S/W/A

I think about how that that purple is for me.

This flag represents gay pride. When I used it, I was searching for a LGBTQIA+ image with the rainbow of the spectrum represented. This was not at all meant to say the purple in the gay pride flag was for asexuals, more just that sometimes we need to see ourselves as a part of this much larger group. I wanted to share that thought with the rainbow, but I am sorry that it may not have come out that way. This was not meant in anyway to take away from gay pride or representation. Just a moment where I didn’t think clearly enough about the picture I was using to express a thought.

I thought of something toda.

Because in addition to being ace spectrum, I’ve been alive long enough to remember what it was like when Viagra first came out, and long enough to know how this culture treats women who (for whatever reason) don’t want to have sex.

Because there’s no way a drug company that spent this much money to acquire this drug and get it approved will limit its marketing to the small population that actually needs it.

Because the next logical market segment is women who don’t necessarily want to have more sex, but who are EXPECTED to have more sex. Which is to say, women with whom men want to have sex. Do I need to explain how that can and will go horribly wrong?

Because this is already being pitched as a great thing for MEN because hey, suddenly it’s medically legit to pressure your(!) woman into taking a daily sedative so she’ll put out more. Less backtalk AND more fucking! Do we really think this isn’t going to be abused .2 seconds after it’s released?

Because this culture in general and medicine in particular values men’s desires and men’s voices over women’s, and if she says “No” and he says “Yes”, we know what usually happens next.

Because the more this drug is prescribed, the more money all parties make, and we all know what that means.

Because it makes my sexual orientation out to be a disease.

Because I will spend the rest of my life explaining, over and over, that no, I’m not like this because I’m “off my little pink pills”.

Because I will have to have The Conversation every time I switch doctors about how no, I’m not taking that fucking pill because I’m not fucking sick.

Because if I ever come out to my family as demi, the next thing out of their mouths will be about this fucking pill.

Because I am one person on a tiny budget and I can’t fight a pharm company spending millions of dollars to convince people I need to be drugged into sexual submission.

Because this drug, and the tsunami of bullshit marketing that will accompany it, will follow me around for the rest of my life (or until it turns out to have killed a large number of people, which is about the only way it’ll get withdrawn).

Maybe I would of had an increased sexual desire….for sex I don’t physically enjoy in the slightest. Like my body just never experienced any kind of pleasure from any sexual act why would I want chemically increased sexual desire for something I don’t even like?