Hal Jordan Memorial High School Graduate

you hardly knew i was alive… you were always patting jack or jim on the back.

you always had your head in the clouds. you were- a space case? is that what you thought of me?

screwed up again, didn't you, space-case?!

little chicken-shit that's your problem. no self-reliance. snively, whiny mama's boy. no work ethic

my father… used his power to bully us… to prove his manhood.

like maybe things with him would change if you could just give him what he wants. IF you could just take it like a man.

the narrative that hal was the odd one out in his family and the least favourite of his father has of course been changed recently. but it's so interesting how, when we first meet martin jordan, which is during the nineties, up until geoff johns starts writing green lantern, we're constantly told again and again that martin didn't love hal. that was the core of why hal idolised his father so much, he never got any love from his father in childhood and so he seeks to make him proud in adulthood. ultimately, parallax was a result of hal's traumas and it all began with his father.

i do feel like their recently changed relationship is kinda cheap. some people like to excuse it as "well why would hal idolise his abusive father? martin must've been a great dad" and that excuse never made sense to me! of course hal would want to make the parent whose love he never received proud, that's how he would've tried to earn his father's love in childhood too.

both versions of their relationship kinda coexist in my head as hal, after parallax at least, refusing to remember any of the bad memories he has of martin. there would've been moments when martin, while sober, would've shown at least some affection to hal and hal- desperate for that love- would've etched that into his memory. (<- hal also becoming an alcoholic just like his father, embodying not just his best traits- like being a pilot- but his worst ones as well.)

he's interested in his old man. how many fathers get to say that?

That said, YES it makes perfect sense for Hal to idolize the father who bullied, belittled, physically and verbally abused him. It makes sense for him to white-knuckle the moments of affection he got, the times his dad made him feel special. That’s textbook abused kid behavior.

Personally, I excused extreme abuse from someone who was supposed to be a ‘safe adult’, well up into my twenties before I recognized what they did to me as a kid was wrong. Because they were the one I idolized. They were cruel to me as a child, but then there were these rare, fleeting moments where they’d give just a little affection… a compliment, a touch on the shoulder, maybe even just a smile. And that would make me feel like a million bucks.

Because kids want to be liked by their parents. Hal’s dad denied him that almost all the time, made him feel small and powerless and unwanted… then sometimes, he made him feel special and loved. That is a perfect recipe for fucking with a kid’s affection and self-worth, and the effects carry over heavily into adulthood.

you hardly knew i was alive… you were always patting jack or jim on the back.

you always had your head in the clouds. you were- a space case? is that what you thought of me?

screwed up again, didn't you, space-case?!

little chicken-shit that's your problem. no self-reliance. snively, whiny mama's boy. no work ethic

my father… used his power to bully us… to prove his manhood.

like maybe things with him would change if you could just give him what he wants. IF you could just take it like a man.

the narrative that hal was the odd one out in his family and the least favourite of his father has of course been changed recently. but it's so interesting how, when we first meet martin jordan, which is during the nineties, up until geoff johns starts writing green lantern, we're constantly told again and again that martin didn't love hal. that was the core of why hal idolised his father so much, he never got any love from his father in childhood and so he seeks to make him proud in adulthood. ultimately, parallax was a result of hal's traumas and it all began with his father.

i do feel like their recently changed relationship is kinda cheap. some people like to excuse it as "well why would hal idolise his abusive father? martin must've been a great dad" and that excuse never made sense to me! of course hal would want to make the parent whose love he never received proud, that's how he would've tried to earn his father's love in childhood too.

both versions of their relationship kinda coexist in my head as hal, after parallax at least, refusing to remember any of the bad memories he has of martin. there would've been moments when martin, while sober, would've shown at least some affection to hal and hal- desperate for that love- would've etched that into his memory. (<- hal also becoming an alcoholic just like his father, embodying not just his best traits- like being a pilot- but his worst ones as well.)

he's interested in his old man. how many fathers get to say that?

i impress myself everyday

Hal that still struggles with going out for beers with the lanterns or Ollie or Barry. Hal that swore to himself that he’d only drink when he wanted to, not when he needed to. Hal that is scared to blur the lines in a moment of weakness. Hal that is terrified to endanger his willpower, bc it’s the only thing he has. Hal that never has alcohol in his fridge after missions. Hal that can’t help but linger in front of liquor stores and that damn supermarket aisle.

Hal that only talks about it when Roy or someone else he loves struggles with addiction, because his pain is only worth a damn when it can help someone else. Hal that keeps an eye out for everyone when they’re inebriated, that can’t help but monitor the drinks they take and check in with them before it turns into more.

(I used two different styles for this drawing, hehe)

[Hal & Guy cleaned up doodle]