SilverThestral

Hi lovely anon, thanks for the ask!

Unfortunately I couldn't really find any active Blackinnon writers but I've created a list of some of my favorite mini fics and oneshots from some great Blackinnon writers (not sure whether they're still active) which I hope you'll enjoy :)

Happy reading!

Park Meeting (Muggle AU) | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | by @areyouseriouspadfoot

Alternate Universe where Sirius adopts Harry after James and Lily die, meets and bonds with Marlene through a bunch of shenanigans including his godson.

Sirius Knew What War Meant | by @hokeytheelf

Sirius mourns Marlene after she is killed in the war.

I Think I Like This Jealous Sirius | by @hokeytheelf

Sirius gets jealous seeing other men fancy Marlene and decides that he's ignored his feelings for her long enough.

Freudian Slip | by @hey-there-juliet

Sirius begins to realize that he likes Marlene as more than a friend.

Blackinnon on the Hogwarts Express | by @blacklilyqueen

Sirius and Marlene get a little steamy on the Hogwarts Express after spending a summer apart. (⚠️: smut)

Star Crossed (10 Chapter Fic) | by @blacklilyqueen

Sirius and Marlene spend most of their childhood with one another in the same pureblood circles but once they start school at Hogwarts, their newfound freedom allows them to find a deeper meaning to their life-long relationship. (⚠️: some chapters include smut)

Blackinnon Drabble | by @marlmckitten

Years of insults slowly turn into flirting as Sirius and Marlene realize there's a fine line between hate and love.

Just Keep Running | by @hokeytheelf

11-year-olds Marlene and Sirius have a chaotic first meeting on Platform 9¾.

A Drunken Tradition | by @hokeytheelf

Marlene sits out at a Gryffindor party and Sirius comforts her.

I Know | by @hokeytheelf

First time saying "I love you" to each other.

First Time Telling | by @marlmckitten

When Marlene gets a boyfriend, Sirius realizes he wants to be a lot more than "just a friend".

Accio True Love | by @j-ily-potter

Marlene feels hopeless watching James and Lily date and casts a spell to try to find her own soul mate.

Blackinnon Coffee Co. | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | by @marlmckitten

Artist @artbyjuliajm has just given us all this perfect magical ✨️ piece of art based on Gwynriel mating ceremony on Solstice 😍😍😍

Characters belong to Sarah J Maas

Repost Not Allowed across any media outlets

click here for my writing's masterlist.

After digging endlessly through thousands of Blackinnon fics, I'm giving you a big fat list of Blackinnon recommendations that are posted throughout FF.net and AO3.

ʷⁱˡˡ ᵖʳᵒᵇᵃᵇˡʸ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ᵃᵈᵈⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵗᵘᶠᶠ⁻ I still have many more saved up. Perhaps I'll make another one in the future.

🔸 for multi-chapter

Thank you for the recommendations, I haven't read all but I'll include your picks at the bottom

Sirius Black and the eleven times he fell in love with Marlene McKinnon by VellaNikola 🔸 | AO3

Summary: By the time he realized what he was feeling, he already knew of eleven distinctive events that led him to feel the way he did.

“Why do you hate me, McKinnon?” he whined.

She laughed at him with that familiar tone he hadn’t heard in far too long and she smiled in that way that so few had ever seen. “Someone’s got to keep you in check.”

6 Years by HopeRomance | FF

Summary: In 1975 it starts with sideways glances and tiny smiles... A chronicle of the six years (and then some) of Sirius Black and Marlene Mckinnon's relationship.

She's new to the Quidditch team and he thinks it's going to be a disaster. She's all blonde curls and sparkling eyes and wide smiles-not at all fit for such a physical sport. But he's never seen her fly.

Stray Thought by lyin | FF

When he looked out of the corner of his eye, sometimes he still saw her waiting for him... Marlene McKinnon & Sirius Black, who never had a girlfriend- he had a motorcycle instead.

But once in a blue-grey moon, when he was not so alone, before Azkaban, and then on nights when his heart wasn't drumming out that James and Lily were dead, dead, dead to the tune of his latest mistake, when he felt like going out for a drink and kissing a girl he didn't love until they were both dizzy and breathless, he would have an old stray thought of Marlene McKinnon.

Free by Waterlily23 | AO3

This one is short but I fell in love with it the first time I read it.

Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black were many things but most of all they were free.

An Outsiders Perspective by Waterlily23 | AO3

You see them, Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black. A view of the two trouble makers from an outsider's perspective.

You see her bring out a pack of cigarettes put one between her lips, light it before passing the packet to him who does the same thing.

The Last of Us by PadnProng 🔸 | AO3

This is one of my favourites of all time, and that's saying a lot. Slow. Sirius's character is spot on. Not completed but 100 percent worth the read. Not centered around blackinnon relationship, more on the war but it's still there and it's very very strong.

“Alright,” said Marlene, after only a moment of consideration. “How about you kiss me?” she suggested.

Sirius’ eyes grew wide, suddenly choking on his own saliva. He didn’t quite expect her to handle it like that.“Wh-what?...” he stammered, at a loss for words possibly for the first time in his life.

“Huh,” Marlene remarked, tossing her head to the side. “I thought you would have been a lot smoother than that.”

Sirius's 10 Rules (or Pillow Talk) by haeliestorm | AO3

Summary: Lily has always liked to reprimand Sirius when he broke school rules. When she finds out he has his own rules (and has broken many of those too) she just finds it funny.

He really couldn't work out why he kept letting this happen. He was sleeping with one of his good friends, and this wasn't even the only time. It was the third. Why? Perhaps because you really enjoy it, and really like that it's with her, said a small voice in his head.

Falling Apart by Gwaeros | FF

Because Sirius Black understands.

Because they aren’t just Sirius and Marlene, the unbreakable, they are people too, but nobody realises the truth, nobody realises that they’ve been broken all along.

What Are You Doing? by aejaycee | AO3

There are times where Sirius could just lean in...

"Do I make you nervous?" Marlene teased, noticing the way he stiffened uncomfortably now that they were so close. They'd been careful not to let this happen. They knew, even then, that something was changing.

Ephemeral Tallies, Sempiternal Scars by (orphanacc) | AO3

Soulmate AU: AU in which every time a person falls in love, a red line like a tally mark shows up on their wrist. When their love becomes requited, the tally will become black, and when their loved one dies, the tally becomes a scar.

Sirius had no tallies. It wasn’t particularly shocking—he didn’t let himself love easily. But, he must admit, compared to the rest of his friends, his bare wrist looked lonely next to Remus’ one, James’ two, and Peter’s three.

thunderstorms by honeyspeaches | AO3

Summary: and he thinks, this girl is a thunderstorm, wild and deadly and far too easy to love

Sirius Black is not to be trusted, she tells herself in the month that follows. Marlene McKinnon is positively mental, he tells himself in turn.

Grass is weirdly itchy by livy_bear | AO3

This is a simple and short one-shot. All fluff :).

There are few things that are absolutely certain in the world: the sun is warm; grass is weirdly itchy; winter is the best season for cuddling; and Sirius loved waking up and seeing Marlene asleep next to him.

Guilty Pleasure by rachhudson | FF

I like how subtle Sirius is in this fic.

Every night, without fail, she was there, with her friends, by the fire. And every night, without fail, Sirius watched her from the Marauders' favorite table across the room in the corner.

Those are the days he lives for by kingslayers | FF

No dialogue. One-shot. Amazing.

Some days, she lets herself love him. (she doesn't know it, but those are the days he lives for)

Acrophobia by Budapest_All_Over_Again | AO3

Marlene loves his motorcycle. Or maybe she just loves him

She gave his middle a squeeze, determined to not fall off. He laughed, a rough bark.

Happy Memory by mckinnon-m | FF

They took her, the only thing that was worth fighting for.

And Sirius Black knew that, when Marlene McKinnon left, she took his heart with her.

Haunted by polverine (@sisforsammi) | AO3

This is heartbreaking I teared up. Also, she has a lot of Marauders content that includes blackinnon. So, check her out!

Summary: In the days before his death, Sirius can see Marlene.

It was the kitchen this time. He’d been just about to pour himself a drink, when there she was, standing at the other end of the long table.

Not Really, and that’s important by Paige_Marie | AO3

Blackinnon is minor in this one but I like how complex Sirius feels and how vulnerable he sounds.

Sirius never had a home, not really. Sirius had a house but not a home and that's important.

Favourite things by Siriusly_McKinnon | AO3

Sirius and Marlene enjoy the sunshine

‘Are you going to keep staring at me or are you going to lie down and enjoy the sun’ she stage whispered, startling him out of his own thoughts.

‘Can’t help it when I’ve got something so lovely to look at McKinnon’ he replied grinning.

of war and unintended sacrifices by kingslayers | FF

Sirius and Marlene talking about the war. Less romance, more serious.

"James thinks it'll be worth it," he mutters.

"James is in love," she says sadly. "He has to think that because he's bringing a child into this. You couldn't live with yourself if you didn't believe that."

Chill my bones by percychased | FF

Another short one

Usually he'd say "Good luck with that," with a flirtatious wink and walk away, but he found himself distracted with his newfound knowledge - James was right. Maybe he did fancy Marlene, just a little bit.

The Storm and Water by marauders.padfootsb | FF

Summary: Marlene was always scared of storms, while Sirius was always scared of water.

Whenever someone asked Sirius where his favorite place to swim was, he always said, "The ocean." But really, he'd love to say, "Marlene McKinnon's eyes.

Firewhisky Façade by Megsy42 | FF

Short. No dialogue. Beautiful.

Marlene McKinnon liked to think she was brave, but when it came to Sirius Black, perhaps she feared everything.

Not Forever by accioremote7 | FF

This is the stereotype of Blackinnon but I kinda like it

He pretended not to care, not to give a shit, because that was who he was. And though he would deny it to everyone, he found himself wanting, longing, wishing to feel her touch again.

Caution by silversailorganymede | FF

Beautiful One-shot.

No, Sirius Black was not the type to think before he acted – except where it came to Marlene McKinnon, though some people wouldn't have called that thinking at all.

Marlene's Last Day by My Little Big Blue Box | FF

Attention! This is the first fic I read about Blackinnon and look at me now. This is how I get here. This is good. just read it. Please.

Summary: Sirius gets drunk and finally admits that Marlene was never just a fling but so much more. Unfortunately, he can't see into the future and doesn't know of the tragedy just hours away.

Just before locking it shut, she heard Sirius 'whoop!' loudly and a crack sounded after, signaling he was gone, leaving Marlene to smile like a teenager all by herself.

the stars that fill polluted skies by iliads | FF

Marlene and Sirius having a conversation.

You're fucked up, Marlene."

"I know," she says, "but you are too, so it's okay. Right?"

Dysfunctional Beauty by Waterlily23 | AO3

So here we are we made something so beautiful and so dysfunctional

Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black were heartbreakingly gorgeous, with his aristocratic face and deep grey eyes, and her long blonde hair that fell oh so perfectly. They were devastatingly gorgeous, too beautiful. It just couldn’t last.

Starry-Eyed by smallpaperstars | FF

Told from a unique point of view, this tale explores the ill-starred romance of Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon.

After a while, he laughed. "If only Marlene could see me now," he said. "She always swore I'd end up in prison." Then he went to sleep. I could have used his swearwords myself. I needed to hear this story about whoever Marlene was. It felt important.

The dead girl's smile by she'sasiriusriot | FF

and while they describe this unknown stranger he is simply jealous of the dead.

He swallows and starts, "Marlene Mckinnon was definitely not perfect," he can almost see her, shaking her head beside Emmeline, berating him for insulting her at 'her party'. He shakes his head ruefully, "but i think i might have loved her."

Knight in Distress, Damsel in Shining Armour by Ralinde |FF

In which Marlene saved Sirius.

"Fine," she gave in. "Next time, you get to be the knight in shining armour and you can come rescue me and sweep me off on your horse."

He knew she was making fun of him and he didn't want to disturb the light atmosphere between them, so he joined in on her joke. "Nah, I think I'm more of a knight on a shiny motorcycle."

Like the Storybooks by @matrixaffiliate & EnthusiasticSloth 🔸 | AO3

Royalty AU. I loved this one so much. Authors have other blackinnon stories you should deffo check out.

“But,” he stood and her arms returned around his neck, “honor… virtue…other concepts such as those?” This was like the pull that Sir Lancelot felt to Guinevere. In some stories, he maintained her honor, but in all of them, it was his ruination.

@matrixaffiliate has A LOT of blackinnon AU and fics. Although Like the Storybooks is my fav, I encourage you to check out all of her works in her masterlist here. The popular ones are Saudade, A twist of Fate, and my other personal fav, Glimpsing Happiness.

That Night by Potterheademx | FF

Sirius is being questioned about that night, but he can't seem to speak the truth.

That night, he had been with her. By her grave. Clearing out the growing debris and laying fresh, new poppies, her favourite, at her resting place.

We all fall down by livesonacloudinthesky | FF

Sirius and Marlene fought after a mission.

"Oi, McKinnon, nice of you to return after all. A really fucking, amazing idea of yours, to just bloody leave me alone in the warehouse, leaving me to explain the mess you created."

Memories by bookworm42x | FF

In his cold, dank prison cell, Sirius remembers the only girl he ever loved. Oneshot.

She yells out: "Long live Gideon and Fabian!", and whispers softly in Sirius's ear, "And long live Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon."

Blasphemy by Anon | AO3

A little out of character in Sirius's part but cute!

Summary: During Saturday’s Quidditch match against Ravenclaw, three things happen in rapid succession: Sirius almost gets killed by a Bludger, Marlene McKinnon pulls off a spectacular Hairpin Turn and saves his life, and Sirius realizes that okay, holy shit, he’s actually in love with her.

Except that ‘a couple more days’ turns into a week, which turns into two weeks, which slips into three weeks, and he still hasn’t talked to Marlene. And he’s still pretty sure he’s legitimately in love with her.

Parents’ worst nightmare by Sophieofwinterfell | AO3

Summary: James and Marlene liked to go on and on about how they went way back, being childhood friends and all, and they did; but Sirius had a history with Marlene McKinnon too.

“Great. Wanna dance and show these old dinosaurs what it’s like to have a good time, Black?”

“Always, McKinnon. Always.”

5 Signs You’re In Love by sophieofwinterfell | AO3

Sirius should have never listened to Mary read them that stupid article from Witch Weekly Magazine... Or, 5 signs Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon are in love with each other.

Number one. You can’t stop staring at them.

So what if Sirius looked at McKinnon a lot? It wasn’t as if he couldn’t stop whenever he wanted to, or as though he was being creepy about it. Besides, it wasn’t his fault McKinnon was always around… who was he going to stare at? Peter?

The Flowers Do Fade by not my daughter | FF

At Marlene McKinnon's funeral, Sirius reflects on glory, war, and the woman he might have loved.

When I think of you, I think of your Gryffindor scarf in those vibrant colors and that loud cheer you would have at Quidditch games, the way you snaked your arms around my neck to kiss me. I can't reconcile that, not really, with the whole serenity of this place. You were always active, always moving. I don't understand how you can be resting, even now.

The Beginning by He called Me Baby | FF

Just a little blackinnon and quidditch, normal settings, usual blackinnon stereotype. cute.

Summary: How the infamous Sirius Black met his match in Marlene McKinnon.

They stayed like this until finally, Marlene spoke, "You know what I don't get Black; why you think that only one can play that game?"

Broken by xTimorousBeastie | FF

It was only a matter of time before one of them broke, but they made sure to pack a lifetime in before then. Too bad happiness was never for them. Misery was.

They have escaped the world together more often than either of them could count but the one time she needed him as much as he needed her he was off falling back into his old routine and he cried over the casket where she lay all in white as pain akin to that he's never felt racked through his body.

Magic of Rain by loveislouder94 | FF

Very sappy/corny but we needed that sometimes, right?

Summary: Marlene caught Sirius's eye when he saw her dance in the rain, so carefree.

"You are some sort of angel," he tells her, and then he turns around and walks away before he adds something stupid like "and I think I might be falling in love with you." (It'd be a lie, though. He'd fallen in love with her long ago, now he's waiting for her to catch him.)

Move by Rainbow Dust | FF

Sirius's thoughts during Marlene's funeral

Lily says it's fitting. I don't think it fits at all. It doesn't fit you. Nothing about this day is fitting.

In Love and Death, We Don’t Decide by stonecoldhedwig 🔸| AO3

A very cute multi-chapter. Completed, which is very rare for a blackinnon fic.

“Black and I were very drunk,” she said cooly, avoiding Sirius’ gaze entirely. “It’s never going to happen again.”

“Must you wound me so when I’m so fragile, McKinnon?” Sirius feigned, clutching a hand to his chest. The group laughed, and Marlene finally met his dark eyes with her blue ones. She gave him a smile, more relaxed now, and tutted.

“You’ll live, I’m sure,” she said drolly.

What’s owed to them? By @bisexualsirius | AO3

With the war picking up around them, Marlene writes a letter to Sirius to read after her death. Sirius find it.

Marlene hoped that when he found the letter, he could walk down the hall and ask her about it. That she would be there to explain why she wrote it, and that would be the end of the matter. They would go to meet the others for lunch, and the war would be a thing of memory.

The universe owed them that much.

Rain by Rainbow Dust | FF

Tonks shows Sirius how her "morphing" works, but when she transforms into someone from Sirius' past that he just wants to forget, questions are awoken.

"Do you like it?" The girl in front of him smiled.

"Marlene?" Sirius managed up.

The girl raised her eyebrows. "It's me? Tonks?" she laughed.

Sight of the Sun by SiriusUntiltheVeryEnd | FF

Simple blackinnon fluff.

He handed her a cup of coffee, she looked down at it and beamed. "You know what I put in my coffee?"

"I sat next to you at breakfast for two years." He shrugged.

The light in the storm by jesatria7 🔸 | FF

Marlene and Sirius living their life. very simple multichapter. discontinued but worth a read.

He turned his attention back to Marlene's tattoo. The deep red and vibrant green stood out against her pale, cream-colored skin. She really did have beautiful skin. It contrasted nicely with her deep burgundy sheets.

"Are you watching me sleep?" she asked, startling him out of his thoughts.

*

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Would update if more discussions comes out. This post is not for a specific person. If the statement doesn’t apply to you, do not take it personally.

If you think Blackinnon is homophobic, think again!

Here are the facts: yes, Blackinnon is fanon. yes, we are a small community. yes, it’s heterosexual. But does that mean we hate queer ships?  No.

Some may think,  “Marlene Mckinnon is not even a background character, why on earth does people ship it? They must be homophobic.” This may be a little shocking, but accusing someone of being homophobic just based on what they ship is an act of denigration. You’re just putting hate on other people’s mouth to make them your foe, even if they have no intentions to be so.

We can ship blackinnon and wolfstar or Meadowpin. Some of blackinnon shippers actually believe those can co-exist. So what is the problem?  We can ship wolfstar or meadowpin and not blackinnon or the other way around. It’s really based on taste and what they’ve read. 

Shipping a straight ship is not an act of homophobia, nor does it make you straight. I could be gay or bi and ship blackinnon. It’s not a hard concept to understand.

I know a lot of people who hate blackinnon rant because they have a passion for their own ship, and I don’t blame them. You can ship whatever you want. But is it really necessary to bring other ship down?

If you have the need to rant and hate about a certain ship, make sure you use the anti tag. If you knew about the tag but still refuse to use it, you’re just writing rants to belittle other people in your favor. Doesn’t sound very accepting.

read more about my points on Blackinnon and sexuality from previous discussions here (x) 

Seriously, though, WHY do people ship it? 

If you genuinely want to know, then ask the person who ship them. I can’t speak on behalf of all the Blackinnon shippers because they ship it for different reasons. Some ship it for their dynamic, from the fanfics they’ve read, from the headcanons, from their view of Marlene, from their view of Sirius and many more.

For me personally, I ship them for two reasons. Their character dynamics throghout almost all the fanfics i read and, because in my mind wolfstar couldn’t work because of Sirius’s insensitivity for Remus throughout the books (i.e. The Prank, him liking the full moon, giving his riches to harry, his suspicion, etc.), and Frankly i think Remus deserves better. Shockingly, that’s just my opinion. And I have no problem with people not agreeing, but that’s what I concluded when I read the books. and the idea of Sirius having someone is nice you know? The flexibility of Marlene’s character is very inviting for everyone because they have their own interpretations.

Someway or another, you should accept that people have different opinions and interpretation. If you think blackinnon is unbelievably bad, then you do you. Doesn’t mean you have to leave a hate-post on their tag, nor should you blame them for shipping stuff they like.

Blackinnon is a very small ship. And if you hate it, you shouldn’t even bother commenting, responding, or ranting. It just makes people defend it, really. Some people love this ship and you’ve gone out of your way to make them feel bad about themselves. Why?

Marlene McKinnon is not even a a proper character

Here are the facts about Marlene McKinnon: Her name means star of the sea, she is a member of the order, her name is mentioned in Lily’s letter to Sirius, Sirius pointed at her in the movies.

A person that we know Sirius is at least acquainted/friends with makes her a blank canvas. As we all know, Sirius has no romance life in canon, so our options are very minimal. 

There are people who ship Sirius with Caradoc, Benjy, Dorcas, Mary, Gideon, Fabian, and so much more. There are less hate for them compared to balckinnon and here’s why: Marlene McKinnon seemed to be in the spotlight because she is second to Remus in terms of possible pair for Sirius. That’s it.

Some Blackinnon shippers like blackinon because Marlene is practically a walking OC. She can be whatever you want.

 But people tend to focus on the fact that she’s female. Putting that aside, Marlene is an absolute blast to read. Yes, she’s mentioned only a few times, but the whole point of Blackinnon is the possibility. Isn’t that always the case for fanon ships?

Understand the hate towards Blackinnon

When I first dive into Blackinnon years ago, all I see is hate thrown at them. The hate hasn’t stop, whether it’s from private messages or from hate-post.

The conversations I have with fellow Blackinnon shippers usually consist of the same things, “Why don’t they just leave us be?” and till this day I still wonder.

I’ve done my research, and really I wanted the results to be different. 

There are many many many ships out there, using incest, pedophilia, or other stuff, and shockingly, it receives less hate from people. Doesn’t that beg the question? 

Do people hate it because they simply dislike it or are they hating it because they have biased opinions about other ships. The truth is, (I’m going to unfilter- god protect me from hate messages) Blackinnon received a lot of hate because it’s the opposite of wolfstar. It’s straight. It’s not Remus. The audacity of people shipping Sirius with a person other than Remus! It’s the same argument for Remadora hate. More than 70%  (not all ) of the people who hate on blackinnon and remadora, I observe, is from wolfstar shippers. (Yes, I counted it. I am a math god, and in need of a job)

People don’t have as much of a problem for Sirius/Mary, Sirius/Dorcas, Sirius/ Benjy, Sirius/Hermione etc. They have a problem with Blackinnon and Remadora (I wonder why).  I’ll say it again, Marlene McKinnon seemed to be in the spotlight because she is second to Remus in terms of possible pair for Sirius.

Hating other ship to make your ship appear better is…. to be honest, understandable. But to tell you the truth, It doesn’t change a thing.

It doesn’t make me hate my ship. If your intentions on writing hate post is to receive approval from other people, I suggest you search for something else than the topic of hatred.

But, again, if you have the need for the feeling of satisfaction of speaking your opinion of something you passionately hate, then use anti-tag. It’s not so hard.

***CONCLUSION***

At the end of the day we have so much love for these characters, and our biases is only for ourselves. Can’t we just agree  that although we love Harry Potter, we can also love different characters throughout the books/movies? There are communities for everything, focus on the community you love, not the community you hate.

If you got offended throughout reading his post, I’m sorry. But let me clear things up, I do not hate wolfstar, queer-ships, etc. I just like blackinnon, as simple as that. This doesn’t prove that I’m straight, or bi, or anything. It’s just what I like. This post is a defense and obviously not a hate-post. What I ask of you is just to leave blackinnon (and remadora) alone. Thank you.

Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black were heartbreakingly gorgeous, with his aristocratic face and deep grey eyes, and her long blonde hair that fell oh so perfectly. They were devastatingly beautiful, it just couldn’t last. They were extraordinarily explosive, with Sirius’s careless and reckless attitude and Marlene’s fiery temper matched with her natural rebellion. They were just too unpredictably wild, too free. It just couldn’t last.

A quiet Christmas at Hogwarts for Sirius & Marlene ♥️🎄 1977

“You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart; You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffs are true And unafraid of toil; Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, If you’ve a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind; Or perhaps in Slytherin You’ll make your real friends, Those cunning folks use any means To achieve their ends.”

And that is when you talk to someone every day. And one day they don’t talk to you as much.

And then they pull the “we don’t have to talk every day” crap. Because that is true. You do not have to. But you have every right to be upset about it when you notice it. It is a change in habit. It is changed behaviour that effects your every day. If your friend / SO says something along the lines of ‘I just need a break from everything’ ‘I’m having a difficult time’ ‘Sorry I just need some space’ that is acceptable and you absolutely should respect that.

But if they say nothing. And come back later as an attack saying how they do not need to speak to you. Or you shouldn’t be so reliant. Or anything to that affect. That is gaslighting.

That is manipulating you to believe that you are being a bad person for noticing a change in habit. And that is when they are doing it to make you notice but then pretend like it is your fault and not theirs.

If your friend / SO cannot appreciate the fact that you have noticed they are behaving differently and give you no explanation, then they are not respecting you.

Sometimes things come up and someone does need space, and if later on they tell you they just needed some space and they are sorry for worrying you, then you have a real friend.