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@sillytacorebel
self made 💉💫
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.
Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.
Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.
Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?
Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.
Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.
Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.
There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.
This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.
John Arsenault (American, b. 1971), The Youngest Was the Most Loved, Rosendale, NY, 2006.
Trauma Information
Processing trauma
Traumatic memories get stored in the brain Differently
Trauma processing information
Steps for Managing Emotional Flashbacks
4 Types of Trauma Responses in Childhood
Relapses can possibly be a Seasonal Trauma occurrence
Three Stages of Trauma from Childhood Abuse
It’s likely you’ll feel the worst of your trauma long after it’s over
Feeling like you’re not normal because of trauma
Anger is vital in resolving trauma
Causes of Trauma
List of trauma symptoms caused by Childhood Abuse
How long term childhood abuse develops into trauma (comic)
Loss of support and community after trauma adds to it
Isolation from support can decide whether a person develops ptsd
Abandonment, rejection and isolation causes trauma
Symptoms of Trauma
Magical Thinking is a symptom of Childhood Trauma
Memory loss is a symptom of trauma and dissociative disorder
Inability to keep your space clean and tidy can stem from Trauma
Chronic Exhaustion comes from Trauma and is traumatic
Constant guilt, shame, and fear of failure can be caused by Trauma
Constant guilt for things that were done to you is an indicator of Trauma
Trauma from abuse will create a compulsion to Act Normal
Trauma will make you feel like you’re losing your future
Trauma makes you feel like you just ‘need to snap out of it’
Trauma can feel like ‘it wasn’t that bad’ even when it was
Childhood trauma can make you sense other people’s emotions
If you wish you suffered violence and trauma, it’s likely you’re already traumatized
Health risks
Trauma will mess up your immune system
Trauma can cause breathing problems and heart palpitations
Trauma will mess up your digestive system
C-ptsd can cause chronic pain and chronic exhaustion
Trauma can make it difficult both to sleep and to stay awake
If you’re struggling with trauma, here’s a link to Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD, and if you believe your trauma comes from abuse, here’s a link to checklists for parental/relationship abuse.
I WASN’T A BAD DOG
I WAS A SCARED DOG

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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my matching stickers side by side <3 (my shop)
Keep reading
Chelsea Dingman, “Things I Never Give Myself Permission to Say,”
Margarita Georgiadis (Greek-Egyptian-Australian, b. 1968, Sydney, Australia) - Summer Tablelands Storm, 2016 Paintings: Oil on Canvas

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE
MAKE A WISH
date of origin: 2013
your room / acrylic and gel pen in sketchbook / instagram
clement chabernaud by estevez & belloso for esquire spain, oct 2019
A tree, 1907, Martiros Sarian

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This is July
You keep dreaming about the ocean