⋆.𐙚 Kitty .⋆

⏔⏔⏔ “ 𝓓𝓸𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻! 𝓓𝓸𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻, 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ”

✚₊︵ Kitty . . . 18 𑄝 

ᛝ It / Its / He / Him

₊⊹ BPD 𓏵 CPTSD 𓏵 DID

TW, the content below may be uncomfortable for some viewers. viewer discretion is advised.

every moment I spend without him is another moment of my personal hell.

I want his attention, his affection, I want him to stay close to me at all times. we don't need to talk about anything, I just need him there I just need him around me

it doesn't matter because you will never be as important to him as I am, you will never know him the way I do, and he will never care about you the way he cares about me

so go ahead, touch his body.

going fucking insane right now, I'm shaking and on the verge of screaming and clawing my skin. he's going to someone's house, someone he wants to get intimate with

I fucking hate this I hate it I don't want anyone touching you, seeing you, hearing you. the idea of anyone having you drives me absolutely insane

am I not enough for you, why don't you want me and only me, I'm all that matters I'm the only person who knows you, truly knows you

I can't breathe everything is slipping away from me I'm going to hurt people

I don't understand what makes YOU so special, why or how YOU affect my mood so greatly. I don't understand why I revolve myself around you so heavily, what makes you so special.

it's so fucking bad. it's so unhealthy. I need to get space away from you but I can't.

all day today I have been so angry and irritable because we didn't talk much yesterday, and we didn't sleep on call.

and now? I'm literally salivating because we're on call and you had your camera on and I love you. I've been so upset because everyone keeps fucking talking to me, and I only want to talk to you.

I'm so fragmented as a person, I never feel whole, I'm not real, I am a concept. there is nothing complete about me.

I only feel whole when he is around, when I don't have to worry about being a person. I don't feel the stress of life holding me down when he's near, I don't feel the dread and terror.

I feel safe with him, so safe that I don't even think about the shattered pieces of myself that are gone, lost forever.

I can just be a concept with him, and he isn't bothered.

on the new episode of "shit beetle does that makes me fucking sick"

sent me this TikTok and I said "me fr"

so he sent me his account where he reposts a lot of shit, and told me to look through the reposts and favorited videos

"it's like I'm picking through your brain"

"do you like it?"

what kind of question is that.

I don't like it, I love it. I cherish it. I crave it.

I shake and drool at the thought of you trusting me with these things, it feels like you do it on purpose. like you know what it does to me. how it affects me.

keep doing it, keep fucking with me, keep sending me through loops and spirals

watching him talk to his friend

"come over"

"no I'm gunna rot and play video games"

yeah with me, ME. he hates people but he still wants to be around me because I'm better, I'm above you, I'm more important. he told me that himself he said it to me, has he ever told you that?

has he ever told you that you outrank everyone in his life, no? yeah well he's told me that

I don't care that you like him, I don't care what your bond is with him. it's nothing compared to ours.

we can bend and break but nothing can ruin us, we will always come back to each other, I know it.

he sent this TikTok to me,

it 100% doesn't mean anything, he just knows I find this shit attractive, but.. he gen doesn't know.

beetle you don't understand the things I would do for you, I would worship you, I would listen to everything you say, I would do whatever you asked of me

you don't understand how insane you make me feel when you say shit like that

you put up this whole act, you don't feel anything, you don't care about anyone, but I see right through you

no one knows you the way I do, do they? does anyone know the things you hide, the things you bury? please answer me honestly, I want to know I'm the only one.

you say it yourself, you do. you tell me you care about me, you check in, you listen to me.. do you do that for anyone else? does anyone hear those sweet words, is it just me? please say it's just me, I want to be the only one

"I love you" "I care about you" "I trust you"

who else hears this, who else hears about your grotesque nature.

you're the only one I need, you're the only one who knows about my disgusting self. I hope I'm the same for you. I would do anything for you, anything you ask, anything you need, it's all yours.

just love me, stay with me, pay attention to me, tell me how important I am to you. I'll love you forever, not a moment will I ever think about leaving, not again, never again. I'm never letting you go.