he thought he could, he really did. but everything within his system was telling him otherwise. it hadn’t been anything bigger than a “ normal ” demon, the usual demand of souls, and it hadn’t taken the demon long to get SCARED and discharge his weapon. really, it was Sam’s natural default that kicked in and was the cause of this whole event they’d found themselves in now. seeing yet another muzzle of a firearm pointed at his head, endangering the one he loved the most, made him so desperate to remove the threat that he didn’t think things all the way through.
then it was a fight between who controlled who, and who had the gun. it was a pretty decent effort, and Sam nearly had the weapon out of the other’s hand, but then it went off and there was a flare of white-hot pain that burned through the cage of his body. And at that very moment the the demon vanished, dropping the gun at Sam’s knees as he’d crumbled to them with a harsh inhale that caught his throat and nearly choked him, everything seeming to have stopped there, dead in his throat. no screams, no grunts; just a simple breath.
there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that the bullet had ruptured one of his lungs, anytime he tried to breath, it felt like he was underneath a swell of water that kept dragging him under despite his best efforts to escape the rapids; each desperate drag of breath sounding harsh and dry.
( he had to be the hero——— he always had to be the hero. )
Sam didn’t try to stop the bleeding, not this time. despite what instinct impulses SCREAMED at him to do, every bit of his training told him that with the bullet that impacted him, one way or another he was going to die, and he’d rather not make a big hoax about it. give himself ( or Elise ) false hope.
when she started speaking though, a part of him wanted to laugh. it was hope against training, and he was 99.9% sure that he wasn’t going to last another two minutes. with all the rasping he was doing, he’d be lucky if he lasted a minute and a half, all of his energy was being drained away with the effort he was trying to make to keep air in his lungs.
“ listen to me——- i’m not getting out of this. t-the bullet went too deep,” finally, a groan. “ i can feel it in my spine. nobody will be able to fix this. n-not even the best… surgeon in the world could,” his lip wobbled some as tears burned the back of his eyes. out of all the ways he could have left the world, he didn’t think that this would be one of them. he figured he’d grow old, have kids, perhaps even grandkids long before he’d come to leave this world behind. but now—- he was going to leave in the best way he knew how, after following his instincts and training ( and look where that got him ).
slowly, he exhaled, pushing back a harsh grimace that wanted so desperately to be let free, the itch resting against his tongue, waiting for that moment when he’d let himself fall. “ you have to know that i love you. i always have. from the moment i met you, i knew that i loved you. an’ you have to know that no matter what, where——-wherever i might be, all you have to do is look up a-at the moon,” a soft breath moves past his lips, his hands finding hers, interlacing their fingers between one another, squeezing with whatever leftover strength he could manage before placing a gently kiss on her forehead. then there was a faint smile that found the corners of his lips as he’d looked up and found her gaze, locking olive green hues with hers for the last time.
“ look up a-at the moon an’ i’ll be there. i’ll always be there. ”
