Shit My Startup Says

"We need to get a bigger run at it down the hallway if it's going to touch the ceiling. Just don't hit the execs." - Employee

Developer:  "Yeah. But if I can't, I have a buddy that knows this stuff."

“It's a minor feature. I can have that done in 7 to 10 days." - Dev to Founder

Co-founder #2:  The site's been live for six months.

"We had a bit of a 'come to Jesus' about where we were going. Nobody seemed to care that much." - Co-founder

Founder 2: We need to research heat tolerant rodents.

"Everything is a system - women, our dinner, this wine cellar. I'm just better at picking out the things that matter." - Advisor to Founder

"If you'd have spent that much time selling, instead of asking for money, you'd probably still have 100% of your company for the same effort." - Advisor to Founder

"Everybody loves your house, nobody wants to write you a check." - Angel to Founders

"I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I fucking hate hearing 'pivot'. Just call it what it is. You fucking failed - and then you moved on." - Founder/Investor/Advisor

"There just ain't enough cowboys who code for you to stay up there." - VC to Founders

"You just have to stroke them a little. I think that should be our sales strategy." - Co-founder

"Dad, I can help you with your startup. You just need to save all your dollars." - Founder's son (5 yrs)

"We're still planning on working out the 5-year's, but right now we need to sell." - Co-founder

"Nobody likes getting dicked around, but you gotta kind of expect that." - Sales Vet to Intern

(...on the absolute power of social networks over startups built on their platforms).

"I needed a little stability, so having a regular gig will be nice." - Co-founder on working for someone else's startup