for captain levi

Paying no mind to the figure revealed by closing her door, she silently pads to her makeshift kitchen and picks one of the tins in her cabinet and sets it on the counter. It remains unopened from when she liberated it from some old noble’s castle in Wall Sina.

“Here. Now, get lost.”

Unlike every time she shoos him off with his monthly tea caddy, his usually unheard footsteps follows her behind a wall of curtains into the makings of a bedroom.

She does not miss a beat and began removing wet layer after the other until she stood bare. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before.

When she’s covered with her nightgown, he finally speaks, “Your operation last week reached the higher ups.”

“Hm. I thought they’d have caught on months ago.”

“You don’t give the MP a lot to work with.” He sounds almost proud.

A twitch of her lip almost blooms into a smirk as she reaches for a towel. It’s the most words they’d spoken to each other ever since making contact last year. With the speed only she could contest, he grabs the fabric from her hand.

“Let me,” he says. She considers dropping him to the ground for invading her space.

“Sit.” He gestures to the bed and she finally looks at his face when she hears the uncertainty under his command.

Levi looks more sleep-deprived and the ever present frown on his face more prominent. No one would have noticed the difference. But none of them were her.

With a huff, she relents.

When his hands sifts hrough her hair, she immediately regrets it.

Dimmer days than the storm outside trickle through a crack in her defenses. Back when light was a commodity but her heart full as he never fails to volunteer to take care of her grooming. Back to when he’d run his fingers from the base of her skull to the tips resting at her bare behind. The moments when he would ball and tangle her hair to take them both into new heights of pleasure—

A shiver jolts her back when his fingers brushes her ear.

“That’s enough,” she hisses and grabs the towel from his hand.

For old times sake, she’d riffle through the needlessly stocked pantries of those rich bastards his tea. When she heard what had happened to Isa and Farlan, she allowed him to use her abode as a safe haven when the nightmares would come back after every expedition. She actively ignores the fact that he could have taken his supply without waiting for her to return every single time. When he needed information it was there for him to use to support the Scouts.

She would give him anything. But she will never surrender herself to him.

Never again.

“I’ll have a new tin for you next time.”

She parts the curtains.

“Leave.”

He hesitates, hands tighten into fists before he silently makes his exit. The scent of him mixed with rain is new but familiar as he walks past her, shoulders almost colliding.

Just before the curtains close, she hears him say, “Don’t get caught, Dove.”

She has half a mind to rip the heavy fabric open to see if wore the expression to match the tenderness in his voice. A scream has crawled its way to the back of her throat barred only by painfully pinching lips as she watched his shadow grow smaller. The nerve of that man to utter her once cherished name as if it hadn’t fallen from grace; a once treasured endearment decrepit to a mere criminal’s moniker.

Tears of frustration choruses with the rain. She falls to a crouch begging her own body to not betray the walls she had built over the years.

Yet as she gazes down her window, her hand reaches out to the man under his umbrella as he crosses the street—the sight of his retreating form a recurring nightmare.

“You must be Captain Levi.” A man with a white cloth over his nose and mouth met him at the top of the stairs leading to the second story of the mansion.

Levi followed through the gilded corridor, the sound of footsteps barely eclipsing the sound of his rapidly beating heart.

The room was as lavish as the rest of the building; filled with furnitures and trinkets he would never be able to afford. At the center of it all was an expansive four-poster bed and on it was a memory that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Varying colors of bruises riddled your skin. Your once bright and eager eyes that seemed to wander to unseen lands stared up at him devoid of life. Cheeks sunken and limbs so thin, his mother may as well be lying before him again.

“There are signs of abuse that can be dated to weeks back. Starvation and dehydration played their parts too but ultimately, her death was due to blood loss from the multiple stabs wounds she sustained.” The medical examiner sounded too clinical for Levi’s liking.

It felt like torture almost—to hear about how much you suffered. So, he held the urge to punch the man in the nose because Levi thought he deserved the punishment.

“We tried to quickly operate on her upon her request but we couldn’t save the child either.”

A ringing began to grow in Levi’s ears. Bile started to gather up his throat. He could barely register the words ‘escape’, ‘fight’, and ‘self-defense’ coming from the medical examiner’s mouth but it was enough to form a gruesome story that had the captain spilling his guts at the foot of the bed.

The thought of you starting the family you always wanted and he could never give you was a balm that soothed his loneliness and bitter days.

He didn’t hear the doors closing as he was left alone to drown in his retch and vicious sobs.

Hours later, a maid silently slipped a tray carrying a jug of water, a glass, and a stringed, pile of letters beside where he knelt holding your hand at the side of the bed.

When he has exhausted himself from crying, Levi helped himself to the letters—all of them were addressed to him.

He opened the one dated on the day of your wedding. Not even half-way through he drops it on the floor and shakily stands up ignoring the numbness in his knees.

For the first time since he came into the room, he spots the bundle by your side.

He strides to the opposite side of the bed, legs heavy as if he was weaving through muck. Hand seasoned with battle trembling when he reached over to pull the fabric open.

The almost translucent skin doesn’t take away from the softness of the babe. If his fingers didn’t feel the coldness of the infant’s cheeks, he would’ve mistaken it to be peacefully asleep.

Fresh tears stained the swaddle as he lifted the unmoving bundle to his chest.

Levi whispered with deep regret and longing,

After the Battle of Trost, you had no more reason to keep your hair long anymore.

Levi catches you just as you motion to slide a knife across your hair. He admonishes you for being outside after curfew but then surprises you when he offers to cut your hair.

Just before he starts to slice away, he sees the hesitation in your eyes. You talk and explain why you kept your hair long after all these years and he pretends it’s his first time hearing the story. You break down and he does a very shit job at comforting you.

“When you braid your hair in the morning, will it remind you of their deaths or will it remind you of their love?” He asked you.

The question felt like a slap to the face when you realize the moments of peace when your parents did your hair was one of the happiest memories you had of them. And like a fool, you were about to rid of the only reminder of those times.

Years later, Levi would visit you with your favorite flowers at hand after the war.

He’d apologize if he didn’t have enough fingers to braid your hair anymore. But ruminates that you wouldn’t mind;

The next day, behind the scenes pictures of Levi’s actor kneeling on set or his cast mates on wooden boxes so they could movie magic his height are posted.

There’s a recording of Erwin’s actor patting his head while he’s there kneeling with a menacing face.

There’s a 5 minute blooper real dedicated to Levi where the other actors would break character when shooting scenes with him because he looks so stupid. (Actual bloopers is an entire different video.)

He has specialized knee pads for filming.

Fans go crazy when Isayama(because in a perfect world he’ll be directing this shit) confirms that Levi would actually be almost as tall as his actor if he didn’t grow up malnourished and lacking vitamin D.

Vogue puts him on the cover and he’s kneeling in the photo(but in a seductive way).

When asked in interviews if it was a challenge to be kneeling all the time while filming, he jokingly answers “I’ve had a lot of practice.” ISTG THIS MAAAAAAAAN

EVERYONE AND THEIR GAY UNCLE ARE JEALOUS OF THIS MAN’S WIFE. (ofc this hunk is married with 2 kids *cough* dilf *cough*)

This man has no idea what a meme is à la CM style.