I'll trust you, walk me out of the grave

On the other hand, one of the most common themes expressed by detransitioners is that the process never resolved their deeper issues. One woman explained:

"Being trans" on Tumblr was a fun distraction from the misery of my daily life. I still had next to no friends at my new school, I still had a bad relationship with my parents, I still hated my fat, but at least I could enter this alternate universe where I was a cool guy with lots of followers. It started being a lot less fun when I began pursuing transition in real life.(17)

Others shared similar sentiments:

It's become really clear in recent years that any sort of big problems that I thought I would fix by transitioning weren't really fixed.(18)

It was a waste of my money. It was a waste of my time. It was more time that I didn't do what I needed, which was [to] address my dissociative symptoms.(19)

Some realized after transitioning that their original motives were misguided attempts to grapple with their sexuality. One remarked, "My dysphoria was hatred of my body due to internalized misogyny.(20) In Newcastle, England, hundreds of young women have come forward, seeking help to detransition. What most of the women have in common is that they are either autistic or identify as lesbian.(21) Through a painful process of self-experimentation, they realized that they did not cease to be female just because they didn't fit the feminine mold. On the contrary, by attempting to pass as male, they were conforming to male stereotypes and reinforcing them.(22)

Meanwhile, others choose to detransition because they are dissatisfied with the results. One woman admitted, "Identifying as a male really made my dysphoria worse.”(23) Another remarked that she knew if she continued trying to be a man, "I was going to give myself gender dysphoria eventually ... which is really ironic."(24) Even after receiving chemical and surgical alterations to their bodies, many gaze into their mirrors each day with sorrow at a body that still disagrees with them.”

-Jason Evert, Male, Female, or Other: A Catholic Guide to Understanding Gender

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Work cited:

16) Cari Stella, "Female Detransition and Reidentification: Survey Results and Interpretation" Post), Tumblr, September 3, 2016,, https://guideonragingstars.tumblr.com/post/149877706175/female-detransition-and- reidentification-survey; Cf. Elie Vandenbussche, "Detransition-Related Needs and Support: A Cross-Sectional Online Survey," Journal of Homosexuality 69/9 (2022), 1602-1620; Lisa Littman, "Individuals Treated for Gender Dysphoria with Medical and/or Surgical Transition Who Subsequently Detransitioned: A Survey of 100 Detransitioners," Archives of Sexual Behavior 50:8 (2021), 3353-3369.

17) Soh, The End of Gender, 184.

18) "Growing Up Trans (full documentary)." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIuS-48tSpE&t=5s&ab_channel=FRONTLINEPBS%7COfficial

19) "Reversing a Gender Transition," https://youtu.be/V6V0p3_bd6w?si=pw2P7Ok_QEQFdDn2

20) "Detransition TikToks compilation-June & July 2021," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG5rOpNc8t0&ab_channel=CatCattinson

21) Cf. S. Lockwood, "Hundreds" of Young Trans People Seeking Help to Return to Original Sex," Sky News, October 5, 2019.

22) "Detransition TikToks compilation-June & July 2021.". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG5rOpNc8t0&ab_channel=CatCattinson

23) "Coercion & Abuse in the Gender ID Community | with ⚢ GNC-Centric ⚢" https://youtu.be/QAMar22S0ck?si=K2DQhSejkvUiQ06T

24) "DETRANSITION: How My Voice Has Changed," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UvqwOm3dD0&ab_channel=Kshipa

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- marsha p. johnson repeatedly identified as a gay man and drag queen and survived into an era where the language did already exist if he chose to identify as transsexual. he explicitly stated that he was not transsexual and claimed that all transsexual people were also homosexual.

- sylvia rivera did identify as a transsexual woman (and made disparaging speeches about lesbians). she was not an ally to lesbians. lesbians and transwomen have not always been allies.

- neither of them were there when the stonewall riots began, according to marsha’s own testimony. sylvia was sleeping off a drug trip on a park bench, and by the time marsha arrived at stonewall, the riots were already in full swing.

- storme delarverie, a mixed black gender-nonconforming lesbian and drag king, may have been the one who incited the stonewall riots. she never identified as a transman despite surviving into an an era where the language was made accessible to do so. accounts differ as to who started the riots.

- stonewall was not a special haven for trans people and drag artists, it was just some bar where gay people met up. by all accounts, it wasn’t even a good bar.

- pride as a festival and parade was invented by gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people. fred sergeant is one of those gay men, and he has been beaten (in recent years, as an elderly man) by trans people and their allies due to his views on medical transition. non-homosexual trans people were unheard of in this era.