"Is it Thursday yet?"

THE END.

Then Just.... Don’t turn them off then, dickface...

- i’m socially exhausted - i don’t have the time right now - i don’t know how to reply - i have a bad memory and got distracted - i’m having a depressive episode and don’t have the energy to socialise

not reasons i haven’t replied back:

HEY!

AO3 is in danger of becoming CENSORED. if you have donated $10 or more BEFORE june 30th, PLEASE exercise your right to vote (as you should have received an email to) and VOTE AGAINST TIFFANY GU, who is PRO-CENSORSHIP and PRO making AO3 “palatable” for outsiders and antis.

this is one of the few places dead dove writers/illustrators have to post our content, which is NOT illegal, immoral, or a threat to society. however, CENSORSHIP IS.

if you have the opportunity to vote, PLEASE TAKE IT.

when he overhears the local guard talking about a new prisoner who could only be you, based on the description of your attitude even without details of your appearance, he’s mostly just surprised he’s not in trouble with you

obviously his second reaction is to immediately plan your break out

if you didn’t beat him to it

a generous round or two or three for the hard working guards of this fair city and a couple of well place compliments and jokes, and he’s got a rough idea of where you are, what the guard rota is, and how tricky the locks are

he heads over to the jailhouse immediately, but finds a shadowy place to loiter inconspicuously until nightfall - the guards here were hardly the scariest opponents he’d faced but even he thought waltzing out of there with you in broad daylight was probably an unnecessary risk

he doesn’t bother bringing anyone else - the whole of vox machina against a couple of sleepy town guards seemed like overkill

besides he definitely wanted to tease you about this and your reactions were always just that bit more enjoyable when you were alone together

the jail is fine, as cages go, clearly meant for nothing more than petty thieves and rowdy drunks, so he’s not worried about your safety

his only worry, briefly, is about whether or not you believe he’s coming for you but he shakes it off - of course you do. People don’t go round hunting all sorts of monsters and beasts and magical weirdness to just abandon each other as soon as it’s mildly inconvenient

not long after nightfall he spots the nightshift guards approaching and moves into position - he’s already identified the loose looking window he’ll slip in through, and the best time to do it is exactly when the guards are changing duties and therefore most distracted

he slips in with the practiced ease earned through his misspent youth and worse-spent adulthood and just slips round the corner into the corridor of jail cells before the night shift guards enter

he knows from the guards at the tavern that the shift starts with a review of the guard desk to make sure keys, cuffs, weapons, etc are still where they’re supposed to be

he estimates a proper review would take maybe 6-7 minutes, but he guesses they’d really spend about 2-3 giving it all a cursory glance

it doesn’t give him long, but he can already tell which cell is yours - he can hear your annoyed muttering

he slips quickly toward you, grin already tugging at the corner of his mouth

you look up as soon as his figure passes in front of the cell, scowl ready for a guard

honestly if vox machina had enough money to cover the damages you would have smashed your way out ages ago

but then you see it’s vax and your not sure if his grin or yours is bigger

you know he’ll tease you endlessly about this later but there is something great about knowing he has your back even in these low stakes

he presses a finger to his lips but it’s hardly necessary

you quietly slip closer to watch him as he picks the lock - its always fun watching him work, his quick, nimble and the faint frown of concentration

the door swings open and you’re about to rush out, when he quickly steps in, crowding your back against the bench 

you’re about to protest when you hear the footsteps and grumbling chat of the approaching guards

you shove vax under the bench, and sit down leaning on your knees so that your legs are forearms covered as much of him as possible

the guard comes and offers some half hearted, by-rote words to check you’re not dying

you’d usually have a retort of some kind but you just want him to leave before he sees vax and keep your answers simple

which of course is when vax pokes the back of your legs, the little shit

You pass off your jump as shifting on the uncomfortable bench and the guard leaves, but you swiftly kick your legs backward just after he does and derive some satisfaction from the soft “oof” you hear

Vax rolls out from under the bench and frowns up at you, but there’s a michevious sparkle in his eye

You roll your eyes and nudge him again with your foot

He flips himself up

“So what’s an adventurer like you doing in a place like this?”

“What are you talking about? This is clearly the social hub of this delightful little town!”

“Well it is now I’m here”

He’s such a little shit

But it’s so hard to be annoyed with him when he smiles like that and looks at you with that sincere, sparkling look in his eye and - oh wow, he’s quite close isn’t he?

You swallow hard, realising that he was mere inches from you, breathing the same air

He learns in just a little more and your eyes dart to his lips

“Get ready to run”

“What”

In a blink, he’s back across the cell pushing the door open quietly and peeking out, beckoning you after him

As you step out, he slips his hand over yours entirely unnecessarily and gently pulls you behind him to the blind spot of the corridor

As soon as you’re close enough to the end that one more step would put you in eyeline of the guard desk, he stops, glances back at you, and squeezes you hand with a wink

Then he slips a small dagger put of his pocket and artfully flips it - the angle is tight, but it lands perfectly in the wall about two feet above the guards’ heads

The guards start and whip around to look at it embedded in the wall

The second their backs are turned vax bolts for the same window he entered through

He jumps through first, fluid and graceful, you follow quickly after to see he’s already landed and held his arms out to catch you

You’re so swept up in his arms you almost don’t notice the shout from the guards

“And now we run”

And you’re off, following vax through an evasive series of twists and turns

It’s not long before the guards are left in your dust

You both slow down and stop to catch your breath in the side alley by a tavern

Its hard as you’re both laughing hard

But as your breathing slowly returns to normal, you realised you’re pressed shoulder to shoulder and his fingers are still loosely entwined in yours

“You know you’re never getting that dagger back”

“Shame. You’ll just have to make it up to me.”

“Oh? How do you want me to do that?”

Never one to miss a challenge, or a hint, vax twisted to stand in front of you, hands either side of your head, practically nose to nose

“I can think of a few things”

And then he kisses you, eager and playful - but the hand that moves to your cheek is gentle and protective

You break apart and he quirks an eyebrow in question, face artfully illumated by the light coming from the window next to you

“Can I take you for a drink?”

“I would love that. We need to go somewhere else though”

“Why?”

All Will Be Well by Gabe Dixon (happy ending au)

Vax'ildan was an angry teenager and a sulky young adult, full of frustration and heartache. He wore black and a scowl like armor. He wore his hair down to act as a shield between him and the people around him. Vax wishes more than anything he could go back and talk to that version of himself, to tell him how impossibly happy he would become.

How someday his greatest joy in life would be sitting on the front porch of his home, waiting for his kids to come home from school.

"Daddy!" Vax looks up to see Piper tearing up the road towards him, Lark trailing behind her, holding Birdie's hand.

Vax grins and jogs down the stairs in time to sweep his youngest daughter up into his arms with a cry of joy. Piper laughs wildly as he swings her into a circle before pulling her into a tight hug. "I missed you so much!" He tells her as he settles her on his hip.

Piper giggles, "It was only five hours, daddy."

"Five hours?" Vax pretends to be shocked, "That's awfully long, now isn't it?"

"No!" Piper shouts. "Teacher says it's not even half the day. It's no time at all."

"Well it felt long to me," Vax says. "I have nothing to do all day without you three causing havoc."

Lark and Birdie arrive at the house, Vax setting down their sister in order to pick them up into a big hug, earning laughs from both of them. "Did you have a good day at school?" He asks Lark and Birdie as he sits down on the stairs. Lark stays in his lap while Birdie sits a little bit away so he can see her signs easier. Piper, of course, can't be bothered to sit still and instead is dancing about the porch.

Lark nods, "Learned more math. And-And we had double recess today."

Vax gasps, "Isn't that lucky. How about you, Birdie?"

She shrugs and signs, "Boring. I have lots of homework."

Vax nods, "Why don't you and I get started on that after I get the three of you some snacks, hm?" Birdie nods, so Vax stands, keeping Lark on his hip as Birdie takes his other hand. Piper trails behind them, nearly stepping on his ankles with every step.