Caviar and Cigarettes

Heal. Your. F***ing. Self. 

Why are women in this community so obsessed with quick fixes??? You all want me to tell you the magic words to seduce a rich man, but don’t ask me how to heal yourselves?

You all can DM me about how to get a rich man to spoil you, but can’t take a moment to love yourselves?

You all can hop on that d*** and do a little plié on that d*** for some 2 for $20 dinner, but can’t invest in your OWN energy, value, and self worth?

You want to know where to begin on your journey? Begin with your damn self. 

It’s not just a physical level up– it’s a mental one too. The hypergamous lifestyle is not simple. It’s a wonderful lifestyle, but work and effort is required. Even once you are married, you are not off the hook. This is a LIFESTYLE. IT’S FOR LIFE. Either commit to the lifestyle fully, or go split bills with your “Kang”! 

HEAL

🌟 Stop Being Dickmatized: If you’re reading this and laying up with a dusty, stop reading this. Do not pass go. You played yourself. 🤡🤡🤡

🌟 Eliminate Desperation: You cannot be a hypergamous woman if you are desperate. Hypergamous women are not desperate. We aren’t desperate for money, we are desperate for love, we aren’t desperate for approval– we aren’t desperate for ANYTHING. Desperation will lead to you being USED by men. If you’re in desperate need of money, fix your finances first. If you are bored and lonely, you don’t need a boyfriend, you need to go read a f***ing book and your ass needs to study hypergamy harder.

🌟 Protect Your Space. If your environment is dangerous, toxic, or abusive– focus on changing this. You cannot be the best version of yourself if you are in a bad place. You really think you can properly heal while constantly being re-traumatized??? Make it make sense!

Imagine studying for an exam in the middle of a party while drunk: It’s not happening.  It’s a fantasy, wake up, b****!

🌟 Look Within. Whatever traumas you have endured, you cannot hide from them anymore. Take a moment this evening to reflect on your past. Reflect on the happiness. Reflect on the pain. Reflect on those who have hurt you, and how/why it hurt you. As you do this, comfort and validate your inner child as well as your present self. Allow yourself to experience these negative feelings, and comfort yourself with loving care. 

🌟 Self Care. Seek therapy, join meditation classes, enroll in painting classes, take a warm bath, eat your favorite food– Take care of yourself. This should be done daily. There is no excuse.

🌟 Be Selfish. Ladies, you need to put yourself FIRST. Preserve your energy, not everyone deserves you. Protect and respect your body, not everyone should have access to it. Your time is priceless, not just anyone can have it. If you don’t take care of you, tell me who will? These people out here will use and abuse you if given the chance. 

The most important lesson in hypergamy has nothing to do with social climbing skills or attracting men. It has to do with you and your essence. 

My travel SD found my SA profile and sent me an angry email asking if I was spending “his” money on clothes for other dudes. This is how I responded. He’s the passionate, lookin’ for love type so I match his tone. He came back offering to switch to monthly allowance and to pay my tuition. Watch and learn xxo

Dear —-,

I wanted to replace the blue dress with something form fitting, since that’s what you like and most of my wardrobe is loose and shapeless. As for the photos, it saddens me to think that you would doubt whether those were for you. But I don’t think explanations really do much to ease feelings of jealousy. 

I am open to the option of exclusivity. There isn’t anyone else, and I would be happy to end my search for further financial support. It didn’t occur to me as a possibility, given that you support a whole family. 

There are some things I would like to draw to your attention about my commitment to our relationship. Each time we go away, I lie to my parents about where I am. This may seem insignificant but it makes me sad, anxious, and uncomfortable for several reasons, particularly because they are not in good health. In November my shifts at work were cut back because I had been asking for too much time off. When I came back from our trip to San Fransisco I was told they had hired someone in my place because it was evident that I didn’t “need” the job. I’ve also been experiencing some degree of loneliness the past few months. You have never before made it seem like it would be an issue if I had a “normal” boyfriend, but our arrangement precludes that possibility. I take no issue with your infidelity. In fact I have a lot of compassion for your situation. But for myself, I am not comfortable pursuing even casual relationships without being honest about my dating situation. Which means I do not date at all.

I haven’t discussed these things with you up until now because, quite simply, they are not your problems. They are consequences of decisions I’ve made. I didn’t want to make them “our” problems, because I think part of what makes our time together so incredible is the amount of freedom and acceptance that we give each other. However, had I better anticipated the personal and financial risks associated with being with your travel companion, I would have asked for a more generous gift structure. Make no mistake, you have given me so many experiences that I treasure deeply. But like any kind of “secret” relationship, no matter how passionate and loving, it comes with an aspect of burden.  

I can understand the insecurity you’re feeling but I feel unappreciated when you talk like this. I like to think you see some strength of character in me, as I see in you. I care deeply about you ——-. I’m not sure if what we need is better communication, to change the structure of our arrangement, or a combination of both. Tell me what you think you need. I hope we can work this out.

Love,

– 

🐍❤️

*I asked for $3K in compensation for losing my job and he obliged 

** I might be a literal genius