I found this gif on twitter and I’m sobbing please send help
This is sheer hilarity
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I found this gif on twitter and I’m sobbing please send help
This is sheer hilarity

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Are you Mike as fuck?Â
(insp.)
I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth.
I dunno if anyone has mentioned this yet, but anyone else notice that Amy and Jake “switched” what they were wearing in the beginning and the end of the episode?Â
Oh my god! I notice amy wearing the jake-esque shirt at the beginning but I hadn't twigged the fact jake was wearing a light blue shirt at the end!!
Will you be joining us tomorrow at 8:30/7:30c?
Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes!

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God, how long is that? Eight pages. Single-spaced? Double-sided.
Santiago Style
- She must be very special.
- She is.
can we talk about this real quick
Amy is terrified
Amy moves behind Jake and grabs onto him
Jake is like “oh damn”
Jake is struggling to think of what to do
the love of his life is grabbing onto him
Jacob Peralta, the best detective int he Nine-Nine is stunned
oh no
oh yes
JAKE AND AMYÂ
THE FAKE PROPOSAL
THE BANTER
DIVING IN THE DUMPSTER
THE ALMOST SLOW DANCE
THE LOOKS OF LOVE AT THE END

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#of all the things he could’ve given her #this is the one he chose #because he knows her well enough to know that this is the one she would appreciate most
S02E09 - The Road Trip
(Follows on from Jake and Amy leaving the dinner table after the revelations, filling the gap before Jake knocks on the door.)
Doesn’t conform to canon.
-----------------------
It wasn’t until the receptionist called out “Excuse me Sir,is everything alright?” that he realised he’d been stood transfixed on the staircase for who knows how long.
“Uhh… What? No.” He struggled in response, still staring at the flight of steps that led to the rooms upstairs.
“Is there anything I can do to help then Sir?” the young blonde haired woman at reception asked tentatively.
“What? No, I’m okay. A-okay. I’m fine. Super fine in fact. Super-de-duper fiiiii…” he trailed off after he finally turned towards the reception desk, mid-sentence, to see the bemused look on the receptionist’s face blinking back at him.
“… I’m going to go… that way… over there” he points to the open double door leading through to the lounge bar and then slinks off embarrassedly through them.
He walks through the lounge and straight up to the bar on auto-pilot. Most of the guests staying at the Maple Drip Inn were still through in the restaurant, they hadn’t even made it to their appetisers, so the bar is all but empty.
“What can I get ya?” the bartender asks Jake as he grabs a seat at the bar.
“Anything but damn Pilsner’s…” Jake mutters under his breath while shooting a glance through the open door-way in the general direction of the stairs.
-----
“Maybe. Yes. A little, I was confused.”
-----
Jake was pulled out of his musings by the bartender clearing his throat.
“Sorry man. Double scotch please, neat.” The bartender walks away to fix his drink. Jake leans his elbows on the bar and runs a hand through his hair. Drinking copious amounts of scotch felt like the dumbest, and best, idea at this point. He was going to need to seriously think the latest events over, and having a scotch to steady himself seemed like the most appropriate accompaniment.
The short glass of amber liquid is placed in front of him and the bartender barely has time to pull his hand away before Jake has sunk it and gestures for another. He undoes his top button and rolls the sleeves of his dark shirt up to the elbow. The bartender places another scotch in front of him. Jake looks up and sees his reflection in the mirror mounted on the back wall of the bar. The second he makes eye contact with himself he sharply looks away and turns to look out of the window at nothing in particular.
-----
“I think I’d be pissed at myself if I don’t say this… I kinda wish something could happen between us romantic-stylez…”
-----
“I’m sorry, it’s going to cost HOW MUCH? You’ve got to be kidding me!”
The raised voice from the reception shakes Jake out of his daydream. He instantly recognises it as Teddy’s. Jake slides off of his bar stool and walks quickly and quietly towards the open doors leading to the reception. He pokes his head around the door frame to see Teddy standing at the reception desk with his back to him, having a heated discussion with the young blonde from before. His weekend bag is laying at his feet.
“I’m sorry Sir but that’s the only room available on such short notice.” The receptionist explains apologetically.
“Fine. I guess it’ll have to do. Don’t have any other option do I?” Teddy hands over his credit card and starts to turn around to pick up his bag. Jake springs back away from the doorway, his back flat against the wall and guilt floods through him.
-----
Amy hasn’t changed her mind then. God, I hope Teddy doesn’t decide to come through for a Pilsner’s to drown his sorrows.
-----
Jake’s fear is assuaged as he hears footsteps, which he assumes to be Teddy’s ascending the stairs. He breathes a sigh of relief and looks up to see the bartender staring at him with a puzzled look on his face.
“It’s okay. I’m a cop.” Jake announces across the bar to the bemused bartender in an attempt to explain his frankly strange behaviour. He pushes himself away from the wall and walks back over to his seat at the bar. He picks up his drink and swirls the liquid round, staring blankly at it.
-----
“You want to know why she went out with him and not you?”
“Yeah.”
“Because he actually asked her out.”
-----
Jake shakes his head and finishes his scotch. Without prompt the bartender takes his glass away and starts to pour him another.
-----
What am I doing here? Why am I not upstairs with my smart, funny, smoking hot girlfriend? Why am I even sitting here knocking back scotch like the world has ended?
This is a no-brainer. Amy used to like me. Past-tense. Sure, Teddy is convinced she still does but he just doesn’t get that we are partners. We’re close as hell, but if Amy wanted something to happen romantic-stylez she’d have said something or broken up with Teddy ages ago.
Sure it was dumb of me to invite Teddy up here without asking her if she was cool with it. I was just being a good friend. A good partner. But I shouldn’t have gotten so involved. Sophia must be furious. She’s such a cool girlfriend. The coolest…
“You know what, this is officially too much for me, so I'm gonna go upstairs and rip the heads off some dolls. Good night.”
Damn it I have to fix this.
-----
Jake grabs his third double scotch and throws it down the hatch. The burning liquid hits his throat and he suppresses the need to choke. His dad had once told him that real men never cough when drinking hard liquor. It was the kind of throw-away comment that stuck in a kid’s head.
With that Jake stands up, takes a deep breath and heads for the stairs.
He’s walking quietly and steadily down the corridor past identical wooden door after identical wooden door until he reaches the right one. He stops a few feet away. He stares at it for a second, suddenly feeling his heart thudding against his ribcage and his breathing quicken. Jake closes his eyes.
-----
Eyes closed. Head first. Can’t lose.
-----
He opens his eyes and takes the last few steps towards the door. He knocks three times confidently.
“Hey, it's me. Please open the door. Come on, let's talk. I'm sorry.”
He stands there staring at the wooden panels, straining to hear any movement from inside the room. After what seems like an age he hears footsteps approaching.
-----
Thank god. She can’t be that mad after all.
-----
The door opens a crack. “Hey Jake.”
She’s standing there leaning against the door frame with her arms folded and her expressive brown eyes looking up at her.
“Amy. Can I come in?”
 Fin.
-----------------------Â
This is my first ever fanfic piece. This pair have really gotten into my head and I'm filling the B99 shaped hole in my life until the next episode airs.Â
Feedback most welcomed.
jake peralta + pining after amy

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THE B99 FANDOM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE SMALLEST OF JAKE/AMY INTERACTIONS LIKEÂ