Shush Shush

i fall in love to easy, but what hurts is that i create the boundary before anything develops. my fear of falling in live with someone ny family won't approve or accept is bigger than i knew.

today, I learned that if I am arguing with a person who is actively missing the point of my messages and changing the subject to be about them and making themselves look like the victim.

When everything you do, right or wrong, is always a mistake, all you can do is shut down cause faking happiness only causes more pain.

Getting scolded by my parents and my sister trying to "defend" us leads to always escalating the issue and end with us being in more trouble cause of her tone.

Stopping myself from falling in love because i know im not ready for that type of commitment yet. But at the same time, falling in love so easily.

It's my most hated time of the year~

Professional at accidentally making friends fall in love with me but failing to confess to any actual crushes I get.

Currently, my mentality is in the gutter, but my peronality stays a flower field.

I miss so many people rn, and i want to keep talking to them, but i know they are not interested. And i know i don't hold much or any importance to any of them just based on how they respond. And that's ok, but it still really hurts. I always want to put myself first, but i reply as soon as they all message me, but i have to wait mins to hours just for a reply.

It's about time my mom finally called me a disappointment. I mean, it's mostly my fault, but it doesn't change the fact that she basically admitted my short-term happiness is basically disappointing her cause I'm making friends. I already dont have time to do my thesis cause, apparently when I want to work on it, you think everything else is more important than it. Then, when I want to rest, have fun, and relax, I'm wasting my time and not studying. Yes, I'm lazy. Yes, I procrastinate. YES, SCHOOL MAY NOT BE SOMETHING I PRIORITISE OR EVEN WANT TO CONTINUE DOING. BUT YOU CAN'T SEE THIS IS BECAUSE YOU KEEP MAKING ME DO SO MUCH THINGS AT THE SAME TIME?!?!?!?

Turns out depression can still come back after 4 years of being ok

Why do guys always make really good friendships awkward by asking or wanting to turn it into a relationship. The typical no girl has ever treated me like this before is such an overused phrase. Literally, maybe that's why no girl treats you so nicely or friendly before? Cause they don't want you to think they are doing this for a relationship?