit wasnât possible.
âDo you believe observation requires permission?â His tone was soft, steady, but sharp enough to carve into your nerves.
You blinked, his words holding a place inside your head. âWell, certainly not, but people feel gazes on themââ
âYouâve observed people intensely, but they never felt your gaze, now did they?â He stepped forward. The creak of wood, his impenetrable stare, his mere presence thickened the air with that familiar green poison that choked any oxygen inside you. Tom tilted his head, âWhy should you ever be an exception to anotherâs stare?â
Every word from his lips wormed into your mind, eating every memory of your observations, unraveling the careful vines you had wound around it.
How many hours had you spent staring at people, dissecting their ticks, their subtle tellsâthe way Daryaâs lips twitched when she was jealous, the way Opheliaâs eyes twinkled in insecurity, or the way Slughornâs eyes flickered toward his favorites like fireflies to honey? And none of them had ever noticed. They lived on, unaware, as you quietly stole pieces of them and placed them carefully into your collection of details.
But you would have never thought you would ever be a muse.
You were the quiet artist who painted other people's lives with your soul closed and lonely hands. Never the muse.
It seemed you were so convinced of your invisibility that you let it crack right under your nose, and the dark eyes before you were the only ones who heard it. Saw it. Investigated shards that led to you.
âShit.â You mumbled under your breath. But still, what curiosity could ever spark an interest in you of all people? Your life was quiet. It was boring. Not even poets could ever romanticize the mundane out of your grey days.
And so, the question came out again, âWhy?â
âYou certainly ask many questions for someone who thinks of themselves as quiet.â A faint curl tiggen on his lips, questioning you like he knew you.
Without another word, he extended the purple book toward you, his fingers still loosely gripping the spine. âHere,â he said, voice quiet. âHave it. Study it. Thank me later.â
Your breath caught as the book pressed into your palms. Its leather was worn, edges frayed, but when your fingertips brushed the cover it thrummed faintly, like something alive lurked within the ink. You looked down at it, then up againâonly to find his cloak already swaying, his back turned as he began to walk away.
For a heartbeat, you stayed frozen, trapped between disbelief and the lingering venom of his gaze. The world blurred, soundless, as if heâd dragged you into his orbit and then left you stranded in the stillness he carried with him.
Then it hit you.
âHey!â Your voice cut through the hush of the library, louder than you intended. You bolted after him, clutching the book to your chest, your shoes echoing on the stone floor. âI watch you, too, you know.â
Tom stopped suddenly and looked back. His eyes froze your veins, and with a willpower pulled from the devil underground, you forced out the words stuck inside you, âYou don't follow rules, do you? I mean, to others it may be that you doâyou're good at hiding.â Words came out smoothly before you could cut them with a knife, âToday, in potions. You didn't follow the rules on the potions book. You grabbed other ingredients.
Tom smirked. There was a twinkle of intrigue in the way he looked at you, one dark enough to dismantle souls. You preferred when he was ignorant to your existenceâor at least pretended to be. His attention created knots in anyoneâs existence, and in yours, he would be a hazard for your uncomplicated goal.
âAh, quite observant of you. Perhaps you are less daft than I give you credit for.â He said your name in the end, and the way it sounded on his tongue was now etched on every wall of your brain, stitched into the fibres of your memories.
It sounded wrong and right at the same time, dressed in silk and knives.
Your grip tightened around the book. âYouâre avoiding the point. You didnât follow the instructions in Potions.â
âOh?â he asked, almost lazily. âDidnât I?â
âYou didnât,â you insisted, before your courage slipped away. âThe rosesâyou didn't grab them as everyone else did. Instead, you grabbed moonstones. And theââ you inhaled, ââthe Jobberknoll feathers. You didnât stir them clockwise. You waited.â
Silence stretched for a heartbeat. Then another.
Tom liften one eyebrow. He looked almost intrigued, and perhaps, for the first time, surprised by actions of another. âMy, my, you do watch,â he murmured.
You swallowed. âSo how? You canât just guess with Veritaserum. One wrong step and itâs uselessâor worse.â
Tom tilted his head slightly, as if considering how much rope to hand you. âYouâre making a mistake,â he said at last.
You bristled. âExcuse me?â
âDo you really think a textbook provided by a school that censors certain types of spells is reliable?â he took a step forward, and you gulped thickly, your lips going dry once more.
Tomâs shadow stretched over you like something sentientâcalculated, patient, waiting. His voice dropped into something softer, yet still sharp enough for goosebumps to appear all over your delicate skin.
âDo you truly believe,â he murmured, âthat Hogwarts of all places would ever allow students access to the real method of brewing a potion the Ministry itself fears?â
Your breath stilled.
âSlughornâs class was merely a performance of sorts. To make passive students not dare to think they are being choked by limitations.â Tomâs eyes narrow and his voice gets thicker, almostâŠ.venomous. âThe best way to keep a prisoner from escapingââ
âIs to make sure he never knows heâs in prison.â You murmur, and Tom raises an eyebrow once more.
âHm, so you know Dostoyevsky?â
You fight the urge to squirm under his intense gaze, your mind still under the hazy effect of his voice and his dark yet magnetic eyes. You stare at the bookshelf behind him, avoiding the heaviness of his pupils on you, âYes.â
âOne of the few muggles that ever piqued my interest. A shame he was cursed for a life soâŠ.ordinary, really.â
A quiet breath escaped you, barely audible. âWhy are you telling me all this?â
His head tilted like a cat regarding something newly alive under its paw.
âYou wouldnâtâŠâ your voice faltered, tightening around the truth you feared, âsay these things to just anyone. Would you?â
A slow smirk tugged at his mouth. âSmart girl,â he said softly, the praise somehow feeling like a hand closing around your throat. âNo. I certainly wouldnât waste my breath on just anyone.â
Your fingers tightened around the book again. âThenâwhat is it you want?â
He stepped closer.
The air changed.
It thickened. Burned. As if every book behind you was aflame and you were choking on its carbon monoxide.
Tom leaned in with the deliberate grace of a predator who never rushed for his kill. The proximity pushed the breath from your lungs, leaving your ribs tight and trembling.
You werenât used to this. To such proximity by another human being. The most youâve gotten were slaps from your insufferable aunt, while she screamed how much she hated you. And when you kissed your crush in a Muggle school when you were ten, and he screamed to the teacher that the witch had tried to kidnap him.
Another so close to you should have repulsed you. Should have triggered your instinct to take flight and never look back.
And yet not a bone in your body moved because it feltâŠexhilarating. New. Alien.
âWhat do I want?â he echoed, voice dropping into something dangerously intimate.
âI want to tutor you.â
He leaned back, expression as neutral as always. You didnât catch a smirk, not even an eyebrow twitch. It was as if the moment never happened. And perhaps it was all in your head, your touch-starved hormones sending false signals to your body.
You blinked. Once. Twice. As if the floor had just tilted under you.
âTutorâme?â
A faint curl touched his lips. âYou certainly need it. If you continue on your current path, you wonât receive more than an Acceptable in Potions. If that.â His gaze dipped briefly to the book pressed to your chest. âAnd you want to pass with at least an Exceed Expectations in your N.E.W.Tâs, or am I wrong?â
âYou are not wrong, butâŠ..â Heat rushed uninvited to your ears. âWhatâs in it for you? You never tutored anyone, not that anyone knows of.â
Tomâs eyes sharpened, darkening like ink poured into water.
He didnât smile this time.
âA favour,â he said simply.
Your stomach dropped. âWhat kind of favour?â
Tom blinked, his face as impassive as ever, stone cold. No smirk, no eyebrow lift.
âI will tell you when I need it.â
You gulped thickly, heat spreading through your neck. Youâve heard of thisâmen taking advantage of vulnerable women like you for sexual favours. Just last week, you heard your roommate saying a Gryffindor man tried bargaining a Quidditch favour for nights with her.
Men were becoming too audacious, and you couldnât submit yourself to such a nightmare. You were quiet, but you had self-respect.
âI am not a whore.â
The words tumbled out louder than you meant, sharp enough to slice the silence between the shelves.
Tom Riddleâs expression shifted.
A flicker of surprise cracked through that perfect composureâthe faintest widening of his eyes, a subtle stutter in the set of his jaw.
âA whore?â he repeated, as though tasting the word on his tongue.
Heat flooded your cheeks. âI do not want your help for you to use me for sexual favoursââ
Tom cut you off with a soundless exhale, something halfway between disbelief and irritation.
âDo you truly think I need to bargain for sex?â
The contempt in his tone was so understated, so cleanly delivered, that it made your shame burn hotter.
He stepped forwardâslowly, deliberatelyâuntil the distance between you felt perilously thin.
âIf I wanted a warm body,â he said, voice low with an edge of ice, âHogwarts is full of desperate, shallow-minded girls who would throw themselves at me with no hesitation.â
Your throat tightened.
âI do not barter for things I can acquire without cost,â he continued. âAnd certainly not for something as⊠trivial⊠as sex.â
Your heart hammered so violently you wondered if he could hear it.
Tom leaned back, his face impassive as he looked at you up and down, eyes heavy with judgment and something almost likeâŠdisgust.
âAnd you,â he added, eyes sweeping over your unnervingly precise features, âare certainly not someone I would approach for that.â
You werenât sure whether the sting that followed was relief or an unexpected bruise.
You wanted to ask what he meant by that, but you shut your throat before the words could tumble out. Questions lead to answers your ears didnât want, and you certainly learned your lesson with the ones that spilled out from you today.
You stood quietly, ignoring the embarrassment from moments ago, and pondered on Tomâs proposition. You needed a good grade on your N.E.W.Tâs; that was one fact you could not deny. To reach your destiny as a healer, you needed a chunk of good grades, and potions were a necessary one.
On the other hand, help from Tom Riddle was like bargaining with the devil himself. Tempting, and perhaps could lead to your success, but at any time, he could pull the strings to your own doom and watch you fall with a smirk on his face.
And yetâŠ
Your mind flickered back to Slughornâs voice announcing the upcoming evaluation, to your cauldron stained with failure, to the roadmap of your future splintering if you couldnât pass the one subject that mattered most.
It wouldnât be forever. And once this tumultuous time in your life passed, even if your invisibility could be tarnished for a second, the road would turn straight again, with no distractions. As if this sidetrack never existed in the first place.
And finally, you made up your mind.
âI accept your offer, then.â
Tom smirked and shook your hand. You felt it burning under his palm and your chest felt hollow, as if youâd temporarily sold your soul to him. To the devil.
His grip was deliberate, controlled, and far too steady for the chaos erupting in your chest. A chill climbed your spine, then heat flushed in its wake, blooming under your skin like ink spreading through water.
It felt wrong.
It felt dangerous.
It felt⊠inevitable.
âWise decision,â he murmured. âWe start tomorrow straight after class. Meet me in the astronomy tower.â
You opened your mouthâperhaps to agree, perhaps to protestâbut Tom had already turned, cloak brushing the stone floor with surgical precision as he moved deeper into the libraryâs shadows.
He didnât look back.
You swallowed thickly and clutched the book in your hand to your chest, as if it could save your fast-beating heart.
Your mind then wanderedâhad you sealed your doom or opened your fate?
You couldnât decide which was worse.
The ground shook under you. You could feel the pathway you so intricately planned for your future cracking right underneath your nose. The sphere of what you deemed reality shattered, and you were now vulnerable to the whispers of questioning.
No, you couldn't let his silky voice worm inside your head. Tom Riddle was solely a parasite that you could easily cure within a week. You certainly weren't interested in keeping his eyes on you for longer than that, and so, you would get over with his tutoring and swiftly do his favourâjust get it over with so your paths can never cross again.
You shook your head, running away from your thoughts and walked to the table where your bag resided. You were about put the book Tom gave to you inside, but you hesitated for a second. You traced the beat-up cover with your fingers, your thoughts running wild, dissecting every word, every second of your interaction.
You weren't daft, you knew this was a part of some bigger plan inside his head. Observing Tom the way you did, for as long as you did, you knew everything he did was deliberate. Every move, every smile, every word that came out of his sultry lips was a chess move in a bigger game inside his head.
But you just couldn't figure out what he wanted with someone like you. The no-face, the invisible background character that served as a void in important people's lives.
You sighed and placed the book inside the bagâthere was no way you would be able to focus on studying potions after the day you had. You knew your brain would be distracted dissecting your interaction with Tom Riddle to pay attention to instructions on how to brew a potion.
That night, sleep became a foe once more, and when it came time for amends, you dreamt of sultry lips and fangs.
The next morning bled grey through the dungeon windows. A bitter light shone on you, determined to remind you of the hollow in your eyes. Your body moved on autopilot, pulling on robes, knotting your tie, brushing your hair back into a disguise of normalcy.
Acid pooled inside your stomach as a new feeling submergedâuncertainty.
Before, your day was predictable. Every step was the same, every interaction could be molded into a short and boring script no writer would ever bother to read.
But now it was a blank page.
Your hands twitched at the thought. You hated it. Blank pages meant risk; it meant anything, and everything could happen. And the fact that a dark ink called Tom Riddle would stain those same pages made you uneasy. Weary of your surroundings.
The corridors hummed with the morning rush, but their rhythm felt different. You kept your eyes low, watching polished shoes click against the flagstones and chatter pollute the hallway. You usually slipped into that current unnoticed, but today it was as if the tide threatened to pull you under.
You entered the dining hall swiftly as you always did, but the air felt heavier. Your eyes immediately found a certain Slytherin, who sat at the far end corner with other ambitious and pure-blooded peers. He ate quietly, but you saw his gazeâhe was observing his surroundings. Like a hawk. Like you.
You went to your regular seat at the sidelines and grabbed the bread you always did. The hall buzzed with noise, yet every sound rang mutedâtoo far, too hollow. You pretended to study the surface of your plate, but your peripheral vision was traitorous. It kept flicking toward him.
His presence was always a heavy one, but now it called your eyes like a siren whisper, one you could not resist. You just had to look at him. Perhaps you were waiting for something to happen, now that it was revealed he knew you. Observed you.
Your mind whispered reminders of yesterday, of his voice wrapping around your name like a clandestine spell. Tom Riddle had carved his presence into your bonesâevery step you took, you would scan if his eyes were watching you. Breathing your invisible presence in.
Tom sat at the far end, surrounded by the same orbit of polished, ambitious Slytherins that always trailed behind him like obedient shadows. Lestrange, Rosier, Averyâthey filled the air with laughter, but Tom sat in his usual ominous silence.
He lifted his cup with deliberate grace, lips brushing its rim, eyes scanning the hall. For one terrible heartbeat, you thought his eyes would find yours. A flicker for more than a second perhaps, an evidence that the events of yesterday were not a figment of your imagination.
But he didn't look your way.
You looked back at your bread and straightened your posture, trying not to seem like you were waiting. Your hands trembled against your lap as you rehearsed a neutral expression.
You understood. Your presence was quiet. Invisible. It wasn't heavy like Tom Riddle's; it didn't call attention. Perhaps he needed to put in an effort to find you in the crowd, one he wasn't interested in doing at 7 in the morning.
Time passed, students strolled through the halls back and forth, when, finally, through your peripheral vision, Tom stood.
He moved through the hall, and the air seemed to thicken whenever his steps were near. His robes brushed the edge of your table. You could smell that faint, sterile scent of parchment and clove.
Your chest tightened. He was close enough nowâclose enough that one word could reach him.
Your lips parted, a breath catching before sound could form.
But he didnât look.
Not once.
You stared down at your untouched plate, the weight of the bread still heavy in your hand. Something cold and ugly twisted in your chestâa mix of humiliation and relief.
You cursed yourself for thinking he would ever acknowledge your presenceâfor wanting it.
You had forgotten what his attention meant, the poison it would bring to your peaceful life, corrupting every thread you've built over the years. Tom Riddle's eyes on you meant you would be seen by everyone else, and there was nothing more dangerous than being acknowledged.
You were dragged out of your pit of thoughts by an annoying, high-pitched voice you unfortunately came to know.
âYou look quite desperate, you know.â Ophelia sat beside you and quickly grabbed the bread from your plate.
Your jaw tightened. âGood morning to you too,â you muttered.
Ophelia hummed and continued to take a bite from your bread. âIndeed a very good morning. I mean, it was a boring morning, so I came here to see someâŠentertainment. And my, my, you certainly delivered.â Her eyes glinted with vicious amusement as she turned fully toward you.
âYou came to me for entertainment?â You raised one eyebrow and Ophelia chuckled.
âMy boredom was just too great this morning.â Ophelia yawned and grabbed a cup of water from the table, âYou know, you really should stop letting your eyes wander off to Tom Riddle, or one might think you might have aâŠcrush on him.â Ophelia sipped on her drink and you scoff.
You took a rather rough bite of your bread as you replied , âI already told you, I do not have a crush on him.â
âEveryone has a crush on Tom Riddle, darling, so, forgive me for not believing you.â Ophelia snorted and sipped her water, âWell, even if you don't, here's some friendly advice: stay away from him.â She leaned her head, her lips touching your ear, as if she were to conspire a coup against an empire. âHe is bad news and dangerous. I wouldn't want to have you tangled in hisâŠbusiness.â
Your eyebrows furrowed, but before questions could blurt out of your mouth, Ophelia placed her drink on the table and smiled, as the moment before had just been a figment of your wild imagination. You stared at her, bewildered, but most of allâŠcurious.
âI'm going to be late for my first lesson. I'll see youâŠ.around.â She didnât wait for a responseâshe never did. Her heels clicked against the stone floor as she melted back into the crowd, leaving behind the faint scent of something floral.
You remained seated for a moment longer, staring at the space sheâd occupied.
Bad news and dangerous.
The words echoed, aiding the vines of curiosity to grow even deeper into your mind. They were poisonous for your future, for your dreams of tranquility, but their glimmer was too hard to ignore. You couldn't help but wonder what Ophelia could possibly have meant. Did she know Tom so personally that she was in her right to give warnings? Or was she basing herself on rumours?
But what rumours?
You were a ghost through Hogwarts halls, and could hear the whispers through its walls. You knew almost every rumourâyou heard every sneer, every gossip when students thought they were away from prying eyes, because well, you were a wall to them.
And you had never heard of such a rumour. Tom was regarded with rose-coloured eyes by every student, save for those who spat his name in envy of his natural talents and charm. Most were men, of course, who eyed him like competition for their fragile egos.
You pushed yourself to stand and forced the lingering thoughts out of your head. Now was not the time to enter the maze your curiosity trapped you in, and perhaps it never would be the time. As Ophelia said, you couldn't et entangled within Tom Riddle's web. Deeper than you already were anyway. If you had any hope of escaping and continuing down the path you were always meant to tread.
The bench scraped softly against the stone floor. The Great Hall felt too open now, too full of eyes, even if none of them truly saw you. You slipped away with practiced ease, letting louder presences swallow the space you left behind.
Classes passed in a haze.
Charms dissolved into murmurs and wand movements you copied by muscle memory alone. Even Herbology, the class that always seemed to pique your interest, failed to anchor you. Your quill moved when it was meant to, ink forming neat lines you barely remembered writing. You nodded at the right moments, turned pages when others did, and laughed when laughter was expected.
But your thoughts were elsewhere.
They lingered on the way Opheliaâs voice had dipped when she warned you. On the word she usedâdangerous. You figured she must have passed some time with Tom and his circle since she was related to one of them, but how deep into their circle was she?
During potions, your eyes couldn't help but shift toward the enigmatic figure that haunted your daydreams, the seed of the very vines that corrupted your thoughts. He was watching Slughorn as he entered one of his lectures on how potions were vital for every witch and wizard's life on the future, and you could see there was no flicker inside his pupils. No darknes. JustâŠboredom.
You sighed as your hand struggled to register the words of your professor. It was as if your mind had detached from your body, going rogue so it could run into the forbidden cavern of thoughts that, in which a shadow awaited for you with enigmatic eyes and a smirk from the devil himself.
Your eyes, though, were a servant to your rogue brain, and found the shadow hidden in the dark caverns of your mind once again.
Tom Riddle stood perfectly, as he always did, and listened to Slughorn the way a king might entertain a jester.
You forced your gaze back to your notes.
âPotions are the backbone of practical magicâ Slughorn boomed, voice warm and round. âThey teach discipline, intuitionââ
Your eyes moved again, and you noticed how Tomâs quill didnât move.
Yours, and everyone else's, did in an automatic way. Almost robotic. You wrote what was expected, even as a strange tension coiled in your chest. You stared back at your notebook, and decided to force your eyes to stay fixed where it were safe, even if your mind wasn't.
You thought of the night before, and an uneasy feeling crept its way into your stomach. You couldn't fathom what favour he would ask of you when the time came, but if the feeling inside you were to be right, it was not going to be any good. You unconsciously bit the feather of your quillâhad you just made a deal with the devil? How were you supposed to know, when he had a face of an angel and the voice of a siren?
Well, no way to back down now. Besides, you needed good grades on your NEWTS, and perhaps you could learn to make your potion skills be as half as good as Tom's. It would certainly already be a great advantage.
After classes went by, you would usually take your free time to continue your book in your dorm, drowning yourself in the comfort of solitude and lost in the words of Dostoyevsky.
But that day, by the time the sun began its slow descent, staining the windows with amber and gold, you turned away from the familiar paths.
It was a subtle, and you were sure no one would notice, because who would? Everyone preferred to read about their worlds than take their eyes off their own book and read another's. Especially one as boring as yours. But still, your pulse quickened as your feet carried you up narrow staircases you rarely used.
You counted your steps without meaning to. Not because of where you were going, but who you were going to.
Every step was one closer inside the dangerous cavern. To Tom Riddle.
The higher you climbed, the quieter it became. The murmurs of students dissolved into echoes, then into nothing at all.
When you reached the Astronomy Tower, the door was already ajar.
You hesitated only a second before pushing it open, the hinges whispering rather than creaking. The tower greeted you with open sky and wind sharp enough to bite.
A dark figure stood near the edge, back turned to you. You turned to his side, and caught the presence of two cauldrons sitting on the floor, as well as ingredients for whatever potion he might teach you today.
Tom Riddleâs figure looked carved from the night itself, like a shadow waiting ominously for its meal. He was crushing something on the wood with a knife, and you flinched when his voice boomed through the room.
âYouâre late,â he said sharply without turning.
âIâm not,â you replied quietly, closing the door behind you. âYouâre just early.â
A pause choked the air before he turned, slow and precise, dark eyes settling on you with unnerving focus. The corner of his mouth liftedânot into a smile, but something close enough to unsettle you.
âFair,â he said.
He gestured toward the space beside him before going back his ministrations. You moved there without thinking, your bag resting at your feet as the wind tugged at your robes.
âWonât we get caught?â You gulp as you tread slowly toward Tom, âI remember headmaster Dippet explicitly saying the astronomy tower was off limits this season. WithâŠGrindelwald and all.â
Tom didnât look away from the ingredients as you spoke. His hands continued their precise work, blade rising and falling in a smooth rhythm.
He was calm. Too calm. As if the prospect of getting caught never crossed his mind.
âDippet says many things,â he replied coolly. âMost of them are meant to soothe fear, not prevent danger.â
âIs that so? What about the dementors, then? I'm sure they're not roaming around Hogwarts trying to soothe fear.â
Tom stopped his movements for a brief moment, and once his head turned, your breath hitched for the faintest moment. You had forgotted how alluring, how dangerous his gaze on you was.
âDementors,â he said at last, tasting the word with quiet disdain, âare not here to protect anyone. Do you really think a powerful wizard like Grindelwald wouldn't find his way through some meek dementors?â He turned back to the table, resuming his work as if the interruption had been no more than a passing thought.
You furrowed your eyebrows, gulping down the acid that formed in your throat, âThen whyâŠ?â
Tom talked once more, and his words held a viciousness that cut through the whispering wind. âI am not here to give you a lesson in how the ministry works. I am here to make you a master in potions.â
You opened your mouthâonce, twice, but nothing came out of your throat. You couldn't form words, you couldn't form a question. You cleared your throat, and finally, your voice found its place. âJust...I'll ask again, and you need to answer meâwhat if we are caught? What will you do, then, Tom? Whatâs your grand plan to not get us in detention?â You crossed your arms, feeling your erratic heartbeat inside your chest. âOr worse, expelled.â
He finally set the knife down and turned to face you fully. Up close.
The night sharpened his featuresâhollowing his cheeks, darkening his eyes until they looked almost endless. An infinite pool one could easily drown in.
âNo one will come,â Tom said. âAnd even if they do, I am head boy. Iâm certain I could think of somethingâŠconvincing that would get us out of trouble.â
Your stomach tightened at the ease with which he said it. Head boy. He was supposed to be righteous in his position; only the best of the best students ever achieved such a high-ranking status within the school. Some students sought their whole academic lives to be where he is. And yet, here Tom was, talking of lying and utilizing his power as a means to escape as if it wereâŠnothing.
âAnd if that doesnât work?â you pressed on, hating the way your voice wavered despite your effort to keep it steady.
Tom studied you for a long moment, expression unreadable. Thenâslowlyâhe smiled.
Not kindly. Not reassuringly, butâŠ.Confidently.
âOh, it will. You can trust me.â
You scoff lightly, a small amount of courage sparking the words outside of your throat, âI don't know you, Tom.â You take a step towards him. Slowly, cautiously. âI meanâŠI know what everyone else sees, butâŠsomething tells me you're much more than what you let people see of you. It's like asking me to trust a stranger.â
âNow that's a smart observation, little witch,â Tom said softly. âIndeed, you donât know me. But you can analyze the facts. I would be faced with consequences just like youâif not moreâif we were caught inside this tower. If you go down, I go down. And do you really think I would put my position in jeopardy?â Tom raised one eyebrow, and you sighed.
He made sense, damn it.
âFine. You make sense.â You squinted your eyes, âBut I do not trust you.â
âAh, you do well in not doing so,â Tom smirked, and it was as if his eyes opened their grey fog and made way for a small spark of amusement. âYou do impress me a bit more as time goes on, little witch.â
Your breath hitched, âWhat does that even meaââ
âNow,â Tom interrupted you by swiftly turning around, his robe following him as he walked toward the part of the wooden floor where two empty cauldrons stood. He turned toward you once more. âTonight, you will brew Amortentia. But not the Hogwarts version, full of its restraints to make meek students fail.â
You furrowed your eyebrows. âAmortentia? Isn't that a 6th-year potion?â
âDo you observe everything but class?â Tom groaned as he rolled his eyes, âIf you were to put your observation skills where they really mattered, instead of worthless studentsâ lives, you would know that Slughorn has tells whenever he is explaining a quiz.â Tom grumbled, âSince NEWTS are about everything we have learned, he is trying to surprise us with a potion he knows most people have forgotten the first ingredient it takes to make it.â
You bristled. âLearning about others is not worthless.â
Tom paused mid-step. Just for a fraction of a second, but you caught it. His shoulders stilled, the air around him tightening like a held breath.
âMost are,â he corrected coolly, turning back to you. âYou just have to pick the right ones to dissect. Most of our peers live in ignoranceâthey drift through Hogwarts believing that their effort alone will make them exceptional. It wonât. I mean, do you see every student with O's or EE's on their tests?â Tom chuckles slowly, âWell, awareness gets them there. Observing the right things, you start to notice patterns, and just howâŠdeceiving tradition really is. But everyone is too busy looking over their own lives to observe the reality around them.â His eyes flicked to you pointedly. âYou have that gift, you know. But you squander it.â
Your jaw tightened, irritation bleeding into something uncomfortably close to the truth. But then, a moment of thinking, of digesting his words, your eyebrows furrowed as a crippling sensation traveled down your spine. âAnd how do you even know what I observe?â
Tomâs face never changed. No twitch. No confident, eerie smirk. He simply stared sinisterly. âIt is logical, really. Were you to observe classes, you would have noticed Slughornâs pauses. The way his voice dipped when he mentioned Amortentia, as he was listing the possible potions for the pop quiz. The way he overexplains so no one questions what he does.â
He stepped closerânot abruptly, never abruptly. You stared at him back, âAnd you never follow his explanations, do you?â
Tom grinned, and seeing his eerie smile sent an ominous feeling down your spine. âCorrect, little witch. I donât live by the confinements dictated by Hogwarts books. I make my own, and everyone one day shall know it.â You were about to ask what he meant when he then gestured toward the cauldron on the left. âCome. I shall teach you to do the same. It is my part of the deal, after all.â
You hesitated only a moment before stepping forward. The stone beneath your shoes was cold, the wind licking at your ankles as you stopped beside him. Tom pointed at the cauldron, then at the ingredients laid out with meticulous care.
âTell me what you see,â he said.
âThe ingredients for Amortentia, I suppose?â You raised one eyebrow, and Tom nodded stoically.
âCorrect. And what do you know about this potion?â
You licked your lips before clearing your throat, âIt's the most powerful love potion there is. It makes the person who drinks it fall in love withââ
âAh, youâre already wrong, little witch.â
Blood went up your cheeks as you frowned, âWhat? But thatâs the descriptionââ
âOf the 6th year potions book?â Tom sighed in disappointment, and you looked down. Somehow, even though you barely knew him, his approval sparked something inside you. And his disappointment led to a slight fog of shame sinking into your stomach.
âYouâre thinking inside the box, just like every other sheep inside this herd.â Tom walked from side to side, his hand tied behind his back. His deep voice boomed through the tower, âAmortentia isnât really a love potion, now is it? It makes the person obsessed. There is a keen difference that not many people can decipher. The potion isnât meant to create love, but obsession.â Tomâs eyes flicked to you, sharp and assessing. âDesire, passion, lustâbut not love.â He said emotionlessly, âLove is a slow, irrational surrender built over time that makes you weak. Amortentia is nothing more than an illusion of that weakness. No potion could ever imitate that raw, pathetic human feeling.â
You raised an eyebrow, âYou seem awfully well-read in love.â You smirked, âHave you ever been in love?â
Tomâs posture immediately went rigid, and he looked at you with the eyes of a snake, puncturing every inch of your soul with its fangs. âLove?â Tom repeated slowly, as if testing the shape of the words on his tongue, finding it distasteful.
âI have read about it. Not because I was fascinated by it, but because people, when under its influence, had me curious.â He said, his tone almost eerily calm. âThey grow so weak and predictable it's almost laughable. And they make that choice. They choose to be vulnerable for the whole world to stab a knife into their back.â
Tom chuckled, but no humour was laced in his voice. It was dark, so foreboding that it made your pulse want to scream. âSo, no. I have not been in love. And do not want to be in love. I am better than to let myself surrender to such pointless attachments.â
The words hung between you like frost.
âThat sounds⊠awfully lonely,â you said before you could stop yourself.
âLoneliness,â Tom huffed, âis a word invented by those who are scared of their own presence when licked by silence.â He stepped closer to the cauldron again, âNow, shall we continue, or do you want to waste our time even more with pointless questions?â
You stayed silent for a few moments and sighed. It was best not to waste your time asking questions about him, as it would only lead to dangerous paths. You had to find a way to keep your mouth shut and curiosity at bay if you wanted to come out of this deal unscathed.
Learning about the devil would only get you burned, after all.
Your gaze dropped to the ingredients laid before you: crushed rose petals, moonstone dust, and a curl of Jobberknoll feather resting beside a slender knife.
âSoâŠabout the potion. Were all the booksâall the potions we made in class wrong?â you asked.
âNot wrong,â Tom corrected. âJust incomplete. You really think they would let the ingredients for one of the most dangerous love potions out in the open for reckless teenagers to abuse them? And so, a watered-down potion creates nothing dangerous.â His mouth curved faintly. âBut I prefer accurate results, even if it means a little danger is sprinkled inside.â
The wind shifted, sweeping strands of your hair across your face. You brushed them back, stepping closer to the cauldron.
Tom moved behind youâclose enough that you felt the warmth of his presence at your back. His touch never came, instead what you felt was a ghost of skin that sent goosebumps up your spine. His hand reached past your shoulder and whispered, âIncendioâ, making a small fire start.
âFirst, you will forget what the book taught you,â he said, voice low near your ear, âNowâŠlook at the ingredients. Tell me what you see.â
You frowned, scanning the cauldron. âMoonstone shavings. Crushed roseânot petals, the stem too. Peppermint, but dried longer than usual. Powdered pearl. Ashwinder egg.â You glanced at him. âThatâs not the standardââ
âNo,â he cut in sharply. âIt isnât.â
You gulped thickly, his presence behind you overbearing to your nerves, âIâŠhow did you even get your hands on such ingredients?â
âLetâs just say I have my ways.â
âIn other words, you stole them.â You turned to him and crossed your arms. Tom immediately took a step back, as if standing too close to you for too long was poison to his skin. You frowned slightly, but masked it with the same impassive face he mastered.
âI can't understand where this false sense of morality came from, but may I remind you that I caught you sneaking around the castle past curfew? You are not innocent, and I can't fathom why you are pretending to be so right now.â
âIâŠ.â You hesitated, a small blush forming on your face, ââI had my reasons for that, Riddle.â You sneered, and he ignored the spines of your words and walked toward the other side of the cauldrons.
âI don't doubt that.â Tom hummed, âBut don't go preaching about rules on a moral high ground you clearly do not have.â
âIâŠâ You couldn't answer. Words caught in the back of your throat, and Tom simply sat down on the floor, looking up at you with the most neutral face you've ever seen.
Ah, his impassive look was back.
âNow,â he continued,â You see this?â He picked up a small jar of crushed rose stems.
âYes.â
âWhat is it?â
âRose stem,â you answered cautiously. âAndâŠthorns, I think.â
âGood.â Tom set it down, then lifted the powdered pearl. âAnd this?â
âPowdered pearl. It's used as a buffer,â you said. Youâd read once in a footnote, but your confidence faltered for a second. âForâŠconsistency?â
âNot bad.â Tomâs eyes narrowed, approving in the smallest way, and for a reason unknown to you, a foggy yet fuzzy feeling brewed in the depths of your stomach.
He then reached for the Ashwinder egg. âNow, pay close attention, little witch. This,â he said, âis where most students ruin it.â
You blinked. âWhy? Itâs just a heat component.â
âThat,â Tom corrected softly, âis what the book tells you.â
He stepped closer to the cauldron and drew his wand with smoothness. It was like him, and his wand was one. Just another part of his fingers.
The tip hovered above the fire, and the fire obeyed him, lowering its flame, as if it were his servant.
âHeat is not the point, see?â he murmured. âItâs timing.â
He set the egg beside the cauldron but didnât add it.
You frowned. âThen when do youââ
âWhen the potion asks for it,â Tom cut in, and his eyes met yours. âNot when the book does.â
âWhat? How the hell are you supposed to know that?â You snorted, âDoes the potion talk now?â
âOh, you'll know, I assure you.â Tom's dark eyes fixated on you, and he tapped the space beside him. âCome on, sit. Put your observation skills to the test. This is where you'll need it most.â
You eyed the space suspiciously, your brain recoiling at the mere thought of his suffocating company so close to yours, yet your body followed his words, addicted to their allure.
You sat right beside him, your eyes never leaving the inside of the cauldron, ignoring the presence beside you that felt like a blade against your throat.
âLook inside,â he said simply.
You did exactly that.
The potion was still, not a flciker of movement inside. You furrowed your eyebrows, trying your best
âWhat do you see?â Tom asked.
âA potion,â you replied flatly.
His gaze slid to yours. âTry again.â
You swallowed. Your eyes returned to the surface. You forced yourself to find an anomaly. Observe the potion the way you did peopleâany flicker, any small tell that would serve as a clue to deciphering this riddle.
âTheâŠconsistency is changing,â you murmured after a moment. âItâsâŠthicker than it should be.â
Tom nodded, and you continued to watch as the potion continued to change, but it was so minimal that only an observant eye could spot it. You then see a faint bubble burst, almost in slow-motion, as if the potion were asking you to feed it, and then you exclaimed, âNow. AddâŠthe ashwinder eggs?â
Tom smirked and added three ashwinder eggs to the cauldron, and the potion changed its colour to a faint purple, almost turning pink. You bit your lip, watching every change, every minimal tell, as if the potion was just another Hogwarts student you always deciphered.
You cleared your throat, âRose thornsâŠ? To make it pink?â
Tom hummed and poured the rose thorns into the cauldron, and the potion turned a strong pink, but still not the faint colour it required. âYour hesitation is pulling you back. You need to trust your words, even if you are not sure they are correct. When you have confidence, a mistake isn't an error, because no one doubts you.â
You gulped, your eyes never leaving the brewing. It shimmered again, the pink deepening, the surface tightening into something almost glass-like.
Observe.
Your eyes narrowed slightly, tracking every shift, every subtle movement, then, finally, it started turning a light pink as he stirred and stirred.
âThere. You can stop stirring.â You let out a breath you were holding and turned to a stone-faced Tom Riddle. âDid it work?â
âOnly one way to find out.â He gestured to the smoke coming out of the cauldron, âSmell it. If it smells awful, it didn't work. If it smells pleasant, wellâyou have your answer.â
You swallowed.
Then, slowly, you leaned forward.
You closed your eyes and inhaled. The smell was a breeze of curious scents, and your mouth spoke before you could even decipher what was coming out of it, âI-IâŠsmell a quillâs ink andâŠ.the smell of stones after a night of rain andâŠ.. something metallic?â
You blinked your eyes open and stared at the potion, âThat's weirdâŠI thought it was supposed to smell what attracts you? Isn't it supposed to smell like flowers or something?â
Tom glanced at your face with an eyebrow raised, âFlowers?â he repeated, voice smooth, almost amused. âIs that what you expected?â
You frowned slightly, shifting your weight. âWellâŠyes. Something like that. SomethingâŠnormal.â
Tom hummed under his breath, turning his attention briefly to the cauldron. The pink glow reflected faintly against his features, softening nothing, only making him look more unreal.
âAmortentia does not concern itself with what is normal,â he said coolly. âIt reveals what you are drawn to. Whether you understand itâŠor not.â
âMaybe I failed?â
Tom blinked, his eyes moving to stare at the smoke, âNo. You got it right. I've done it before.â
âHuh.â You hummed, âWell, what do you smell?â
Tom stays silent for a moment, tension thickening the air and almost grabbing your throat. You almost started overthinking, that maybe you shouldnât have asked him, but then he broke what he created.
âNothing.â He said cooly, his eyes fixated on the cauldron, âI smelledâŠnothing.â
âHuh? How can you not smell anything? Maybe I did do it wrongââ
Tom got up abruptly, causing you to follow suit. âOur lesson had finished, little witch. Iâll see you tomorrow. Same time.â He muttered something under his breath, and the cauldron and ingredients disappeared. And before you could open your mouth, Tom walked out so fast, you would think he apparated away.
You shook your head, startled, but those venomous vines of curiosity only grew more. It was a parasite in your brain, digging its thorns into your skin, begging you to relieve the pain by indulging in it. But you couldnât. You already watered it too much today by asking too many questions for your liking, and if you were to make it rain, a storm would pour into your life.
So, you did what you did best: you ignored it and walked toward your bedroom, ignoring intrusive thoughts that wanted to get louder for your attention.
You did your nightly routine, ignoring the chatters of your roommates, and instead of reading before sleep, you let your thoughts drift. You replicated the events of the eveningâof Tomâs dark yet alluring eyes, his instructions, his eerily curious lessons.
Until one specific memory came to mind, of Tom making the ingredients disappearâŠ.
Did he do wandless magic?!
















