All that glisters is not gold

There were things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them, and let them hurt me.

1. it’s waiting for him to remember me once in a while 2. it’s being there for him at 2 am and 2 pm 3. it’s changing my schedule for him, when everyone knows that it is not something i can bear 4. it’s ranting about him to my best friend when i shouldn’t be 5. it’s talking about him to utter strangers 6. it’s making a story out of every conversation 7. it’s staying up whole night, overthinking about ways to talk to him some more 8. it’s writing about him and only him   9. it’s going out for walks at 3 am, all alone, hoping the silence will let you hear how your name sounds in his voice 10. it’s saving him when you can’t save yourself

When I miss you, I read our old conversations, listen to songs that reminds me of you, then miss you more.

I never thought it would be this hard. Be this hard to forget the sound of your voice, the way your skin feels on mine. I never thought it would be this hard to forget you, to forget us.