the malady of death

I need clothes but I'm fat

lately all I've been thinking about is that I have to lose weight. I was almost underweight but I kept binging and gained 7kg

it's so hard to talk about this one issue we keep dealing with because then it makes him sad and I can't stand to see him sad. it's killing me

birthday in a few day. I tried so hard this year and still didn't amount to anything. It's all worthless, like me. yet I keep going on, why?

I hope my piece of shit father dies soon

I solved on exercise. good night. everything will go in my favor from tomorrow

I feel like we have less sex now and it's mostly me who initiates

I have to get away

I wish they would admit that their life would be better without me so I could finally kill myself

I wish someone would help me but asking for help is so humiliating because I'm deeply ashamed of the way I am and my existence. I don't want to be perceived at all

I'm so close to purging again just to harm myself and feel something

not to mention that the atmosphere at home is really bad these days & I'm getting very tired of life

every single time after hanging out I can't even be fully happy that we spent time together because of the feeling the our relationship is doomed

installed a game I used to play again and I've been playing it all day instead of studying for my next exam. I feel like it's pointless because I'm too stupid and my brain doesn't work anymore