a collection of lines from the tv show. tw: some nsfw.
‘ has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? have you ever heard anyone say: thank god, the water’s here? ’
‘ to get ice cream or commit a felony. i’ll decide in the car. ’
‘ your heart’s in the right place, but i don’t know where the hell your brain is. ’
‘ i know i look square, but i’m like my father’s tractor. i take a while to warm up, but once i get going i can turn your topsoil till the cows come home. ’
‘ may your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta. ’
‘ go to sleep, sweetheart. pray for brains. ’
‘ yeah, frightening, isn’t it? ’
‘ if that doesn’t fill the voice, nothing will. ’
‘ this ain’t gonna be no cakewalk! ’
‘ and how many junkies have gas and hot flashes? ’
‘ condoms! condoms! condoms! ’
‘ the time i was radioactive. ’
‘ so is eating grapes at the supermarket, but you do that all the time. ’
‘ i think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste. ’
‘ you can go straight to H-E-double-hockey-sticks! ’
‘ i could vomit just looking at you. ’
‘ it’s like having two size nine fudgesicles pressed up against my butt. ’
‘ you drink out of a brown paper bag and suddenly everybody’s your friend. ’
‘ god, i hate morning people. ’
‘ i don’t know what to say. yes, i do. don’t ever do that. ’
‘ well, i am stunned. just stunned. stunned is the only way to describe how…stunned i am! ’
‘ you’re a furry little gnome and we feed you too much. ’
‘ i’ll try but if they serve me cauliflower, it’s in god’s hands. ’
‘ now get out of here before the victim of violent crime in this house is you! ’
‘ i think it started when i came down from the bell tower and got my humped fixed! ’
‘ of course, my heroine doesn’t look like you. this is a romantic novel, not science-fiction. ’
‘ you always complain, and we always get through it. ’
‘ please! i had to turn you away from the window so you wouldn’t inhale the drapes! ’
‘ wow, with only three hours of sleep, i can be as bitchy as you. ’
‘ isn’t it amazing how i can feel so bad and still look so good? ’
‘ can i ask a dumb question? ’
‘ because i feel lousy and being mean to you makes me feel better. ’
‘ if there’s ever a night when you can’t sleep, i’ll come into your room and sing ‘ kumbaya ’. ’
‘ you try and i’ll have you on your back so fast you’ll think you’re out on a date. ’
‘ have i given you any indication at all that i care? ’
‘ but then again it was dark and i tend to over-dramatize. ’
‘ my mistake. i thought since you look like yoda, you were also wise. ’
‘ stand back, i could blow any minute. ’
‘ well, i’m here if you want to pick my brain. ’
‘ do you want it fast or do you want it good? ’
‘ you’re just denying you’re in denial. ’
