carolvalkyrie owns my entire ass

Little dragons on a park bench for today's sketch. Was imagining them like seagulls, crows, pigeons, etc-checking to see if people left any little snacks behind to clean up

There have been many speculations about what the future holds for Dean Winchester and Castiel as the end of Supernatural approaches. For the past eleven years, the Destiel relationship has been explored, although it has unfortunately been used as a way to queerbait LGBTQ+ audiences. Despite the subtext and the countless romantic tropes present between these two characters, they have not yet been established as a canon relationship on the show. However, the fifteenth and final season has built a storyline centered around Destiel and the very likely chance that they will become canon ⁠— specifically in the ninth episode. In this essay I will focus primarily on the impact the Destiel relationship has had on Dean’s character development, and why I believe Dean will finally admit his feelings for Cas in 15x09.

Dean has never been known for being the best at expressing his feelings. He has said the words “I love you” only twice on the show (to my immediate knowledge), and both of these moments occurred in the much later seasons. In the season 12 finale, when confronting his mom, Dean’s “I love you” follows an emotional exclamation of the words “I hate you”. He hates his mom for leaving him and making his life miserable, but he loves her because he can’t help it. Meanwhile, in season 14, Dean tells Sam “I love you for trying” when Sam attempts to find a different solution to the Michael problem. We as viewers know Dean loves his little brother, but the fact that it took him fourteen seasons to admit those words out loud conveys how difficult it is for him to grasp the concept of love. However, back in season 8, a discarded version of the script for 8x17 has Dean saying “I love you” to Cas during the scene where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi, is beating Dean up. This would have been the first time on the show that Dean said these words to anyone; however, Jensen disagreed with that part of the script and had it changed. He knew his character well enough to realize that, at that point in Dean’s story, he was not ready to utter those three words to anyone. However, the fact that the writers even considered having Dean tell Cas he loves him is proof that Cas has been a primary factor in helping Dean realize that it’s okay to let his walls down and express his love for other people. Castiel has, in many ways, offered his own love to Dean over the years, a love that Dean hasn’t ever known. All his life, Dean has either been hurt or abandoned by the people he has admitted to loving. His mother, Mary, severely hurt him and left a wound that is still healing ⁠— yes, he loves her, but he explicitly stated that he hates her, too. We never heard Dean say he loves his father, though if he loves one emotionally toxic parent because he can’t help it, we can assume he loves John for the same reason. Meanwhile, Dean’s love for his brother is definitely strong ⁠— he’s made deals to bring him back from the dead, and so on ⁠— and while that love has been reciprocated, Sam has never loved him quite as much. In 5x16, Dean learns that Sam’s personal heaven was the day he left for Stanford, which was Dean’s own personal hell. Dean has always pulled countless strings to save Sam’s life, but when Dean was trapped in Purgatory in season 8, Sam didn’t even consider trying to find a way to bring him back. The list goes on. This isn’t to say that Sam doesn’t love his brother; it just further proves my point that Dean has never felt the same love from the people he gives it to ⁠— at least, not from his immediate family. Castiel is another story. Cas has shown love to Dean in many ways, ways that can easily be defined as healthy, pure, unconditional, etc. He “hunted, rebelled, and [he] did it, all of it, for [Dean]”; he refused to leave Dean when the Mark of Cain was turning him evil; he gave up an entire army for Dean; he always comes when Dean calls to help him in his time of need; he “gripped [him] tight and raised [him] from perdition”. The list goes on and on. The point I’m making here is that, while Dean’s character has slowly been developing in the sense that he’s learning to let himself love people, he always ends up getting hurt in the end. Cas was the one who never hurt him. This brings us, finally, to the premise of their relationship in season 15. Dean is holding a grudge against Cas and closed himself off, which ultimately drove Cas away in 15x03. However, when we watch Dean blame Cas for Mary’s death, I believe we’re only seeing the surface of what’s really going on Dean’s head. Jensen even addressed this at his panel with Misha at DCCon, when he stated that there will be an answer to the question of why Dean is treating Cas so horribly in 15x09. He says, “Dean has a moment by himself where he prays to Cas, and it’s a bit of a confession on why he feels the way he feels and why he’s treating Cas the way he treated him.” This spoiler alone is loaded with so much material that hints towards Destiel becoming canon, and I will address all of it shortly.

As soon as season 15 premiered, you, me, and all the other fans of this show knew we’d be in for a wild ride. With Jack dying at the end of season 14 and Chuck unleashing an apocalypse of ghosts on the world, we all had a feeling that the plot would center around Sam and Dean fighting ghosts like old times ⁠— taking the show back to the basics, per say. This was a fear I had, especially when one of the first trailers for the season featured Dean saying to Sam, “You and me against every soul in Hell? I like those odds.” However, right off the bat, we see in 15x01 that the brotherly relationship is not intended to be the primary focus of the season. It’ll definitely be a huge aspect, as it always is, but there are many other themes that outweigh the brotherly relationship and are becoming much more present in the final season. All of these themes connect back to Destiel in one way or another. The first one is “Family don’t end in blood”, a memorable quote that originated from Dean’s father figure, Bobby. The most important people in Sam and Dean’s life so far do not share their blood, but the boys consider them family. As this essay is focused on analyzing Dean’s character, I’m going to mention a few family members who don’t end in blood for Dean, specifically. The first is Bobby, of course, who is still a primary father figure in his life, despite being deceased since season 7. The second is Jody, who is the most maternal figure in Dean’s life and was once referred to as Dean’s mom over Mary. Another is Charlie, who was extremely important to Dean and, as he said, “the sister [he] never wanted” (jokingly, of course). Seasons 12 through 14 partly stripped away the “family don’t end in blood theme”, especially with Mary returning and the episode where Dean got to have closure with John. At the same time, Jack became like a son to Dean. Dean even says “he was our kid” when referencing Jack after his death in 15x01. So, even though Supernatural seemed to forget about “family don’t end in blood” for a while, it seems like the writers are returning to that theme in season 15. Cas, of course, is a huge part of this. He leaves in 15x03 because Sam and Dean “have each other”. This is heartbreaking to hear Cas say because, despite everything, Dean has always made it a point to tell Cas that he’s family (some of the prime examples being 8x17 and 11x23). However, it’s interesting to note that Dean forgave Jack at the end of season 14 for killing Mary, because he considers Jack family; meanwhile, Dean is still holding a grudge against Cas, even though Cas wasn’t the one who killed her. Not to mention Dean only knew Jack for a couple of years, while he’s known Cas for eleven ⁠— and still, for some reason, what Cas did was unforgivable. It’s extremely difficult from an audience viewpoint to understand why Dean is so unwilling to forgive Cas after everything they’ve been through, even though we know he considers Cas family. And that’s just the thing. Cas is more than family. That’s why Dean is closing himself off, because after everything revealed at the end of season 14, it’s easier for him to stay angry with Cas, the man he loves, than to face the truth that Chuck made known to them: “Nothing about [their] lives is real.” The “we are” scene in 15x02 clarified Dean’s fears about the Chuck situation. He believes nothing about his life has ever mattered, because Chuck designed every aspect of his life. Why, then, is he only choosing to project this anger onto Cas? Dean believes the fact that he saves people for a living doesn’t matter, yet he’s still saving them; he’s still fighting the good fight. He probably believes Rowena’s sacrifice doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, yet he mourns her death and feels terrible after she dies. Despite feeling this way, he still shows kindness to Sam, to Rowena, to Ketch ⁠— to everyone but Cas. The only reason for this that makes sense to me is the heartbrokenness Dean feels upon realizing that he and Cas were never real. He can bear the thought of his relationship with his brother being fake all along, but when it comes to Cas? The angel who pulled him out of Hell and the only one who has ever shown him what love truly looks like? If none of that was ever real, I can imagine why Dean feels the way he does. That doesn’t validate the way he’s treating Cas by any means, but knowing Dean, I understand. This man has always been closed off. When he finally opens himself up to the possibility of love thanks to Cas, only to have a fear instilled in him that none of it ever mattered, I understand how terrifying and heart-wrenching that is for him. I understand why it’d be easier for him to be angry at Cas and to push him away. And he wouldn’t do this if he just saw Cas as his brother ⁠— because he’s not even pushing his own brother away, and we know how close Sam and Dean are. No, he’s pushing Cas away because Cas matters to him in a way that is unparalleled. 

WE NEED YOUR HELP, THE POLICE AND THE MILITARY IS ON THE STREETS AND KILLING. OUR MEDIA AIN’T SHOWING SHIT, PEOPLE ARE BEING MURDERED AND ABUSED, WOMAN ARE BEING RAPED, PEOPLE ARE MISSING.

I’m not well spoken and my English is not perfect, but I’m speaking from the heart. When prices for our public transport raised once more people started to “evade”. This became a massive action, and police was sent to close the entrance of the subways and answer as they would see fit. But this is not about the subway fare, we’ve been enduring a lot of bs, and we’ve been silent this whole time. We don’t get paid enough to pay for our health, for our education, our public transport, for our water (our water is privately owned!!!) and electricity. And it seems it’s never expensive enough. So this is not just about the damn subway fare. Our president declared state of emergency, then set on a curfew, released the military to the streets and now he says “WE ARE AT WAR”. We’ve caught Police burning subway stations, buses, and causing property damage in order to blame it on us. tv is staging situations. We’ve seen police using drugs, beating up kids, killing dogs, shooting, and running over people. I can hear a f*cking helicopter and the firefighters as I type this.

THIS IS THE COPS BEATING A KID (message me for the link)

THE COPS DOING DRUGS.

AGAIN USING FORCE AGAINST KIDS.

I ASK FROM MY HEART, ALL WE NEED FROM YOU IS TO SHARE THIS, WE DESPERATELY NEED TO BE SEEN AND HEARD FROM OTHER COUNTRIES. PLEASE SHARE. IF TV ISN’T SHOWING HOW THEY KILL OUR PEOPLE AND BEAT OUR KIDS THEN DON’T BELIEVE IT. I INSIST ON ONE THING: PEOPLE ARE BEING KILLED. There are videos as proof to everything I’ve said, I don’t want this post to be taken down (the videos are graphic) you can go ahead and search #CHILE on Instagram, people are recording everything but a lot of videos had been taken down. 

It would be something like this

Ted is bi. He dates both women and men, but tends to get more serious with women - his (entirely false & rooted-in-heteronormativity) belief is that he can’t get his two-kids-and-a-white-picket-fence-fantasy with a man

Barney is pan. He hits on everything that moves. Why deny anyone the pleasure of experiencing the Barnacle? 

Robin is trans (her “I wanted a son, so I’m raising you as one” dad fucking sucks) and bisexual with strong preference for men. She’s also super aromantic, but she won’t realise that ‘til she’s dating Keving, and being in a relationship with a psychiatrist forces her to confront the fact that romantic relationships a) make her uncomfortable and b) don’t really last.

Lily? Also bi. Has known it and been out to her friends since college, but has only ever been with Marshall.

There’s at least couple of episodes dedicated to Lily struggling with feeling like she’s faking and/or missing out on something bc she’s never been with a woman. She works through it by finding wlw friends.

Plus Marshall supports her wholeheartedly.

Speaking of Marshall. The token straight friend of the group. The only True Ally and Acceptable Hetero. Except… there’s the time he has a crush on Robin’s rebound bf Gael. And the time he’s practically in a relationship with his law school buddy Brad. (Who, by the way, is trans.) And the way he’s obsessed with Don. And - -

- ohmygod, Marshall realises deep into the show’s fifth season, I’m so not straight. 

“No shit,” Ted says when Marshall comes out to him - after telling Lily, of course. “Before you and Lily met and started dating, there was couple of days I was, like, 90% sure we were going to hook up. But congrats, buddy.”

On the subject of not hooking up:

Ted won’t sleep with Barney, no matter hard Barney keps hitting on him.

It’s a running joke at the beginning of the show. Ted keeps saying that he “just doesn’t find Barney that attractive”. Possibly with quick cuts to flashback scenes where he’s very clearly attracted to Barney.

Really the reason Ted won’t sleep with Barney is bc a) he doesn’t want to ruin their friendship and b) he knows that having that two-kids-and-a-white-picket-fence-fantasy with Barney is impossible.

This changes when Barney and Robin start dating, and it becomes apparent that he’s capable of serious relationships.

Those are confusing times for Ted. He’s not sure which one he should be jealous of, Barney or Robin.

After Barney and Robin break up, Ted and Barney hook up. Once. It’s an accident a la Barney and Robin hooking up in season three. They decide not to ever speak of it or do it again bc they both valuetheir friendships with Robin too much.

They are way better at not-talking and not-doing-it-again than Barney and Robin ever were.

In fact, they are doing ~fine~* all the way up until the whole “Hey, we should totally have a baby together. As friends.”

*by ~fine~ I mean hopelessly on-and-off pining after each other

They obviously give James back his baby daughter, and Ted still gets that heartfelt speech about the real deal waiting for him from James. 

But this time it doesn’t make Ted realise having a baby with Barney is crazy. It makes him realise…

…that he really, really wants to have a baby with Barney. Just. Not as friends.

What follows, is intense mutual pining starring two equally obvious bros.

It’s driving the squad crazy.

Eventually Marshall confronts Ted, and Lily confronts Barney. Both deny having any feelings for the other. Despite being in the pining mode™ for real, they are still unsure if starting a relationship would a) mess up the group dynamic and b) be okay with Robin.

Lily and Marshall, frustrated with their friends’ hard headedness, try to get Ted and Barney together with more and more eloborate and ridiculous ways. Starting with ‘accidentally’ locking them up in a bedroom together & ending with a flat tire, bottle of champagne, and a real life puppy. 

What gets them together in the end, however, is Robin.

She invites both Ted and Barney over for dinner bc Lily and Marshall aren’t the only ones fed up with pining idiots.

She comes out as aro to both of them, calls them idiots, tells them she’s more than fine with them getting together already, damnit & leaves them to have a nice candle lit dinner together.

And they do indeed finally get together.

The relationship isn’t all dancing on roses, but it isn’t unnecessary drama and jealousy either.

Their getting-engaged episode is hilarious. Barney has a super complicated Playbook plot, and Ted is planning something grand and romantic. Lily is terrible at keeping secrets, and ends up spilling both of their plans to the other. Logically that means proposing first becomes a competition. In the end, Ted beats Barney to it only by seconds (they reach in their pockets for the ring at the same time, but Ted knels faster) and crying Barney tries to claim letting Ted win was his master plan the whole time.

Ted loves him, so he says he believes that.

The last season still focuses on Barney’s wedding weekend. This time the grand best man drama is about who’s going to be Barney’s best man.

(Also about the fact that Barney keeps insisting the only reason Marshall’s Ted’s best man is bc Ted is marrying Barney. So therefore Barney is obviously the real best man in Ted’s life.)

In the end, Barney doesn’t have a best man. He has a best woman. Robin didn’t end up marrying either of them, but she’s still part of that wedding.

They live at Barney’s apartent for some time after the wedding, but move into Ted’s Westchester place when they decide they want to have kids.

After some hilarious happenings they find a lovely surrogate, who actually carries and gives birth to both Penny and Luke eventually.

“And that, kids, is how I met your mother.”

“Oh my GOD, dad. You definitely did not need to go that much into detail in telling us how you met our SURROGATE mother. Seriously.”

Nobody dies and everyone is happy. Lily’s art dealer career flourishes, Marshall eventually gets to be Fudge Supreme, Ted fucking loves being a professor, Barney completes his revenge plan and becomes a surprisinly happy (and popular) stay-at-home-dad and a dad blogger, and Robin is a hot shot international journalist who actually loves keeping in touch with her friends.