hey what if you got me insanely high and let me sit at your feet for head pats?? what if I started whining a bunch so you gave me a treat?? and that treat is your dick? and you praise me for doing such a good job making you feel good?
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@silliestguy311
hey what if you got me insanely high and let me sit at your feet for head pats?? what if I started whining a bunch so you gave me a treat?? and that treat is your dick? and you praise me for doing such a good job making you feel good?

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no! I promise I won't do anything weird if you give me edibles dude. what are you talking about- I'm perfectly still? I'm not grinding on your couch cushion man, that would be really weird. no I'm not whining for you to fuck me, that was literally the wind shaking the trees! I'm silent and you must be going crazy. yeah. can I get another edible actually?
pulling up to pick you up in my clown car. I open the door and a clown jumps out and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another⁴. "shall we, honk?," I say, with my most handsome grin and my clown nose honked up
yeah okay so I need to be held and told I'm doing a good job for a bare minimum of 5 years. doctor's orders, yeaaaahhh we'll have to start right away. I know it's rough, but you don't mind, do you??
it counts as puppy play to be viciously terrified of fireworks and to cry/shake when they get too loud, right? in my puppy era haha oh god they're so horrible

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why can't I just be a workplace puppy who gets attention from different people all day long and I get to rest? why can't I be called a handsome boy and get praised for sitting pretty?
I love your tag! Especially the font I fw it hard! 🦌
thank you so much!! I love it so much that I made another one that's a dual-sided necklace version :3
engraved a dog tag for myself today! the font is hilarious to me, it seems very jock-esque and that makes me GIGGLE. I might be one inconvenience away from The End, but at least I'm still a certified good boy.
guys.. being a pathetic white boy is NOT all it's cracked up to be
not to be dramatic or anything, but I think getting high and receiving 3 hours of undivided attention from my boyfriend would actually heal me. but, like once a week. or once a day. or twice every day ever because I'm starved for attention regardless of how much attention I already get lmao
this aged poorly... he doesn't want to be my boyfriend anymore!!

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not to be dramatic or anything, but I think getting high and receiving 3 hours of undivided attention from my boyfriend would actually heal me. but, like once a week. or once a day. or twice every day ever because I'm starved for attention regardless of how much attention I already get lmao
anything is romantic if you're enough of a pervert. and isn't that the beauty of our world?
genuinely worried about how horny I'm gonna be once I start T... pre-everything I'm jorkin' it at THE VERY LEAST thrice a week, usually closer to once or twice a day... I'm afraid
is it just me or does Little Wolf from epic the musical go fucking crazy in a forcemasc sense??
yeah freak leave us out of this
NOPE I'M HARD
okay so I didn't nap until The End. as you may presume, I am thoroughly disappointed, will be trying again next week.

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due to recent circumstances, I've decided to nap until The End; nighty night fellas :3
cis coworker: hey can i ask you something personal
this happens to me so often it's almost comical. almost.