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Just some projections I worked on for The National playing at Roy Wilkins tonight. Kinda nice.

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shitthesignssay

shittyroommates-blog

surprisingly accurate.

4th of July is a lot more fun if you imagine the sound of fireworks is simply a massive gunfight between everyone you dislike.

itsalwayssunny

Currently planning a Bachelor party for my mom's new boyfriend/fiance' getting married this weekend.

The catch is that he's not invited and it's just an excuse for me to fill this trip with debauchery.

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I spend one day a year celebrating Father's day and 364 days celebrating how many stupid dudes haven't bred yet.

#father's day #feel the love

Woah

#portugal. the man

Listening to other peoples’ stupid arguments makes me depressed. Find something better to think about for 4 minutes please

Ordered from a food truck today on set

Me: Hi, I'll get a chicken and wild rice burger

Ex-Miss Minnesota: Oh cool, so you're vegetarian?

#really

I'm hungry for adventure but would settle for cheese curds

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I finally upgraded to a blu ray player with Netflix streaming and it's hard to believe there was a time when I would get off my bed and move 5 feet to start a new episode

Extra time and extra tape on set.

Still missed the mark.

I can't wait til this feature shoot is over and I never have to deal with Jennifer Jayleen Martinez's stupid personality ever again

#the worst person award

Yeah getting paid to wait on a beach

#waiting on talent

I'll have everyone know that I ate three Burger King breakfast sandwiches this morning and didn't throw up once

#how?

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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White people problems: When your check is physically too big to fit into an ATM deposit slip and you have to go to the bank when it's open.

Birthdays are better when B-list celebrities wish you happy birthday on set

#kinda nice

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