When Did Smut Turn Into My Bedtime Story?: an autobiography by me
YOU ARE THE REASON
trying on a metaphor
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Misplaced Lens Cap

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Kaledo Art

Product Placement

#extradirty
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@simplydrarry
When Did Smut Turn Into My Bedtime Story?: an autobiography by me

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fake boyfriends drarry??
TheGentlewizard Club (@sophiefrench77, 28k): Draco isdetermined to become a member of an elite Wizarding society, and asks Harry topose as his boyfriend to help ingratiate him to the members.
InWhich Harry is Magnetic North and Draco is an Idiot (bryoneybrynn,14k): Harry and Draco have been working together for months, and are shocked to find that they actually get along. So when Draconeeds a fake date to bring to his parents’ ball who will both shock them andstymie their attempts to set him up with eligible witches, it seems onlylogical to bring Harry.
AConvenient Impracticality (firethesound, 39k): After spendingalmost a year as “secret ex-nemeses-with-benefits,” Harry and Draco decide tostop seeing each other. However, when their friends insist on setting them up on bad dateafter bad date, they decide to pretend to date, with the hope of getting theirfriends off their backs.
BadFaith in Name, But Gracious in Nature (megyal, 13k): In exchange for an oldMalfoy volume that contains the cure to an illness that’s been plaguing theWizarding nation, Draco asks Harry to pretend to be his boyfriend to curryfavor with the public.
DateBlindness (Cheryl Dyson, 24k): After their friends set them up on ablind date, Harry and Draco agree to stage a fake relationship for the sake ofthe press, thereby allowing Harry to officially come out.
Decoy Dilemma(Cheryl Dyson, 39k): Someone threatens Scorpius and Albus, so Harry andDraco hide their kids at Grimmauld Place and then impersonate them at Hogwarts, so noone will suspect they’re missing. Little do they know that Scorpius and Al havebeen dating for three years, forcing Harry and Draco to have to pretend to beboyfriends.
TheVenice Job (nishizono, 26k): Harry and Draco are Auror partners, andKingsley sends them to Venice to pose as a couple while they try to catch a pair ofbank robbers.
Make It Good (Fr333bird, 9k): Aurors Harry andDraco are asked to go uncover at a brothel. Little do they know that part ofthe hiring process requires a live show.
Dragon Tamer (jennavere, 30k): To avoid his father’s ill-fated attempts to marry him off to a respectable pureblood bride, Draco asks Harry to pretend to be his boyfriend. This fic is absolutely ridiculous (in the best possible way), and includes Draco Lucius Malfoy III, lots of fun sex games, and being shagged silly.
I will go down with this trope.
The day Draco was saved
Harry: That’s ridiculous. Draco doesn’t have a crush on me.
Ron & Hermione: yes he does
Pansy: yes he does
Lucius Malfoy: yes he does
Draco: yes i do
i can’t believe friday, september 1, 2017, is nineteen years later. the last scene in the harry potter books.
this is it.

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this brings a whole new vision
YURIO CAN NEVER A CATCH A BREATH NOT EVEN IN THE DRAMA STAGE
Post-Auror Training Harry anyone?
oh my god yes pls
I couldn’t help it @drarry-thedifferencebetween @parseltonquinq, the drabble took on a life of its own!
In hindsight, Draco really should’ve expected to bump into Potter within the Ministry at some point. What he definitely hadn’t expected was to bump into a shirtless Potter while passing through gym on his way to drop off some documents to the Wizengamot’s chambers.
And Potter wasn’t just shirtless, he was incredibly fit and, most importantly, tattooed.
Draco could only stare helplessly as Potter wiped a towel across his neck, capturing the sweat trickling down his toned chest and back. No longer was Potter the scrawny, knobbly-kneed boy he used to torment at Hogwarts. Now, Potter was truly the definition of a man–a man with abs that were just begging to be licked and thick, muscular arms that looked like they could easily pick Draco up and pin him against the wall, trapping him as Potter was free to do whatever he wanted–
“Malfoy? What’re you doing here?” Potter asked, blinking innocently up at Draco like he wasn’t aware that he looked like a walking wet dream.
Draco gulped and surreptitiously wiped his mouth, just in case he’d been drooling. “Er, nothing,” he answered. “I was–I was just on my way to drop these off.” He held up the documents in front of his chest like they were a shield, even as his mind kept screaming, “Oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck, abort mission, ABORT MISSION.”
Potter stood up and–oh Merlin, his pectorals actually rippled–Draco could now clearly see a bulge in the crotch area of his trousers because of-fucking-course Potter was hung as well, as if Draco didn’t need another reminder that his school crush was now hotter than Adonis.
He just barely reigned in a squeak when he realized Potter was now standing less than a foot in front of him, hefting the documents in his arms. “This seems pretty heavy. Do you want any help with that?”
Well, you could certainly help me out with something, Draco’s traitorous mind piped up.
A few seconds passed before he realized he was still staring at Potter while he was inspecting the documents.
“N-No!” Draco swiped them back, shuddering when his fingers brushed against Potter’s warm, warm skin. Merlin, why couldn’t Potter have turned out to be an average bloke like the rest of his Gryffindor friends? “Uh, I mean, thanks for offering but it’s alright. I can handle it.”
“If you’re sure,” said Potter, giving Draco an amused smile.
Draco’s knees began to shake.
“Well, um, it was nice bumping into you Potter. Must get going,” he stammered, already whirling around and making his way towards the door before he’d even finished his sentence.
“Yeah, see you around, Malfoy!” Potter called out as Draco practically ran out of the gym.
As soon as Draco thought he was a safe enough distance away, he leaned against the wall and panted. Bloody hell, he just knew he was going to wank himself raw for the next week.
As he straightened up and continued down the hall, his eyes caught sight of a memo sticking out from the top of one of the documents. It hadn’t been there when he’d picked them up.
He stopped and pulled the memo out, nearly dropping the documents as he read it.
“You’re cute when you blush. Let me buy you a drink at the Leaky tonight.”
Draco suddenly couldn’t wait for the end of the day.
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I NEED MORE ON IT STAT. Harry’s so hot and despite Draco being flustered, I can’t say I feel sorry for him ;))
*pterodactyl screech* I lived through every word of this ficlet. And now I should probably bathe in holy water.
Adorable! Love it!!
Anyone like me thinks the tattoo on the arm could be Lily?
@creole-toile maybe this could be a new inspiration.
YES YES GIVE ME 100K OF SUPERFIT!HARRY THANK U THIS IS AMAZING
Dead
Oh wow…. ok….. Breathe… Breathe Maia, breathe.
I’ve been dipping in and out of a beautiful Drarry fic over the past couple of weeks, Any Instrument by @dictacontrion The scene above really stuck with me. It was so gentle and full of care and laden with such exquisite detail.
Read it!!! http://archiveofourown.org/works/5403371/chapters/12482513
In need of some ambient noise?
I have found some Harry Potter inspired ambient noise mixes
Hufflepuff common room
Slytherin common room
Gryffindor common room
Ravenclaw common room
General Harry Potter
I didn’t know I needed this in my life but I really, really did.

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DO NOT REPOST From this post! Credits to them for the original idea Tfw when your mom’s timing is horrible and she catches you with your hand in the cookie jar (or better, under your bf’s shirt, lol)
‘if i kiss it, will it turn into harry?’ little draco wonders.
Harry’s Journal
April 28
Took this picture of Draco the other morning. His bedhead is somehow both absolutely adorable and incredibly sexy, so how could I resist? Clearly he wasn’t too happy with me for taking it, but I made it up to him with kisses and a big breakfast with all his favorites. Let’s just hope he doesn’t find this journal, I don’t think he would be too happy about that.
Ron Weasley thinking that it was him Draco had a crush on.
Ron Weasley inviting Draco out with him, Harry, and Hermione once.
Ron realizing after the third outing to Hogsmeade that their trio had now turned into a quartet.
Ron looking over at Draco with wide eyes as he felt soft fingers brush up against his own.
Ron laying awake at night wondering how to nicely tell Draco that he wasn’t gay.
Ron trying to bring up his relationship with Hermione, only to have Draco ask about his relationship with Harry.
And he cringes because no- no- he and Harry aren’t together.
Panic rises when he saw Draco sigh in relief because-
Oh no, now he thinks I’m single and he’s going to ask me out.
Ron Weasley bursting through the door of his dormitory and running over to Harry.
“He fancies me, mate! What do I do! Hermione’ll kill me!”
Harry frowns because what about the secret hand holding underneath the table?
And what about the small smiles and soft blushes that spread across Draco’s cheeks when Harry looked at him?
Had that all been a misinterpretation?
Ron Weasley, a stumbling, stuttering mess, going up to Draco to tell him that he was, in fact, straight and in a relationship with Hermione.
Only to be enraged when Draco tilts his head back and laughs loudly at the confession because
“I know you’re not gay, you big oaf.”
“Then why’re you always hanging around with me and Harry! You’re always with us! If It’s not me then-!”
Oh. Oh. It’s not him, it’s Harry.
Ron Weasley turning beet red and sitting down because this was not what he was expecting.
More of my Writing
Draco finally gets his handshake :’)
i’ve had this idea in my head for literal months and was too lazy to do it until i had 4 final projects to complete, obviously

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i was going to caption this with “these boys need to hug each other”, but then i remembered that they DID hug each other and it was too sweet for me to handle
Draco: *takes off his boxers while sporting an erection*
Harry: well, out of all the times you've had me at wandpoint, this one takes the cake.