this is the first time in awhile i’ve seen you more like yourself, and i know the last almost year has been so rough and trying on you but seeing you like this brings me so much joy and happiness. my sweet baby.

i wouldn’t say i’m bad at all, i feel loads better than i did before but i still have really shitty days where i sink so far into my head that i don’t know what to do with it. but i reckon that happens. things don’t feel like they did before which is good, i’m thankful for that. i’m excited to disappear off the face off the earth for 2 weeks with kells for our honeymoon, i’m so thankful for elio and i love him so much but i miss just us having time together and between the new ep, elio being born and all the holidays that came after and then the shit that happened, we really haven’t had time for us and i miss that. 

you ever just feel like tv static? yeah.

things feel good, things feel better, i feel myself again. i’m happy. 

the last few days have felt better, but i’m afraid of being happy about it and then something happening. 

i want the earth to swallow me whole, i don't want to exist anymore. i'm tired.

trying to remember the last time i felt anything at all

things still just feel empty and void, and i guess that’s life now.

now i've dodged your questions so much i don't possess the strength to answer straight and no, i'm not afraid, at least not to die i'm afraid to live and not remember why

am i supposed to give a shit about any of this? because i just don't lmao at all