the world is better backwards

I’m listening.

the oldest millennials are 35. We’re also eligible for the Senate and the White House too. 

“given my understanding of linear time” 

The alternative is electing dead people, I presume.

Imagine going to a community college for years, hoping to score a job in the games industry. You learn code, 3D modeling, physics, and more after so much time, get a bachelor’s, and get hired by Rockstar games. Time passes, and your manager says “Yeah you can leave home early, if you scuplt realistic testicles on our horses. Give them realistic physics, make them react to the weather, give these horses testicles right now Jerry!”

you come into my house, you disrespect my fine dwarven crafts, direct from orzammar. you won’t find better

More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

I want to expound upon “comedians couldn’t get married” thing because it’s actually really interesting. Satire was respected in Ancient Ireland. It was thought to have great power, enough to physically maim the subject one was making jokes about. Satirists could bring down kings with a witty enough insult. That was actually their original function. When the king didn’t do right by his people, a bard was supposed to compose a poem so scathing it would raise welts on the king’s skin to oust him (it was illegal for a “blemished” king to rule.) Unwarranted satire was considered a form of assault. So what it boils down to is ancient Celts being like “These people are too dangerous to reproduce. DO NOT TRUST THEM WITH CHILDREN. EVER.”

whats a king to a bard

Thats literally a dnd skill

Vicious mockery at sixth level

Bring back the phase of society where having your tiddies all the way out was fine but showing ankle flesh was scandalous

i know this is aiming at 17. and 18. and 19. century fashion, but i really wanna bring back those dresses that only basically start under the boobs, like that little number Minoan snake goddess figurine is wearing

titties out, snakes up, she’s ready 2 go

I am forcibly removed from the historical narrative