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𓆩♡𓆪 michael jackson
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

JVL
todays bird

if i look back, i am lost

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NASA
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Discoholic 🪩

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taylor price

blake kathryn
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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got a request? send it here bby!
𓆩♡𓆪 michael jackson

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just want everyone to know that the heavily pregnant!reader begging michael to fuck her to induce labor fic is officially in the works
𔓘 thinking about Michael figuring out your obsession with his hands. (suggestive hmm)
It is impossible to deny that Michael's hands are huge! Not that you were complaining.
What happened is that you noticed he started handling things differently than usual. As if you could tell the effect it had on you.
It all started with him peeling oranges. He never peeled his own oranges; he found it too much work.
So, when he sat down in front of you, peeling his orange, while you were cutting some fruits for the children, you couldn't help but to find it unusual.
It was difficult for you to concentrate when he stuck his fingers between the orange peels, juice dripping, trying to remove the skin.
And it got worse.
"D'you want some grapes?" He said as you fed baby Blanket.
"Mhm?" You look at him. "Sure."
Focused on feeding little Blanket, you would open and close your mouth for him to imitate while you scooped the baby food back into his mouth with the silicone spoon.
You could sense the presence of a figure out of your visual field. A sudden coldness pressed against your lips making you stiff.
"Mhm! The he-"
"Eat it..." He says chuckling.
"I thought you were going to give me a bowl!"
"Well you're busy with your hands. Eat it." Michael smirks.
You huff and open your mouth.
Feeling his slender fingers going way more than necessary, you look at his eyes and he stared right at your lips pressing against his fingers.
It was a vision made in heaven. It was second only to your cozy pussy.
God, he couldn't help but mentally reprimand himself for thinking such filthy things, even knowing that you were his beloved dirty wife.
You take the grape between her teeth and even with his fingers still on your mouth, you pop it.
His eyes widen slightly. He chuckles.
"How did you manage to pop a grape with my fingers in your mouth?" He chuckles.
Smiling you say "I donno" while chewing.
As he turns his back, sucking his fingers, the mix of your saliva and grape juice were so delicious and so dirty.
He thinks he should tease you more like this.
Damn big hands UGHHH.
Requests open hihi.
P.Y.T.
michael jackson x female reader
━ ˙⋆✮ SUMMARY: michael can’t stop filming everything with his new video camera, including you.
━ ˙⋆✮ CONTENT: 18+, mdni, established relationship, thrad era!michael, we makin a sex tape y’all, michael pussy-drunk and telling the reader how pretty she is, use of the pet name angel a lot sorry, unprotected sex (not smart don’t do that), fuckin on the floor no decorum smh, praise kink, eye contact!!, soft dom/cocky michael, creampie
━ ˙⋆✮ AUTHOR’S NOTE: i typically write subby michael bc that just feels right to me BUT i thought it would be fun to experiment with a more playful/soft dom version of him for this one. idk i think if he got really comfortable with you he’d tease the shit outta you…. i’m talking borderline annoying likeeee please just shut up and gimme that dick
it is hotter than actual hell this week, holy shit
and it’s even worse when you’re on antidepressants

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Husband!Michael Headcanons
requested!
contains bad!era michael, fluff, smut (minors dni) p in v sex, creampie
husband!michael who takes you on tour with him, for he cannot bear the thought of ever being away from you for weeks.
Before you, going on tour was miserable for him. Yes, he loves his fans very dearly, but the sleep he loses and the muscle sore that creeps up in the end has him nearly forget why he ever agreed to do this in the first place.
Nine months of home videos
Pairing: Michael x reader
Content: in which every month of your pregnancy Michael records a new video
Video one, month one.
“Michael! I'm not even showing yet!” The camera panned out, your hand covering the lens, yet it still caught the smile on your face.
“I know, I know… I'm just so happy.” There was a slight shake in his voice, like he was on the verge of tears as he zoomed in, the camera shaking slightly as he let it fall to your stomach. The light from the morning sun sent a ray through the kitchen window that seemed like a sign from the heavens.
The soft sound of breathing filled the room. The camera caught every bit of the pure silence before cutting out.
i can imagine heavily pregnant!reader just being so clingy with michael. just holding his hand everywhere he goes. even to get a glass of water
clingy
featuring: michael jackson x pregnant!f!reader
sypnosis: michael has taken notice of how clingy you have become since being pregnant
warnings: pregnancy, fluff
wc: 460
an: just a short lil blurb. heavily pregnant reader would def be so super clingy
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Michael had noticed the change. He had noticed all of your changes since being pregnant, he was so observant, not wanting to miss a single thing.
He noticed how your bump continued growing a little bit bigger everyday. How foods you used to love, you could barely stand the smell anymore. The most striking thing that had changed, and admittedly his favorite, was how clingy you had become.
𝄞 ❤︎ριиκ ∂ινι∂єяѕ❤︎ 𝄞
pls cred ty ᨳິ ♡
cutie new pink theme

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be mine ⊱ michael jackson
⊱ thrad!michael x f!reader ◞ michael surprises you with a unexpected, special proposal
⊱ major fluff, marriage, proposal, sweet, words of affirmation, praise, michael surprising reader
okay, i've had it with all this talk about michael being this big ass dom in the bedroom.
….now why would OUR michael joseph act like that? don't get me wrong, i know it's fiction and it's fun.
but sometimes i wanna think about what it would really be like to make love to michael jackson. in truly any 'era' you could imagine. i'm talking about the kind of lover i know in my heart that he was. or maybe i'm bugging. nsfw ….
oh baby
featuring: dad!michael jackson x mom!pregnant!fem!reader
sypnosis: you go into labor while michael is on the set of "blood on the dance floor", and he drops everything to get to you
warnings: pregnant and labor, a couple of suggestive lines, fluff fluff fluff, michael is just absolutely whipped for you and baby prince, not proofread
wc: 1.4k
an: absolutely obsessed with lore of debbie going into labor while michael was on set in this fine ass suit.
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♡ — father's day
@ mature era!michael x female reader
summary: it's father's day and just like michael did for you on mother's day, being the hopelessly in love wife that you are, wants to celebrate and spoil him. themes: established marriage, oral (m!receiving), praise kink, soft dom!michael, emotional intimacy, clit stimulation, shower sex, doggy style, creampie, deeply in love author's note: reposted from my wattpad & ao3 part 1: mother's day
summary: newly wed michael and reader and some little moments in there new life together as one
a bit depressed at the thought of tomorrow
⁀➴ it had become a sort of ritual since you had moved in with him before you got married.
when michael first mentioned you moving in with him when you first got together, you had refused, adamant about having your own spaces as you gradually got to know each other. but after he had proposed, it was only right that you gave in to his begging.
now, after the pictures of you in your long, flowy dress and another with both of you together, michael with tears running down his face being placed across the hallway walls, a small but meaningful routine took place every morning.
most of the time you woke up before michael, the thin robe draping off of one shoulder after you had carelessly shrugged it on as you rubbed your eyes with your fist to wake up.
the water filled the stovetop kettle, the heavier it got, the more it began to shake in your hand as you struggled to hold it. turning and placing it on the stove, you braced your hands on the counter, head dipping and eyes shutting as you grew sleepy once more.
large hands softly wrapped around your waist, pulling your back to his chest. you leaned your head back against michael’s shoulder, feeling his lips pepper kisses across your exposed shoulder and neck.
“morning, sweet girl” he said, voice deep and laced with sleep.
you hummed, “morning”.
spinning in his arms, you placed a kiss against his lips before wrapping your arms around his neck and putting your head back onto his shoulder, looking up at him.
“did you sleep well?”
“i slept perfectly with you in my arms”, looking down at you, bringing his hand up to stroke your cheek and push the hair back from your face.
you pushed your face back into the soft material of his sleep shirt, breathing in his cologne that stuck to his skin. he chuckled, softly patting the back of your head and playing with your hair.
reluctantly pulling away, you lifted your hands to his face and rubbed your thumbs across the them, a small smile growing across your face as you stared at the man you love.
“do you want tea?”
he nodded, pressing his cheek further into your palm, “please”
you giggled, dropping your hands from his face and turning to grab the mugs from the cabinet.
“what type of tea do you want?”
“which ever one you’re having, sweet girl”
his hands moved to grip your waist, always needing to touch you because he was self admittedly obsessed.
⁀➴ something had been off with you recently and not only had you noticed it, but so had michael.
you constantly complained about a metallic taste in your mouth, eating candy throughout the day to try and mask the disgusting taste. alongside that, you were absolutely exhausted all the time from the moment you woke up to the moment you slept.
michael hadn’t noticed the other things like your missed period but he could certainly tell something was wrong, however he just couldn’t put a finger on it.
so when your friend had suggested that you may be pregnant, you immediately thought of how (little) protection you had used and how michael would react.
you were now staring at the pregnancy test, the two lines blaring red indicating that you were definitely pregnant. the other two were the same.
your mind was completely blank, how would michael react? you both had talked about having a family together one day, but did he mean this soon?
hiding the pregnancy test in your bedside drawer, you planned to reveal it to him and make the occasion as special as possible.
so now, three days after finding out you were pregnant, a cute baby outfit with ‘soon to be a daddy’ written across it with the three pregnancy tests beside it.
you paced in your shared bedroom, waiting for michael to come home from the studio. once you heard the sound of the door opening and him calling out, “baby?”, you knew it was time.
“in the bedroom!”
you heard his hat hitting the table and his shoes being kicked off by the door before he ran up the stairs.
“i missed you so mu-”
the nervous look on your face alongside the balloons caught him off guard, taking a step into the bedroom and properly reading the words and getting a closer look at the tears.
“are those… are we?…”
you nodded, eyes filling with tears as you covered your mouth.
“oh my gosh… oh my gosh!”
he jumped towards you, hands holding your face to press a tentative kiss to your forehead.
“we’re having a baby!”
you squealed, jumping up and down with him, the excitement melting away the stress that you had previously felt.
he got to his knees, holding your stomach and pressing multiple kisses to it.
“i can’t wait to meet you” he whispered, forehead pressed against your stomach.
later that night, as you both got comfy in bed whilst wrapped up in each others arms, he said a gentle confession.
“i couldn’t have asked for a better person to start a family with… i can’t wait to be a daddy”
⁀➴ michael stepped in from the studio, the sun had set long ago as he had hyper-fixated on an idea that would not leave his head.
he shut the door quietly, looking up the stairs to see if you were coming to greet him or if you were fast asleep, exhausted from being a newborns mother.
he walked up, figuring that you were already asleep, passing the nursery that the baby was not ready to sleep in yet but spotting something.
you were sat on the cushioned rocking chair, baby held in your arms and hair tied up out of your face.
you rocked back and forth whilst she stared at you as you spoke.
“and mama loves you very much. yes i do! aaand daddy loves you very much.. yes he does!!”
she cooed at you, a big toothless smile across her face as she reached up to grab at your nose.
“you are so loved by us and you are going to have the best childhood surrounded by love”
michael leaned against the doorway, the wood creaking slightly under his weight causing you to look over at him.
“oh look, darling, there’s daddy”
he walked in, hands tucked into his pockets and bending to be face to face with his daughter.
“hi baby! i missed you so much!”
he looked at you, his hands slightly extended in her direction to ask for silent permission.
you nodded, passing her over to him before standing and stretching your arms and back.
he spoke to her quietly before turning to look at you, one arm wrapping around your waist and pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head.
“how are you, sweet girl?”
“i’m good, honey, how was the studio?”
he nodded, explaining to you about how he had nearly finished the song and came up with a solid plan for another. michael guided you down the hallway to your shared bedroom whilst the other pressed his baby girl firmly against his chest to keep her safe.

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⟢ Calling sub!mikey daddy — 18+ (mdni)
I’m probably so annoying about this because i incorporate it into basically every fic, but i just…can’t stop writing you calling michael daddy solely to tease him, and not even because you like it for yourself. You do it just to get a rise out of him too, not even only in sexual contexts. You’ll greet him in your living room after a studio session, already feeling pent up from a day without his touch and wanting to tease him. “Hi daddy, how was work?” You’ll be golfing with him and his siblings and remember that they call him big daddy as a joke, so you join in because you know it’s different when you say it. “Yeah, big daddy. I thought you were good at golf.” He’ll be balls deep inside of you, and you can feel his dick twitch, signaling he’s closer to his unraveling, so you give him that extra push he loves to hear from you. “F-fuck, daddy. Cum inside. Make me a mommy.”
The only satisfaction you get from it is his reaction; he’ll be flustered and it’ll stroke his ego a LOT, mostly because that’s the kind of stuff he saw in porn when he was inexperienced, so it makes him less insecure about being submissive. But it’ll also mindfuck him because how’s he daddy but you’re always in charge? Isn’t that reserved for girls who let their guys take control? Why does being called a name with such…assertiveness behind it but being a living footstool for you turn him on so much? As much as he enjoys it, he still feigns being disinterested with the honorific.
The first time you say it, he almost loses his shit. “Oh, God. That’s so dirty!” he’ll giggle, trying to ignore the way it makes blood flow through his whole body. Or, the first time you actually find out about the siblings’ big daddy joke, and he gets flustered because of the devious look on your face at the information. When you two sneak off from the group, he almost…cockily explains to you how the nickname is because of his star power. “Yeah, they call me that because of all the girls who used to say it to me on tour…Feels special comin’ from you though.” And there are the times where you’ll have been teasing him all day, letting him “play” dominant outside in public but making him try to take everything he wants in bed, saying stuff like “You want me to touch you? Oh, but you’re daddy, remember? You should know exactly what to do. You should know how to take it on your own,” and he’ll respond by saying “S-stop calling me that,” or, “You’re right, I’m not daddy. I’ll stop pretendin’, please” or, “No…I’m angelface…” when he’s at his weakest.
⋆˚࿔
A/N: Can you guys tell i love power play
┃ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ “unplanned ; part two”
୨ৎ pairing — michael x fem!reader
୨ৎ synopsis — after michael finds out you're pregnant, he has to choose between taking care of you or his tour. either way, he makes it up to you in the end.
୨ৎ themes — pregnancy, soft!michael, gentle sex, reconcilliation, pining, touch-starved, slow burn (kind of), no use of y/n
୨ৎ word count — 8.5k (yeah i know)
୨ৎ note — i spent like 6 hours writing this as requested by a few of you. your wish is my command. i hope it hits as good as part one. i don't know if a part 3 is required, but i guess we'll see... also i beg can y'all give me some fic ideas, literally anything you want, just ask me. ya girl needs some inspo!!!
୨ৎ if anyone wants to read part one first, click here!
୨ৎ tags!! — @achingletters @backupschmuck @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @svtbpbts @moonwalker4you @pr3ttiest-applehead @bluugangsta @randomidk1012 @buttismine @babyibeenbad @cedeni-beanie @2young4ublog @loveposiie @eternal-life94 @fleurenoir @mrsjacksonnnnnn @shatteredsporecascade @mangooelz @magglesx
You'd been in bed for as long as you could remember, laying on your side with the covers pulled to your collarbone, staring at the seam where the wall met the ceiling. The sheets smelled like both of you. His cologne, still embedded in the pillowcase from nights before everything cracked open and every time you inhaled it, something behind your sternum tightened another fraction.
Down the hallway, you heard a sound. Instinctively familiar, the door knob turning. It plagued your body with a sickening anticipation. Then came footsteps, slow and deliberate, the pace of a man deciding something with every step. They moved through the hallway, past the bathroom, past the linen closet.
You paused your breathing.
The bedroom handle turned with impossible care, as if the gentleness of it could erase the entire day.
And then he was there. A silhouette in the low hallway light, tall and narrow, one hand on the frame. He stood in the threshold for a moment, just looking at you, even though you hadn't turned over, hadn't moved, hadn't given any sign you were awake.
The door closed, the room reclaiming its earlier darkness, the atmosphere engulfed with unanswered questions and dread. Mainly on your part.
He moved through the room the way he moved through everything. Quietly, barely disturbing the air. You heard the whisper of a shirt pulled over his head, the soft thud of it landing on the chair. His belt buckle, unclasped with one hand, metallic and brief. The rustle of cotton as he stepped out of his pants.
Then the bed shifted.
He got in on his side, slowly, like he was lowering himself onto something fragile and for a moment, he just lay on his back, not touching you, not speaking. The distance between your bodies might as well have been a canyon. You could feel his warmth though, even with six inches of mattress between you, involuntary and gravitational, and you hated that your body responded before your heart had caught up.
You turned over, just enough to face him, your cheek pressing into the pillow, your eyes adjusting until you could make out his profile against the ceiling's shadow. His jaw. The slope of his nose. His lips pressed together, not tight but closed, holding something in. His eyes were open, staring upward, unmoving when he felt you shift.
Your hand found him before your brain gave it permission.
It moved across the sheet, slow and tentative, landing on his chest. The warmth of his skin, the faint rhythm of his heart beneath your palm. His breathing hitched almost imperceptibly. Your fingers rested there, barely pressing and you felt his heartbeat stutter once before finding its rhythm again.
He didn't move your hand away.
For a long time, that was all. Your hand on his chest. His heartbeat under your palm. The dark around you both like something living, something that had swallowed the whole day. Him finding out about the pregnancy, the tension but most of all, going to bed without a kiss, and was now digesting it, turning it into something survivable.
Then his hand came up and covered yours.
Not a grip. Not a pull. Just settling over your knuckles, warm and long, his thumb tracing one slow line across the back of your hand. Once. Twice. Something cracked in your chest, not breaking exactly but giving, like ice in spring and your eyes burned.
He turned his head toward you.
In the dark his eyes were luminous, still his and the way he looked at you was something you hadn't seen since before the vitamins, before the fight, before the spare room. Raw and unguarded. The look of a man who had spent the entire day armoured up and had just, in the space of a breath, taken it all off.
"Come here." He spoke, quiet, barely above a whisper, the kind of voice he used when he forgot to perform, when the softness underneath everything surfaced and he let you hear it.
You moved toward him and he met you halfway. His arm slid beneath you, his hand settling on your back and then you found yourself against him. Your face in the hollow of his throat, your body molded to his, your leg curling over his beneath the sheets. He held you. Not loosely, not carefully. Held you the way you hold something you've been afraid to lose, his arm tightening around your shoulders, his other hand cradling the back of your head, fingers threading into your hair.
You breathed him in. Cologne and skin and something underneath both that was just him, the scent you associated with safety and danger in equal measure. Your face pressed harder into his throat because you couldn't stop it, because the dam was cracking and you needed to be as close to him as possible when it happened.
His chin rested on top of your head, his breath moving through your hair.
"Don't." He murmured and you felt the vibration of it against your cheekbone. "Please don't cry. I can't-" His voice broke, sudden and wrong. His arm tightened and he pressed his lips to the top of your head, holding them there. "I can't take it when you cry. I'm barely holding it together as it is."
You weren't crying. Not yet. But you were close, teetering and your fingers curled against his chest. "I'm sorry."
"I know."
"No, Michael, I'm sorry. I should have told you…"
"I know." His hand moved in your hair, slow and rhythmic. "I know you should have. And I know why you didn't and I hate that I understand both of those things at the same time."
You closed your eyes. His heartbeat filled your ear, steady now, like he'd willed it into calm.
He shifted, pulling back enough to look at you. His hand left your hair and came to your face, fingers so gentle you barely felt them, tracing the line of your cheekbone, your jaw, the corner of your mouth. He pushed your hair back, tucking it behind your ear, and his hand lingered there, his thumb brushing your temple.
"You're so beautiful." He said.
Quiet, almost involuntary, like the words had slipped past whatever wall he'd built to contain them. His thumb traced the curve of your eyebrow and his eyes followed it, memorising you, relearning you like he'd been away for years instead of hours.
"I keep looking at you and I think-” He paused. “How does someone who looks like this choose someone like me?" His hand stilled. His eyes met yours, too bright, his jaw tightening like he was fighting something physical. "And then I remember that you didn't even trust me enough to tell me the most important thing."
Your breath caught.
It landed exactly the way he meant it to. Not cruel, not accusatory, but true and the truth of it was worse than cruelty because it was a compliment and a wound at the same time, beauty tangled with betrayal, love wrapped around the thing that had nearly broken it. His hand was still on your face, still warm, still achingly gentle. He was telling you that you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and that you had hurt him more than anyone ever had. Both things were sitting in his palm simultaneously.
Your face crumpled as the first tear slid sideways across the bridge of your nose and landed on his wrist.
He kissed your forehead, long and slow, his lips pressing into your skin like he was trying to leave something permanent there. Then your closed eyelids, left then right, his mouth so soft it felt more like breath than contact. Then the tip of your nose. The wet track of the tear on your cheek.
"Stop." He whispered against your skin, as though it was a plea. "Please baby."
But you cried anyway. Quietly, your body shaking against his, your face buried in his neck and he held you through it, his hand on the back of your head, his mouth moving against your hair, murmuring things that might have been words or might have been sounds, the kind of language that exists before meaning, when all someone is trying to say is I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.
When the crying slowed and your breathing evened out, his hand moved from your hair down your spine, each vertebra receiving its own small pressure, settling on the curve of your back. His other hand found yours on his chest and intertwined your fingers together.
The silence that followed was different from the ones before it. Softer. Less like absence and more like a held breath. His heartbeat under your ear had slowed to something deep and steady, the rhythm of a body preparing to rest.
His lips brushed your forehead once more.
"We'll figure it out.” He murmured. "I don't know how yet. But we will."
You didn't answer. You didn't need to. Your fingers tightened around his and you pressed your face into his throat and felt his pulse against your lips. Slowly the edges of everything began to soften. The hurt didn't disappear. The fear didn't dissolve. But they blurred, just enough that the last thing you felt before sleep pulling you under was the weight of his hand drifting from your back to your stomach, settling there gently, carefully, like he was holding something he couldn't see yet but already loved.
–––––––
The sunlight changed everything.
You woke to it filtering through the curtains, thin and golden, striping the sheets and warming the space between your bodies. The heaviness of the night before had settled into something quieter, a bruised kind of peace and for a while you just lay there, watching dust particles drift through the slanted light.
His hand was still on your stomach.
He was awake. You knew it before you opened your eyes, before you registered the particular quality of his breathing, the way it was too even, too controlled. He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling the way you'd been staring at it the night before. His fingers were resting just below your navel, warm and still, like they'd been placed there deliberately and then forgotten.
You shifted closer. His arm tightened around you instinctively, pulling you into his side, his chin finding the top of your head.
"Morning." He murmured. His voice was rough, scraped thin by sleep and the crying of the night before.
"Morning."
Neither of you moved. The house was quiet around you, the particular silence of early morning when the world outside hadn't fully woken. His heartbeat was slow and steady beneath your ear, the rhythm of something that had survived the night and was still beating.
"I've been thinking." He spoke, his voice cutting through that unbearing silence.
You waited, patiently.
"About the tour." His thumb traced a slow circle against your stomach. "I'm going to call Frank DiLeo today. Tell him I'm not going."
You pushed yourself up on your elbow. He was looking at you, his eyes dark and serious, his jaw set in the way it got when he'd made a decision and was waiting for the world to catch up.
"Michael."
"I mean it. I'm not leaving you. Not now."
"You can't cancel the Victory Tour."
"I can do whatever I want."
"You can't." You touched his jaw, your fingers gentle against the tension he was holding there. "This is the biggest thing that's ever happened to you. To your brothers. You can't just walk away from it because of me."
"Because of us." He corrected, a gentle reminder that it took two to make a baby. His hand pressed flatter against your stomach, protective and sure. "You think I'm going to leave you alone with a baby growing inside you? You think I could stand on a stage somewhere while you're here by yourself?"
"I won't be by myself. Your mother is twenty minutes away. I have the house. I have everything I need."
His jaw tightened further. "It doesn't feel right."
"It is right." You held his gaze. "Michael, I hid this from you for three weeks. I kept the most important thing I've ever told anyone a secret and I watched it break your heart. I'm not going to let you throw away the Victory Tour on top of it. I won't be the reason you let your brothers down. Not after everything else."
His eyes searched your face. You could see the war in them, the pull between what he wanted and what he knew was true. His fingers twitched against your stomach like they were trying to hold onto something that was already slipping away.
"I'm going to miss everything." He said quietly. "The first time you feel a kick, seeing you get bigger. I'm going to miss all of it."
"You won't miss a thing." You covered his hand with yours, pressing it more firmly against your stomach. "I'll call you every night. I'll tell you everything, every single detail. I'll send you pictures if I can figure out how to get them developed without you seeing them first."
That earned you something. Not quite a smile, but the ghost of one, the faintest softening around his mouth.
"You're stubborn." He said.
"I learned from the best."
He exhaled, long and slow, his eyes closed. His hand turned beneath yours, his fingers lacing through your knuckles and he brought your joined hands to his mouth, pressing his lips gently against your knuckles, holding them there.
"I don't want to go." He whispered against your skin.
"I know."
"I want to be here. With you. Every single day."
"I know." You leaned down, pressing your forehead against his. "But you have to. For them. For the music. For everything you've worked for." You paused, your voice dropping. "And for me. I need to know I didn't ruin this for you."
His eyes opened. Close like this, his lashes were impossibly long, fanning against his cheekbones and the look he gave you was stripped of everything but the raw, complicated truth of the situation – he didn't want to leave, he had to leave and he was going to carry the guilt of it like a stone in his chest for the next five months.
"You didn't ruin anything." He said. "You hear me? Nothing."
You nodded, not trusting your voice.
He pulled you down against him, wrapping both arms around you, his face buried in your hair and you lay there in the morning light, tangled together, holding onto the last few hours before the world outside started pulling him away.
"I'll call you every night." He said into your hair. "Every single night. And if I can't call, I'll write. I'll send you something every day so you know I'm thinking about you."
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to." His arms tightened. "I want to make sure you never, not for one second, think you're alone in this."
You closed your eyes and pressed your face into his throat, breathing him in, memorising the smell and the warmth and the particular way his heartbeat felt against your cheek, because by next week, he would be gone. The bed would be too big and the house would be too quiet. The only thing connecting you would be the sound of his voice through a landline at two in the morning.
He left on a Tuesday.
The first week was the hardest. Not because of the silence. There was no silence, not really, not with the house still holding his imprint in every room, his cologne on the pillow, his coffee mug on the draining board, the indent his body had pressed into the armchair by the window. The absence was loud. That was the problem. It had a frequency, a weight, a particular quality of emptiness that settled into the rooms like weather and refused to leave.
You found his handwriting everywhere. A grocery list on the counter in his loose, slanted script. A note tucked inside the bathroom mirror frame, rehearsal 6, don't wait up, from weeks ago, before the vitamins, before everything. A phone number scrawled on the back of a receipt in his jacket pocket and you stared at it for ten minutes before realising it was his mother's.
You were four months pregnant. Barely showing, just the slightest curve beneath your clothes, a rounding that could have been mistaken for a heavy meal. But you could feel it, the new density of your body, the way your centre of gravity had shifted just enough to make you move differently, more carefully, like you were carrying something precious in both hands. Which you were.
The calls came after midnight.
Always. No matter what city he was in, no matter how many hours he'd spent on stage, his voice found its way to you through the wire in the small hours, when the hotels were quiet and his brothers had gone to their rooms. When he was alone with the particular exhaustion that followed performing for sixty thousand people.
The first call, you picked up on the first ring. You'd been sitting in bed, the phone on the nightstand, the receiver warm from where your hand had been resting on it and when it rang you grabbed it so fast the cord caught on the lamp.
"Hey, baby."
His voice. Rough and low, the kind of tiredness that lives in the bones, but underneath it that unmistakable softness, the one that existed only for you, the one no interviewer or camera or audience had ever heard.
"Hey." You pressed the receiver harder against your ear, like proximity could close the distance. "How was tonight?"
"Good. Kansas City. They were loud." A pause. You could hear him moving, the rustle of sheets, the creak of a mattress. "I kept thinking about you during She's Out of My Life. I always think about you during that one, but tonight it was different. I almost couldn't finish it."
"Michael."
"I'm serious. I got to the bridge and I saw your face. I had to close my eyes and breathe for a second. Randy gave me a look."
You smiled despite yourself, pressing your face into his pillow. It still smelled like him. "What did you tell him?"
"Nothing. I just sang the rest with my eyes closed. They're used to it."
The line hummed between you, that particular quality of distance made audible and you could hear the geography of it; the miles, the state lines, the empty hotel room he was lying in — all compressed into the faint static on the wire.
"How's the baby?" He asked, his voice dropping half a register when he said it, like the word itself was sacred, like saying it too loudly might break something.
"Good. I think I felt something today. A flutter. I'm not sure."
"A flutter?"
"Like… I don't know how to describe it. Like a tiny muscle moving. It might have been nothing."
"It wasn't nothing." His voice was thick now, the kind of thickness that meant his eyes were bright and you could picture him lying in some anonymous hotel bed with his arm over his face, the receiver pressed to his ear, trying to hold himself together from two thousand miles away. "Tell me everything. Every single thing."
"There's nothing to tell. I made pasta. Your mother called. I fell asleep on the couch at eight and woke up at ten with a crick in my neck."
"You need to sleep in the bed."
"The bed's too big."
Silence. The wrong kind.
"I know." He said finally. "I know it is."
He wrote you letters.
They arrived in plain white envelopes, his handwriting on the front, your name and the Hayvenhurst address in that unmistakable slant. Sometimes there was a return address, sometimes not, it all depended on whether he'd known where he'd be next. You found the first one in the mailbox on a Thursday, a week or so after he'd left and you stood in the driveway holding it like it was made of glass.
Inside, a single sheet of hotel stationery. No city name printed at the top. He'd chosen one of the blank ones, like he didn't want you to know where he was, like the words themselves were more important than the geography.
I keep reaching for you at night. My hand finds the cold part of the sheet and I remember. The baby is the size of a mango now. I looked it up in a book at a bookstore in Denver. I bought the book. I'll mail it to you. I love you. I'm sorry I'm not there. I love you. -M.
You read it seven times standing in the driveway. Then you folded it carefully along its original crease and put it in the drawer of your nightstand, next to the phone, where you could reach it when the nights got long.
The second letter arrived two days later. This one was longer, written on the back of a setlist, the names of songs half-visible beneath his words.
Victory went well tonight. Jermaine was good, I think he's trying. We don't talk about it but I can tell. I danced so hard my knees are shaking. I keep thinking… when I come home you'll be so much further along. Five months. You'll be so big. I want to see it. I want to see you so bad it makes my chest hurt. Is that normal? Does everyone feel like this or is it just me being me? Sometimes I think I feel too much. You're the only person who's never made me feel like that's a problem.
I drew something on the other side. Don't laugh.
You turned the paper over. A small sketch, quick and unpractised, of a baby. Disproportionate head, enormous eyes, tiny curled fists. It was terrible yet it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen.
You held it against your chest and cried in the kitchen for fifteen minutes.
The weeks accumulated. Your body changed with a quiet insistence that surprised you, the curve of your stomach deepening, your skin tightening, your centre of gravity shifting forward until you moved through the house with a different cadence, slower, more deliberate, the way someone moves when they're negotiating with their own body.
You called him on the nights he couldn't call you. The hotel numbers were written on the inside cover of the book he'd sent you: What to Expect When You're Expecting, dog eared at the chapter on the fifth month. And sometimes you'd dial and the phone would ring and ring and you'd let it ring six times before hanging up, knowing he was on stage, knowing he'd call back later, but needing to hear the ringing anyway, needing to try.
On the nights he answered, the conversations were always the same and always different. He wanted details. Every detail. What you'd eaten, how you'd slept, whether your back hurt, whether the baby had moved, whether you'd been to the doctor, what the doctor had said. He catalogued it all, storing each piece of information like a man storing provisions for winter and you could hear the hunger in his voice, the need to be present in a body that was two thousand miles away.
"I want to be there." He said one night, his voice barely above a whisper. The call had come late, past two and he sounded wrecked, the kind of tired that lives behind the eyes. "I want to be there for all of it. I keep imagining you walking around the house with your stomach out and I can't… I can't cope when I think about it. I should be there."
"You are here." You said. "Every night on this phone, you're here."
"It's not the same."
"I know."
"I want to touch you. I want to put my hand on your stomach and feel it move. I want to-" He stopped. You heard him swallow. "I'm coming home. As soon as this leg is done. I'm coming straight home."
"You have three more cities."
"I know. But after that, I'm coming home to you."
The letters kept coming. Some short, some long, all in his handwriting, all carrying some fragment of his life on the road that he wanted you to hold. A pressed flower from a venue in Detroit. A Polaroid of the crowd in Chicago, sixty thousand faces blurred into a single sea of light and on the back he'd written ‘they were all looking at me but I was only thinking about you.’ A napkin from a restaurant in New York with a lipstick print on it and beneath it in his script: some woman kissed me on the cheek. I wiped it off. I only want yours.
You kept them all. The drawer of your nightstand filled with white envelopes and scraps of paper and pieces of a man who was trying to love you from a distance with the only tools he had. On the nights when the bed was too big, the house was too quiet and the baby was pressing against your ribs in a way that made you ache for someone to share it with, you'd open the drawer and spread them across the sheets, reading them until his voice was in your head, warm and close, pretending he was right there.
Five months now. The bump had arrived fully, unmistakable, the kind that changed the way you existed in the world; how you sat, how you slept, how you reached for things on high shelves, how you caught strangers eyes at the grocery store. You were small framed, always had been and the pregnancy was conspicuous on you in a way that drew attention, that made people look twice, that turned a private experience into something public.
You wore his shirts when you missed him most. They didn't fit anymore, not properly, the buttons straining across your stomach, but the fabric still held his smell and that was enough, that was everything. Some nights you'd sleep in one of his Victory Tour crew shirts with the sleeves rolled up and his letters spread on the pillow beside you, the phone within arm's reach, waiting.
He was coming home in two weeks.
––––––
You heard the car before you saw it.
A low engine turning onto the long drive, gravel crunching beneath tires and your whole body still in the kitchen where you'd been standing with your hands on the counter, pretending to read a recipe you had no intention of making. The sound grew closer. Stopped.
A door opened. Then closed.
Footsteps on the front path, quick at first, then slower, the way someone slows when they're approaching something they've been imagining for five months and suddenly can't believe is real.
The front door opened.
"Baby?"
His voice filled the house like light fills a room, instant and total. Something inside you cracked wide open, not painfully but completely, the way a shell cracks when what's inside is ready. You pressed your palms flat against the counter because your hands were shaking and you needed one second, just one second, to breathe before you turned around.
"Kitchen." You called back, your voice coming out steady. You didn't know how.
Footsteps down the hall. The particular cadence of his walk, lighter than anyone else's, almost silent, the walk of a man who had spent his life learning to move without being noticed until he wanted to be.
Then he was in the doorway.
He stopped.
His bag slid from his shoulder and hit the floor with a soft thud. He didn't look at it, didn't look at anything except you, his eyes travelling from your face down to your stomach and staying there. His lips parted. His hand came up and pressed against the doorframe like he needed something to hold onto.
"Oh." He breathed. Just that. A single syllable, wrecked and reverent, and his eyes were already bright, already glassing over, he hadn't moved, hadn't taken a single step into the kitchen, like the sight of you had rooted him to the floor.
You looked down at yourself. His shirt, the black Victory Tour crew shirt you'd been wearing for three days because it smelled like him, stretched across a stomach that was undeniably, unmissably there. Five months. The curve was high and round, changing the entire architecture of your small frame, and there was no hiding it, no mistaking it for anything other than what it was.
"Hi." You spoke, a shyness latching to your vocal chords.
He crossed the kitchen in four strides. His hands found your face first, tilting it up and he kissed you, long, deep and shaking, his thumbs wet against your cheeks before you even realised you were crying. Then his mouth was on your forehead, your eyelids, the bridge of your nose, kissing you the way he'd kissed you that night in bed, like each point of contact was a prayer. Then he was dropping, his knees hitting the tile, both hands sliding from your face down your neck, your collarbones, your chest and settling on your stomach.
He pressed his palms flat against the curve and his head bowed forward, his shoulders shaking.
"Michael."
"I'm here." His voice was muffled against your shirt, his breath warm through the fabric. "I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't here."
His hands moved across your stomach slowly, learning its shape, mapping the new geography of your body with trembling fingers. He pushed the shirt up, just enough to expose the skin and pressed his cheek against the swell, his eyes closed, his lashes dark against his cheekbones. You threaded your fingers into his hair and held him there while he cried quietly against your bare skin.
"Look at you." He whispered. "Look at what you did while I was gone."
"What we did."
He shook his head, not in disagreement but in wonder and kissed your stomach once, twice, three times, each kiss deliberate and reverent, his lips lingering against the taut skin like he was trying to communicate with whatever was growing inside you through touch alone.
"I missed everything." He murmured. "I missed all of it."
"You didn't miss anything. I told you every detail."
"You told me with words, it's not the same." He looked up at you from the floor, his face open and wrecked, his hands still cradling your stomach. "I needed to see it. I needed to be here for it. Every day I was gone I-" He broke off, pressing his forehead against your belly. "Don't ever let me leave again. If I talk about leaving, you tie me to a chair."
You laughed, wet and shaky, pulling gently at his hair until he looked at you. "Get up. Come on. You've been home for thirty seconds and you're already on the floor."
"I like it down here." But he rose, his hands trailing up your body like he was afraid to lose contact. When he was standing again, he pulled you against him, carefully, one arm around your shoulders, the other hand finding the small of your back, and you breathed him in, cologne and the faint staleness of travel. It was the best thing you'd ever smelled.
He didn't let go of you for the rest of the afternoon.
In the living room, he sat with you between his legs, your back against his chest, his hands resting on your stomach, feeling for movement with the concentration of a man listening for a signal through static. You told him about the doctor's appointment, the measurements, the heartbeat on the monitor and he asked questions, quiet, careful questions, the kind that revealed he'd been reading the book, all the books, memorising the milestones he'd been absent for.
"Has the doctor said everything's okay? The measurements, are they-"
"Everything's fine. Right on track."
"And you? How are you sleeping?"
"Better now."
His arms tightened. He understood what that meant. The bed, the empty side, the nights spent reaching for someone who wasn't there. He pressed his mouth against your temple and held it there, breathing you in.
"I talked to the doctor." He said after a while. His voice was careful, measured, the way it got when he was preparing something. "Before I left… I called and asked if it was okay to… y’know? After five months. She said it was fine. As long as we're careful."
You turned your head to look at him. His cheeks were flushed, a rare and visible blush spreading beneath his brown skin, looking at a fixed point on the wall like he could will the embarrassment away.
"You called my doctor?"
"I called our doctor." His jaw tightened, then softened. "I wanted to make sure. For tonight. I've been thinking about tonight for five months and I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to- that it would be safe."
Your chest ached. The carefulness of him, the way he'd planned this, called ahead, done his research, all so he could touch you without fear. You reached up and cupped his jaw, turning his face toward yours.
"It's safe." You said. "We're safe."
His eyes found yours. Dark, luminous, carrying five months of wanting and worrying and missing. His hand moved from your stomach to your hip, his fingers pressing gently into the curve of bone there.
"Show me the pictures first." He said. "The sonogram. You said you had them."
You'd been waiting for this.
You extracted yourself from his arms, ignoring his sound of protest and went to the nightstand drawer. Beneath the letters, beneath the pressed flower, the Polaroid and the napkin with the lipstick print, was a plain white envelope. You carried it back to the living room and placed it in his hands.
He held it like it was alive.
His fingers opened the flap slowly, delicately and he drew out the small black and white photographs. Grainy, blurred at the edges, the particular ghostly quality of a sonogram image, shapes that could have been anything but weren't, that were unmistakably, irrevocably someone.
He stared.
His thumb traced the outline of the profile. The curve of the skull. The suggestion of a nose, a chin, a mouth. The tiny hand, fingers splayed, caught mid movement by the machine's flash.
"That's the baby." He whispered.
"That's the baby."
"That's-" His voice cracked. He pressed the image closer to his face, as if proximity could sharpen the resolution and his other hand found your stomach, pressing against it, connecting the two dimensional ghost in the photograph with the three dimensional reality beneath his palm. "That's a whole person in there."
"That's a whole person."
He looked up at you. His eyes were streaming now, unchecked, the tears running freely down his cheeks and he wasn't wiping them away, wasn't trying to stop. The look on his face was something you'd never seen before. Not from him, not from anyone, a kind of awe that went beyond emotion into something closer to transcendence.
"Do you know what it is?" he asked. "Did they tell you?"
You'd been holding this for a week. Saving it, waiting for this exact moment, for his face, for his eyes, for the way he'd be looking at you when the words landed.
"It's a girl." You said.
He went absolutely still.
The photographs trembled in his hand. His mouth opened and closed and opened again, no sound coming out, just the shape of words forming and dissolving, and then his face crumpled entirely, his composure shattering like glass. He pulled you toward him with both arms and buried his face in your neck and sobbed.
Not crying. Sobbing. Deep, full-body heaves that shook both of you, his arms locked around you like you were the only solid thing in a dissolving world. His tears ran hot against your collarbone and his breath came in broken gulps. Michael said your name, just your name, over and over, like a mantra, like a prayer, like a man who had just been given something so far beyond what he deserved that his body couldn't process it.
"A girl." He choked out. "A girl. We're having a girl."
"We're having a girl."
"I'm going to be… I'm going to be a father. To our little girl." He pulled back, his face destroyed, beautiful, open in a way he never allowed himself to be in front of cameras or crowds. "She's going to look like you. She's going to have your face and your eyes, she’s going to be beautiful, sweetheart."
He pressed the sonogram against his chest with one hand and held you with the other.
"I'm going to be so good to her." He whispered. "I'm going to give her everything. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there for every single thing. I'm not going to be my father. I'm not going to be anything like him. I'm not going to-"
"You're not going to be him." You held his face in both hands. "You hear me? You're already different. You already love her this much and she's not even here yet."
He nodded, unable to speak, pressing his forehead against yours, the sonogram crumpled gently between your bodies. You breathed together until the shaking subsided and the tears slowed, the room coming back into focus.
He carried you to bed that night.
Not literally, though he would have if you'd let him. Instead he walked beside you with his hand on the small of your back, guiding you down the hallway like you were made of something precious, and when you reached the bedroom he pulled back the covers, waiting for you to settle before climbing in beside you.
For a long moment he just looked at you.
Lying on your side, facing him, the curve of your stomach between you, his Victory Tour shirt stretched tight across it and his eyes moved over your face, your throat, your collarbones, the swell of your breasts now heavy and full with pregnancy, the impossible dome of your belly, taking in every inch of you with the kind of attention he usually reserved for choreography, for music, for the things that mattered most.
"I don't want to hurt you." He said.
"You won't."
"I might. You're so…" His hand hovered over your stomach without touching it. "You're carrying our daughter in there. I don't want to-"
"Michael." You caught his hand and pressed it flat against your belly. "The doctor said it's fine. You said the doctor said it's fine."
"I know, but knowing and feeling are different things. What if I-"
You kissed him.
Not gently. Not the careful, reverent kisses of the morning or the teary, desperate kisses of the afternoon. This was deliberate, slow, deep, your hand on the back of his neck pulling him toward you, your mouth opening against his, your tongue sliding past his lips and he made a sound against your mouth. A low, broken groan that vibrated between you, and his restraint dissolved like sugar in water.
He kissed you back. Hungrily. His hand moved from your stomach to your hip, pulling you closer, then to the small of your back, pressing you flush against him and you could feel him, all of him, the hard length of his arousal pressing against your thigh through the thin cotton of his boxers, the heat radiating off his skin, the way his whole body curved toward yours like a plant toward sunlight. Five months of wanting poured into the space between you like water through a cracked dam.
"Tell me if anything…” He started.
"I'll tell you."
"Promise me."
"I promise."
His hands were trembling again, but different now. Not the grief trembling of the morning or the overwhelm of the afternoon, but something rawer, more primal, the tremor of a man holding himself back from something he desperately wanted to unleash. He pulled the shirt over your head slowly, carefully, his fingers grazing your ribs, your shoulders, the curve of your collarbones and his eyes never left yours, not once, watching your face like it was the only thing in the room worth seeing.
When your bare stomach was exposed, he paused. His hand rested on the curve, warm and broad, his thumb tracing the dark line that had appeared below your navel, following it from just beneath your breasts to where it disappeared beneath the waistband of your underwear.
"Beautiful." He breathed. "You're so beautiful like this. I can't… I don't have words for what you look like right now."
He undressed himself without looking away from you, pulling his shirt overhead, the muscles of his torso catching the low lamplight; lean, defined, the body of a man who danced four hours a night and stepped out of his boxers. When he was bare, he lowered himself beside you, one hand braced beside your head, the other sliding down your side, over the swell of your hip, the curve of your waist, learning you like a song he'd forgotten the melody to.
He pulled your underwear down slowly, his knuckles dragging along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and you shivered, your legs falling open instinctively. The sound he made when he saw you, completely bare, completely changed, your body a landscape of new curves and fullness, was somewhere between a gasp and a groan, something involuntary and wrecked.
"Come here." He murmured, his hand guiding your leg over his hip, opening you to him. "Slow. We're going slow."
He positioned himself at your entrance, the blunt head of him pressing against you, slick and hot. His jaw clenched, eyes squeezing shut for a moment like he was composing himself, gathering the fraying threads of his control. Then he opened his eyes and looked at you as he pushed in.
Slowly.
So slowly you felt every inch of him, the stretch and the fullness and the impossible intimacy of being entered like this, his body sliding into yours with a care that bordered on reverence. His mouth fell open. A low, ragged groan escaped him, guttural and deep, vibrating in his chest, and his hand tightened on your thigh where it was hooked over his hip.
"Oh God." He whispered. "Oh… God. You feel- I forgot. I forgot how you feel."
He was fully inside you now, his hips flush against yours, and he held still, his forehead pressed against yours, his breath coming in uneven gusts against your mouth. You could feel him pulsing inside you, the throb of him buried deep. Your body clenched around him involuntarily and he hissed through his teeth, his fingers digging into your hip.
"Okay?" He whispered.
"Okay. More than okay."
He began to move.
The first thrust was shallow, experimental, testing the angle and his eyes were locked on your face, watching for any flicker of discomfort, any tightening of your jaw. When you moaned, soft, involuntary, your nails scratching lightly down his back, something shifted in his expression. The caution was still there but it was threaded now with need, with hunger, with five months of sleeping alone and dreaming about this.
He pulled back and thrust again, deeper this time. The sound of your bodies meeting was obscene and beautiful… skin against skin, wet and warm, the soft impact of his hips against the inside of your thighs. His groan was muffled against your throat, his lips dragging over your pulse point, tasting the salt of your skin.
"Missed this." He breathed against your neck, his rhythm building, each thrust rolling into the next like waves. "Missed you. Missed this. Every night I… fuck, every night I imagined being right here."
"Michael-" You whimpered out.
"Tell me. Tell me what you thought about."
"I'd lay in your shirt on your side of the bed and I'd put my hand where yours should have been. I’d close my eyes and try to hear your voice."
He groaned, deep, guttural, almost pained and his hips snapped forward harder, the angle shifting, and you gasped, your back arching. His hand found the small of your back and pulled you closer, changing the depth, the pressure and the tip of him dragged against something inside you that made your vision blur.
"Right there." You breathed. "Right there, don't stop."
"I'm not stopping. I'm not, God, I'm never stopping."
His pace deepened. Not rough, not careless, but deliberate now, each thrust purposeful, hitting that spot again and again, then his hand slid between your bodies, his fingers finding the slick, swollen bundle of nerves in the midst of your thighs. When he touched you, circling, gentle, maddening, you cried out, your hips jerking against his hand, his mouth catching yours and swallowing the sound.
"Look at me." He murmured against your lips. "Open your eyes. I want to see you."
You opened them. His face was inches from yours, flushed and open, his lips parted, his dark eyes luminous with something that went beyond desire into territory you didn't have a name for. He was moving inside you with a rhythm that was building, tightening, each thrust pulling you higher and his fingers were working you in slow circles, matching the cadence of his hips. The dual sensation was too much, not enough and exactly right.
"I thought about this every single night." He breathed, his voice wrecked, barely a voice at all, just ragged fragments of sound. "I'd lay there in those hotel rooms, in those empty beds, I'd close my eyes and feel you. I'd remember the way you sound when I'm inside you. The way your face looks when you're close. I'd remember and it would hurt, it would physically hurt, because you were here and I was there and there was nothing I could–"
He broke off, his hips stuttering, his rhythm faltering for a moment as emotion and sensation collided. Michael pressed his face into your neck and breathed you in, his teeth grazing your collarbone, his tongue soothing the mark.
"You're here now." You whispered, your fingers in his hair, pulling gently. "You're here."
"I'm here. I'm here."
His hand cradled your belly as he thrust, his palm spanning the curve, his fingers splayed across the taut skin and the tenderness of the gesture, the way he was holding you, holding her, even now, even in this, made your eyes sting. He wasn't just making love to you. He was worshipping you. Every touch, every kiss, every measured roll of his hips was an apology and a promise tangled together, five months of absence transmuted into presence, into proof that he was here, that he'd come home, that he wasn't leaving again.
The pleasure was building. You could feel it coiling at the base of your spine, tightening with each thrust, each circle of his fingers and your breath was coming faster, your hips moving to meet his, the wet sound of your bodies filling the room alongside his groans and your moans with the creak of the mattress beneath you.
"I-" You gasped. "I'm… Michael, I'm close."
"I know. I can feel you. I can feel you getting tighter, oh God, baby, you feel so good, you feel so-”
His fingers moved faster. His thrusts became shorter, sharper, angled to hit that spot with every stroke and his free hand gripped your hip, holding you in place. His face was pressed against yours, his breath hot on your cheek, his lashes fluttering against your skin. He was groaning, low, continuous, desperate sounds that vibrated through his chest into yours.
"Come for me." He whispered, his voice shattered. "Let me feel you. I've been waiting five months to feel you come apart. Please. Please."
You broke.
The orgasm hit you like a wave you'd been swimming toward, cresting and crashing. Your whole body seized, your back arching off the bed, your thighs trembling, your hands fisting in the sheets and the sound that came out of you wasn't a word, wasn't anything recognisable, just raw, ragged pleasure torn from somewhere deep. Your walls clenched around him, rhythmic and tight, pulling him deeper, and he groaned, his hips snapping forward once, twice, three times, losing the careful rhythm, losing control.
"Oh- oh fuck… baby, I'm-"
His hips stuttered. His whole body went rigid, every muscle locking and he buried himself to the hilt and came with his face pressed against your throat, his cry muffled against your skin. You felt him pulsing inside you, hot and deep, each throb timed with a broken groan that sounded like it had been pulled from somewhere primal, somewhere that words couldn't reach. His hand on your stomach pressed flat, holding you, holding everything, and his hips gave two final, involuntary thrusts, shallow, spent, trembling, before he collapsed against you, careful even in his exhaustion, his weight braced on his forearms so he didn't press against your belly.
For a long moment, there was nothing but breathing.
Heavy, ragged, shared. His face in your neck. Your fingers in his hair. The wet throb of him still inside you, softening slowly and the aftershocks rippling through you in small, involuntary tremors that made your legs twitch and your breath hitch.
"I love you." He whispered into your skin. His voice was wrecked. Absolutely wrecked. "I love you so much it scares me.”
You held him. His weight against you was the best thing you'd ever felt, warm, solid and real. His heartbeat was hammering against your chest, gradually slowing, his hand still on your stomach, thumb tracing lazy circles. And beneath his palm, your daughter moved.. a flutter, a kick, small and unmistakable.
He felt it.
His head snapped up. His eyes were wide, wet, luminous and his hand pressed more firmly against your belly, waiting. And when the kick came again stronger this time, a definite thump against his palm, his face crumpled into something that was beyond joy, beyond wonder, something closer to transcendence.
"She kicked. That was her." He breathed.
"That was her."
"She knows I'm here." His voice broke. "She knows I came home."
He lowered his mouth to your stomach and pressed a long, trembling kiss against the spot where the kick had landed. His shoulders shook and you threaded your fingers through his hair, holding him there. The three of you lay, tangled together in the lamplight, his mouth on your belly, your hand in his hair, your daughter's heartbeat somewhere between you and the five months of absence dissolved into this single, perfect moment of presence.
He didn't sleep for hours. He lay beside you with his hand on your stomach, feeling every movement, every flutter and shift, his eyes open in the dark, memorising this version of you.
The one he'd missed, the one he'd come home to, the one he was never going to leave again.