jjk men when you’re sick and sent a thermometer photo thinking it’s a pregnancy test.

various!characters, smau, classified as safe for work but with caution of dirty jokes & mature language, crackfic, ngl non-canon reactions (other than choso tbh), modern!au.

>> 𝓬hoso extra drabble

exbf!toji headcannons ᜊ𐔌๑ ´ ˔ ` ꒱੭

exbf!toji who still has a key to your apartment and uses it at 2 AM, letting himself in like he owns the place. 

you’re half-asleep on the couch when you hear the door click, and you sit up just as he steps into the living room, his frame filling the doorway.

"toji, what the hell are you doing here?" you hiss, pulling your blanket tighter around you. he shrugs, tossing his jacket onto the chair like he still lives there. 

"missed you. figured you missed me too." 

"i don’t," you lie, but your voice cracks, and he grins like he’s already won. 

"yeah? then why you still lettin’ me in, baby?"

exbf!toji who has no job, no money, and no shame about asking you for either. he’s leaning against your kitchen counter, arms crossed, watching you make coffee like he’s got all the time in the world. "you got twenty bucks? just till friday." 

you scoff, not even turning around. "toji, i’m not your fucking atm." 

he steps up behind you, his hands sliding around your waist, his mouth brushing your ear. "c’mon, baby. i’ll make it worth your while. you know i always do." 

you hate how your body reacts, how heat pools low in your belly at the promise in his voice. "you’re such a bum," you mutter, but you’re already reaching for your wallet.

exbf!toji who fucks you like it’s the only thing he’s good at, because it probably is. 

he’s got you bent over your kitchen table, your cheek pressed against the wood, his hand fisted in your hair. 

"fuck, you’re tight," he groans, his hips snapping forward, driving into you so deep you see stars. "missed this pussy. missed how you squeeze me." 

you’re moaning, your fingers gripping the edge of the table, and you hate yourself for how good it feels. "t-toji—fuck—slow downnnn!—" 

"nah," he pants, his free hand gripping your hip hard enough to bruise. "you like it fast. you like it rough. don’t lie to me, baby. i know you better than that."

exbf!toji who still knows exactly how to touch you, like your body never forgot him. 

𓏲ּ𝄢 𓂃 𓈒 ˖ kento covers himself while eating u out . . ꒰ １８+ ꒱

kento is the biggest munch you've ever been with! he'll eat it for breakfast, lunch, & dinner if he could（and trust me, he absolutely tries to !）

but there's one little peculiar thing he always does . .

he always covers himself with a blanket over him while his face is buried deep in your sweet core. when he did it the first time you two ever got intimate, you just thought it was something he did out of respect for you and you wouldn't put it past him to do something like that so you let it be.

as time went on though, he continued doing this and so you couldn't help wonder why. so today you decide to find out just that.

while he's ever so sweetly lapping at your slicked folds, you very slowly lift up the blanket and peek in to see your beloved. he doesn't seem to notice at first since you're still letting out those cute whimpers of yours. but then, he soon hears a soft giggle from you and that makes his eyes shoot up to look at you.

and gosh, he looks so goddamn cute & sexy at the same time — so greedily suckling on your puffy clit and stretching you out with those thick fingers of his, it's like he's completely lost in the moment. then . . his eyes flit up to meet yours whose peaking so adorably with that pretty smile on your face.

kento stops like he'd just been caught doing something naughty（technically he had been!）and then his entire face flushes a shade of pink, smushing his cheek to your inner thigh. you'd never seen him get flustered like this & you genuinely feel your heart do flips at how cute he looks.

"honey . ." he mutters, squishing his face even more into the plush of your thighs. ". . what are you doing?"

"just looking at my lovely boyfriend." you muse, running your fingers through his hair. "because he's always hiding himself when he's eating me out."

the flush on his face gets darker as he lets out a tiny groan, embarrassed & bashful. ". . i just get shy about it, sweetheart. i don't know why but i just do."

your heart flutters at his adorable admission, and with that, you lower the blanket back down & you can hear kento hum in delight as he dives right back in to devouring you ❤︎ !

asking them if they've ever...you know... ft. stoner!sugawara, enemies to lovers!kita, loser!kuroo, and bully!osamu