((Well. Fuck.))

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@shotgundammit
((Well. Fuck.))

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((Fuck it.
Like for a youngish Sarge in your inbox))
((Oh. Oh no.
Brain has had a terrible idea))
((Also if you're new here, I need you to know the very dumb thing that has to do with my sarge fc.
If you haven't seen Stargate, then you don't know that my fc is Richard Dean Anderson.
And if that name isn't familiar, then you might recognise his more famous role;
AS MACGYVER
As the dude who literally bullshitted inventions to get out of situations.
If that isn't an apt fc I don't know what is))
((Fuckin. I have Sarge emotions. He loves his team so much. He can never say it. He's a brilliant man. He's completely nonsensical. He's obsessed with the fight. He just wants to rest.
He's so contradictory and under appreciated and I think he's interesting.
I am shaking Burnie Burns. What is his name))

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you know i dont think we talk about sarge’s actual intelligence enough. like he’s almost on par with loco in season 15 (im mean about everything after season 13 but im a sucker for the blues and reds, especially temple and loco). lets review here
he took a robot kit that was assumedly designated for alpha and built a robot that may be on paper a “dumb ai”, but its literally just because he wasnt made via cognitive impression modeling. lopez cant run equipment sure but he has almost as much intelligence and far more emotional capacity than ANY of the fragments in project freelancer. (i mean the only other dumb ai we know of in red vs blue are vic and f.i.l.s.s. vic is virtually capable of only one tone of voice and emotion, and the only time we shows actual emotion is when he begs dylan to kill him. and f.i.l.s.s. also did not show much genuine emotion until they found her with chairman hargrove and she had clearly been mistreated, to say the least.) lopez has shown a huge range of emotions, even with his robotic tone, and has shown to be great with humans and really aware of others emotions as well as his own. i mean he fell in love???
he completed an operation that swapped out nearly all of grif’s organs for simmons’, and made simmons a cyborg. by himself
when he and grif were at the digsite and simmons was in valhalla, sarge literally pieced together the ENTIRE situation, with explanations, just by tiny details.
he was an ODST and the only reason they kicked him out was because he built the ship’s nav A.I. a ROBOTIC BODY. he extracted an A.I. intended to stay within the ship and built it a body. not even with the robot kit he used to build lopez. just knowing him probably from scratch
sarge, with the robot HE built, knocked out and captured the biggest badass of freelancer that not even carolina could defeat, agent texas.
he then builds two more robot bodies, both to hold smart A.I.s, one a fragment (Tex/Beta) and one a full A.I. (Church/Alpha).
in the holo-chamber that lopez built, sarge asks simmons if he’s been messing with his jeep prototypes. this implies sarge designs, prototypes, and builds full custom cars???
he dismantles and (mostly successfully) re-assembles an entire goddamn UNSC mantis. i dont know about you guys but i cant even dismantle and re-assemble a LAPTOP let alone AN ENTIRE MILITARY ASSAULT DROID
lets not forget that on the moon vacation spot he built an army of evil robots to fight. an ARMY of EVIL ROBOTS. FROM SCRATCH.
ok i think you guys get the point. we love and appreciate sarge in this household
Season 8 gave us Sarge at his absolute peak, and I will not accept any other opinions on this. He was in his element, it was his time.
A reminder of all the badassery we got to witness from the typically incompetent Red Team leader:
He figured out the very specific situation at Valhalla from one seemingly normal radio conversation, displaying Sherlockian powers of deduction.
He successfully led and conducted a rescue operation for Simmons, in which he perfectly lured, distracted and took out Trained Freelancer Agent Washington from the fight. He also managed to grab his shotgun straight out of Wash's hand, like half a minute after Wash took it from him.
After having his entire worldview turned upside down, arguably being the one most affected by the truth about the Reds and Blues, he nonetheless rebounded the quickest among his team members and stepped up to respond to Church's recovery beacon in accordance with his new understanding of their situation. That takes real resilience and humility.
He gave a damn fine speech that rallied his demoralised troops in a personal and meaningful way, ironically (I think) becoming a real leader after learning that he never was one the first place.
After seeing that they weren't winning against the Meta, he took up Wash's suggestion and once again offered himself up as bait the same way he did with Wash - luring, distracting and setting up the Meta to be pulled off the cliff. Not to mention the fact of him insulting and shooting at the most terrifying mute in the galaxy in the most deliberate, head-on way.
He conveyed his plan to his team in what was essentially code (while being strangled by Agent Freaking Maine) and had faith that they would do the rest. And they did.
Overall, his communication game was on point in both directions, and he was an actual reasonable and competent leader. He knows and understands his team, and despite what he says, he cares enough about their wellbeing to put himself in potential harm's way for their sake (a feeling that is 100% mutual).
Not gonna lie, by the end of season 8, I would have followed Sarge anywhere.
Floatin’ on the cloud, can’t nobody come close to
independent Caboose RP blog for RVB. semi-selective, mun is 18+, asks are welcome. follows from airrichan.
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((...Also is this a good time to bring up ‘Maine was Hargrove’s son’ hc? Because that’s a fun one I have))
ncwblue:
Wash has to stop himself from asking what the divorce process was in Kentucky and how Sarge knew about it–assuming he actually knew. Another long-winded Sarge story for another day. “I don’t know. I worked with Hargrove, and I’d be willing to bet his wives weren’t the problem.”
He shrugs and nods with a kind of agreement. “You know, I ain’t gonna argue with that. That makes plenty of sense. No one we’ve met that came outta the Project was exactly the most agreeable”. A pause. “No offense”.

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ncwblue:
Inhale through the nose. Exhale through the mouth. Not today. “That comparison makes absolutely no sense, but sure. I suppose it’s better.”
“I mean it really does- I ain’t been married, but I’d still rather a proper divorce than a Kentucky one”. It’s perfectly logical, after all. “Though after a point I suppose you’d question your taste in women, if I were him”.
ncwblue:
“Not really sure I’d consider getting divorced and or cheated on ‘lucky’.”
“’Mean, it’s better than getting a twelve gauge in the back and a grave in the back yard”.
“Some people have all the luck”.
((Also I will get to the one reply I owe soon but if you want Sarge time just bother me. Do it. I don’t care))
((I LITERALLY CONNECTED THE DOTS IN THE SHOWER THE OTHER DAY CHURCH IS CHURCH NO MATTER HOW FAR REMOVED.))

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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((...I noticed a thing about the trailer. Please stand by for a gif))