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basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg
today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet.
he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years.
Icon.
don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him
Hey quick question what the fuck
the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is
victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years
RATING: 🟨 MOSTLY RELIABLE 🟨
Many articles make similar claims to those above. However, much of this information circulates without a clear source, and I have struggled to find reputable/high level sources for some of this information. Therefore, keep in mind that some of this may be exaggerated or potentially unreliable.
Obviously, I cannot account for the sexual of history of every human who has ever lived, but evidence does suggest that Victor Hugo had a… lively sex life.
From Medium: ‘Sex was so involved in Hugo’s daily life that one biographer wrote the following while describing a typical day in Hugo’s life:
“It was not unusual for him to make love to a young prostitute in the morning, an actress before lunch, a courtesan as an aperitif, and then join the also indefatigable Juliette for a night of sex.”
[…] Hugo claimed that on the wedding night, he and his wife had sex nine times.’
His encoded sex diary is referenced on Wikipedia, but when I found an English translation of the source, I couldn’t find where in it they were sourcing.
From Wikipedia: ‘He systematically reported his casual affairs using his own code, as Samuel Pepys did, to make sure they would remain secret.’
The source is listed as: 'Hugo, Victor, Choses vues 1870–1885, p. 529, ISBN 2070361411, pp. 371, 521 (n. 1).’
I’ve found Choses Vues here in the original French and here translated into English. If anyone can find anything in here about the encoded sex diary, please let me know!
His 'official mistress’ is likely in reference to Juliette Drouet.
From EBSCO: 'Since 1833, Hugo had maintained a liaison with a beautiful female actor, Juliette Drouet, who for twelve years followed a cloistered existence relieved only by six-week summer holidays with her lover.’
His 'unofficial mistress’ is likely in reference to Léonie d’Aunet Biard.
From The Common Reader: 'Overlapping was a seven-year affair with travel writer and Arctic explorer Léonie d’Aunet Biard, whose husband finally brought a police officer to the Paris hotel and caught them in flagrante.’
I have found articles that circulate the '200’ claim, but none that give a source for the information.
From Medium: 'Not only that but he bedded 200 women in this hotel in just two years.’
The claim that brothels were closed on the day of his funeral is again circulated frequently without claim. The only sourced part of the claim I can find is a second hand report that sex workers had 'draped their gentials in black crepe’.
From The Guardian: ’[…] when Hugo died the brothels of Paris closed down for a day of mourning, allowing all the city’s sex workers to pay their last respects to a loyal client. Literary critic Edmond de Goncourt claimed a police officer told him that sex workers even draped their genitals in black crepe as a mark of respect.’
And an estimated 2 million people attended his funeral procession.
From Funeral Conflicts in Nineteenth-Century France: 'Two million people came to see Hugo’s body lying in state at the Arc de Triomphe’
He’s now been dead for 141 years, although 133 was correct at the time of posting. How slutty those years are… I couldn’t say.
UPDATE
Thanks to @dodger-chan for adding some new information on the source for the encoded sex diary! Apparently the versions I found were earlier editions, and it is the more complete 1972 edition that is the source.
If any French speakers are able to find the 1972 edition and check whether his Wikipedia page is correct about his diary, please get in contact.
I didn't have hunter biden being the funniest person on twitter in 2026 on my bingo card yet here we are
it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible
and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

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basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg
A woman not shaving or wearing a dress or wearing makeup or wearing femme clothes or having styled or long hair or caring how she looks or using a masc name or whatever else is actually a neutral thing and not a sign of her being depressed or giving up or being sad or whatever
being a teenager is basically just half a decade of "ugh I hate myself I hate my life I hate my parents nothing is fair everyone is mean the world is cruel I'm tired of it!! but idk i guess every teenager has this phase and I'll probably grow out of it and understand when I'm older" and getting older and realizing you should have been even angrier and more violent. And then people forget this as soon as they have kids
I feel like Squidward is the type of gay man who sexually imprinted on an unrequited crush in his teens and has been chasing it's shadow ever since. Sexually speaking I think it would be difficult for him to be present. It's not that he has trouble being vulnerable, I think he's a vulnerable if tense lover. Like whenever he sleeps with somebody new he can only see them when measured against an ideal he won't allow himself to fully comprehend. Because if he ever looks at it head on, he knows it will never happen perfectly. Like, he has a hard time indulging in his partners fantasies, especially when it clashes with the semiconscious image in his head. So the sex is pleasant but tense and distant.
It wasn't Squilliam. It was some other person that moved schools and vanished before the advent of social media. Squilliam was the NEXT uncomfortable crush, but it formed around the unresolved feelings from the first crush, which is part of why he's feels so bitter towards Squilliam.

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complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich
I would have said clit if I was her
you keep your clitoris in a plastic bag?
I fed your talkfruit to my messagepig sorry

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I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually