It has been some months since I was last around. Though I am sure there is no shortage of stories as to why I was away. I have been Anturan/Richter for quite some time. The character has gone through a lot, far more than I ever expected for him and he definitely made me proud to play him. He was my fierce animalistic warrior that held his pride above all. He had troubles with love, friendships and loyalty just as we all do. But during my time playing him, no amount of struggles have made me regret a moment of it. Just as I was away for a few months, I do not transition due to fear or a wish to avoid drama. What I do I do out of a desire to better myself. It is time I allow this fine warrior to take a rest and try something new.
I made some amazing friends along this journey. The likes of which could never be replaced and all of you here on Tumblr have made playing this character all the more outstanding. I never expected to have anywhere near the amount of followers that I have. You have stuck with me through this most recent ordeal and for that you all deserve an explanation and to hear my side of the situation before I make this transition.
As most know, I was in a car accident that left me incapacitated for quite a few months. But during this process I ended up suffering an even more substantial wound. I fell for a manipulative wench that would drain my sanity, confidence, and ultimately leave me to rot. It turned out that I was nothing but an escape for her from her current situation and I was in fact nowhere near the end step on her plan for success. She took with her what pride I had left, and a great number of those I thought to be my friends. The level of betrayal that I felt could not be imagined. It broke me to the core and it took everything I had to pick myself back up. I had hit rock bottom and I had no desire at the time to even consider wanting to go on.
It is from my understanding that she returned not long after and rumors and lies about me began to reach my ears. At the time I could not care what was said about me as I didn’t much care for anything at the time. I assumed that my trying to be the bigger person and ignore the situation that I was doing the right thing. However, a good majority of those I called friends, took my silence as some sort of an admission or guilt. Thus furthering my anger at the situation.
Now, enough with the sad moments. I learned a few things from the ordeal. Things about myself, about those who stuck with me and those who left. More so, I learned how much I am worth. I picked myself up from the slump and I made it everyone. I fuckin made it. I have never been so content as I am now. I found a new field of work. Once security, I am now in the medical field and I am enjoying every minute of it. I work with Autistic children and I cannot begin to describe to you the level of accomplishment I feel going to work and making a difference. Much more than escorting drunken fools out of a club or casino. The wage is far more consistent and I come home from work each day happy, not stressed and sore.
Is this the end? On the contrary, it is a new beginning. One that I hope you will all support me on and join me as I take to stormblood by force. I will be stepping away from Anturan/Richter. He has been a joy and will always be fond memories, but coming back after so long away, I feel as though if I am to start the right way, it should definitely be with a fresh idea, a clean slate. I hope none of you hold it against me that I make this change, but if you do then I completely understand. Hell, that is one sexy Au Ra I am going to Fantasia lol. Who knows, maybe he will return in the future, but for now I am going to try something new and I hope you all enjoy it.
I will still be on Tumblr. I will simply make an alternate for the new character which I will of course link you all to. I will most definitely be staying on Balmung as it has been home to me when I didn’t have one. Of course I want to thank all of you who have stuck with me, but to be specific for those select few who pulled me back from the depths. @lavendernest @daylightandnightsky and @kireinateine for always looking out and making sure I kept my head on straight. So as this sends off the great Anturan Saijrakh, know that I am working on the new character now and will keep you all informed. It has been a wonderful ride and Anturan may be saying goodbye for now, but I am not. So I will see you all very soon. Thank you.
