the un-spillable beans

The Waves, Virginia Woolf

(From what I've learned as a tired barista)

Espresso: Cold, sleepless nights and too many thoughts matched with too little words to express them. Silver rings that clink against ceramic cups and leather journals that have started bending and fraying after constant trips in bags. One too many college emails and not enough from lovers, friends. Text messages with periods.

Americano: Burnt fingertips against a to-go and cold hands otherwise. It's justifiable -- helps to push them to move pencils against paper, strike keys on a worn-down piano on the commute to class. Baggy, cozy sweatshirts chosen over rows of formal wear in the closet -- but they still look just as sharp. Convincing yourself that a sleepless night is worth an easier month.

Caffè Latte: Yearning for comfort in a busy, blocked-in schedule. Hunting for a balance between reward over hard work and keeping with the demands of one too many classes they regret taking. Playlists upon playlists, some they forget about only to dig up later and sit with. Discomfort and disappointment in how quickly things change -- fashion, interests, hobbies they're just starting to good at -- but pushing through nonetheless.

Caramel Macchiato: Calm and practiced effort when taking on the night shift, trudging through the day to get to the peace and quiet of night. Padded headphones, an extra robe or blanket, and an unlit candle between stacks of papers -- all things to get to, but none quite sorted. Daggers framed on the walls, sharp enough to have left a small scab on their hand. Respect and divinity in all they touch and write and experience.

Flat White: Tik-tak sounds against keyboards, quick finger-cracks snuck in between paragraphs to keep going. Warm, crunchy pastries after a long day -- every crumb swept up by fingertips and discarded onto the plate. Ceilings lit up by phone notifications, stained shoelaces, and analytical eyes over articles upon articles -- people upon people.

Caffè Mocha: Lingering smells from the night before, not quite washed away by a morning shower. Still trying to figure out how exactly they should be balancing their classes -- it's the end of the first semester. They're running late but their friends know them -- bring them a coffee they couldn't get to or remind them of a lab they're missing.

White Chocolate Mocha: Classics snapped closed because they just aren't as good as the latest fiction they had their hands on. Going step-by-step, pausing even after a whirlwind of events to sort everything out and look ahead. Excitement in prom or social events -- counting down the days until the next holiday or test or party.